Just say when

Some friends of mine had a heated debate regarding safewords.

Some people hate safewords, feeling that they restrict the natural flow of the relationship and their play time.

Others don't understand their proper place and find them amusing.

While the majority of people use safewords to well...feel safe.

Safewords are pre-determined word(s) or a phrase said at intervals at which you'd like your play partner to alter their actions in a more forgiving manner to prevent any harmful damage.

My stance is that every relationship no matter how old, complicated, or linear in its intentions should acquire a safeword.

The tried and true "Safe, sane, and consensual" saying holds some leverage. If you do want to participate in something that at least appears to be sane then deciding on a safeword is a great start.

I asked a few people what their safewords were and got an electic mix.

There were the usual suspects:

Green=Keep going
Yellow=Slow down
Red=Stop

Some non-traditional ones such as:

Smurf
Fire
Snuffleupagus
Monkey
Lawsuit
Blue
Puff
Mayday

And the oddly overly prevalent food ones:

Pineapple
Kumquat
Blueberry pancakes
Bubblegum
Bananas
Wasabi

I'm not sure what it says about us kinksters that our minds go to off-the-wall foods for safewords but it's funny to imagine them being yelled out mid-scene.

If you happen to be gagged or have a set of limbs tied you can always use the "tap out" method, or if your eyes are visible use blinking as a safeword. Make sure to discern what means what prior to play. And hopefully you don't have an extra sadistic partner who will revel in delight at your attempts for plea.

That's not to say all relationships will have use for their safewords but it's always nice to have one handy...in case they're tied.

"Roleplaying" test results (Week 4)

Roleplaying for me is like a lavish meal, if all the details aren't in place it falls flat like biscuits with no butter. So this week's training was especially a fun one for me as anytime I get to flex my creative skills I'm happy. Thru a convoluted series of questions and mysterious phone calls I narrowed writer sub and I's two roleplaying scenarios down for the week.

First up, we had Mad Scientist/Experimentee. This was the first time I'd ever really roleplayed something like this but it turned out fun for us both. My idea of a mad scientist teetered between Magic School Bus wacky and something that would make Doc Brown smile. Thankfully my "experimentee" took it all like a good little patient.

Secondly we roleplayed Secret Past/Blackmailer. In this instance I had some damaging information about his character and he had to convince me not to release it within his personal and professional life. This one was done solely with a webcam, messenger, and our cellphones. I actually took on the role of a male blackmailer which was an interesting twist that I hadn't planned beforehand.

During the week I as well asked him to read some designated material on roleplaying and its nuances and he was tested on the reading and his roleplaying performances (was he convincing? did he stay in character? did he make good use of costumes or props? etc).

No extra credit was given this week. Those have been privileges that I've afforded him. I also threw in some submissive position review and much to my surprise writer sub hadn't forgotten them!

That's why it's no surprise my star pupil scored well above the minimum passing grade of a 75% with a score of...

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Total Score :        95 /100        Pass     


You've passed the halfway mark with flying colors writer sub!! I'm so proud of you. I hope you're ready for your Etiquette training next week =)