In my search for a submissive, I have found one.
Somehow, that search has ended and sparked a search for something more...possibly a slave.
Don't get me wrong, my quiet sub is okay.
He's just not great.
He doesn't make me feel alive the way I did before.
This may not be entirely his fault but as my sub I expect him to strive to please me.
Instead he strives to be compliant. He doesn't seem to have anything that gets him going, he just follows suit with me. Also since he is a sub and not a slave, we don't always engage in D/s activities. Sometimes we watch tv, eat dinner, drink, smoke, basically anything but the good stuff (i.e. spanking, handcuffing, gagging, etc).
I understand, I'm the Dominant one here, it's my ballgame, I run the show. I would feel much more inclined if he were more open about things. He seems to be insanely shy (he won't watch movies that embarrass the main character because it affects him), he's pretty quiet, and, his penis hates condoms...every time I get the two of them together one shrinks down in disobedience...guess which one?
And he seems to want to have sex a lot more than he wants to be submissive. I often find him topping from the bottom and being quite forceful with his intentions. I have rebuffed him numerous times but my tactics are weakening and soon I may have to get bitchy. I suppose it is partly my fault for getting tipsy as well a few times and going along with sex.
But, it is here I have found desiring all the things I miss in a slave. In what my sub lacks I long for in someone who will hand it over readily.
Perhaps it is time to delve deeper into the rabbit hole once again...
23 hours ago