tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8660383860724401867.post5584458470731938046..comments2023-06-24T10:57:54.741-04:00Comments on From Mundane To Mistress: Day 1: Random ramblingsNatali Noirhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16118844684446439081noreply@blogger.comBlogger1125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-8660383860724401867.post-59368465987544866382009-05-25T01:11:17.679-04:002009-05-25T01:11:17.679-04:00because on some level I wanted to get caught. I wa...<I>because on some level I wanted to get caught. I wanted to be found out.</I> <br /><br />I have cheated in the past, usually felt horrible, told my SO and broke up with them afterward or I have not told them but come up with another reason to break up. Other times I get annoyed with little things about someone and find reasons to end things.<br /><br />I think it is because secretly I don't feel "worthy" of being loved (this was a friend of mine's theory and something about it rings true for me even though I can't believe in it fully which makes me think it probably is true) and have to sabotage anything that is good for me.<br /><br /><I>Many people I know tell me I have a flawless personality. Yes I have actually heard these words several times. It's unnerving. It's nearly heart stopping to hear that people think you don't have flaws. The pressure of that statement alone is enough to make you want to spit in their face.</I> <br /><br />I feel you on this, so many guys have told me I am perfect. I think "perfect nightmare" or "perfect heartache" is more like it. Even after I have hurt them, they've still loved me and wanted to stay with me but I hated myself for what I did.<br /><br /><I>I am full of flaws. I cuss at my Mom, I pee with the door open, I snore, I can be a royal bitch when I'm hungry, I always think I'm right, I can be too logical, etc etc. I am riddled with flaws.</I>Ditto!! But instead of snoring, I talk in my sleep! Haha.<br /><br />I feel your pain!Transformative Crystalshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00357223307746160227noreply@blogger.com