This week I turned my online BDSM profiles to inactive.
It's that time again where I must step back and take a break from the scene and re-evaluate myself and my surroundings.
I've been finding it increasingly difficult for me to tolerate the "submissive" men who approach me (on and offline) who are clearly outside of my ideal standards.
In the same respect I have found it even more so lacking in finding someone who does fit within that spectrum The prospects I have seem to be entertaining are sharing a common problem with me being in a vanilla relationship---which hasn't been nearly as much of a problem before this year.
It has made me ponder if the shoe were on the other foot how would I feel? When my last play partner had a girlfriend she wasn't vanilla and I was fine with their relationship as long as she didn't encroach on what I deemed "my" territory. Is this a territorial issue?
I've asked the submissive men what about my vanilla relationship is a problem for them and they are never quite able to put it into words. This in turns leads to me wonder if this is yet another excuse to hinder them from going thru with their BDSM desires or if there really is an issue for them, my being attached.
This puts me in quite the predicament---would I ever give up my relationship for BDSM or give up BDSM for my relationship?
3 days ago