Rant: Polyamory is not a bad word
Date: Monday, August 29, 2011Listen up men of the interwebs...swingers ≠ polyamorous
I have a few profiles floating around online and all of them mention my being in an open relationship. Despite my stating its variance to swinging the young (and sometimes much too old), dense men writing me don't seem to understand the distinct differences.
So it is for that reason I think it's imperative I explain it as I see it.
Swingers
This is a non-monogamous sexual act. Some people call it 'wife swapping' or 'partner swapping' despite the sexist connotation of it. A couple decides to and is aware of sexual activity with other people. Typically the couple shares these sexual excursions together but not always. Each partner always knows and consents to the sexual activity outside of the relationship. Their sexual acts are usually limited to that of conventional nature and is often only practiced at certain events catered to swinging, swinging clubs, etc. Within this there are two kinds of swapping "full swapping" (full penetrative sex), and "soft swapping" (oral sex). As you may notice at the core of swinging is good ol' fashion sex.
Polyamorous
The very name of this non-monogamous act explains what it means. It is comprised of the Greek words ultimately meaning "many loves". This is also another form of ethical non-monogamy. All partners are aware of outside relationships, however they don't necessarily participate as a couple and sometimes not even both participate. Sex is not the main objective of this type of relationship, experiencing multiple and diverse relationships and all they entail is. The true spirit in being in more than one relationship at a time.
The only commonalities that these share is that they are both consensual, honest, non-monogamous types of relationships. One revolves mainly around sex and the other revolves around building a relationship with an additional person(s).
I can see why the men writing me want me be into swinging. It's much more appealing on the surface and if you're looking for a quick roll in the hay, that's the fastest way to get there but that's not what me and the bf are practicing. But you can't lump us all together just because we do things in an unconventional manner. That doesn't mean we don't crave respect, tolerance, and someone who gives a damn to learn the difference.
I honestly think that both types have their respective pros and cons and even have participated in swinging in the past---nevertheless for now, I am searching for something deeper than 8 inches haha.
I have a few profiles floating around online and all of them mention my being in an open relationship. Despite my stating its variance to swinging the young (and sometimes much too old), dense men writing me don't seem to understand the distinct differences.
So it is for that reason I think it's imperative I explain it as I see it.
Swingers
This is a non-monogamous sexual act. Some people call it 'wife swapping' or 'partner swapping' despite the sexist connotation of it. A couple decides to and is aware of sexual activity with other people. Typically the couple shares these sexual excursions together but not always. Each partner always knows and consents to the sexual activity outside of the relationship. Their sexual acts are usually limited to that of conventional nature and is often only practiced at certain events catered to swinging, swinging clubs, etc. Within this there are two kinds of swapping "full swapping" (full penetrative sex), and "soft swapping" (oral sex). As you may notice at the core of swinging is good ol' fashion sex.
Polyamorous
The very name of this non-monogamous act explains what it means. It is comprised of the Greek words ultimately meaning "many loves". This is also another form of ethical non-monogamy. All partners are aware of outside relationships, however they don't necessarily participate as a couple and sometimes not even both participate. Sex is not the main objective of this type of relationship, experiencing multiple and diverse relationships and all they entail is. The true spirit in being in more than one relationship at a time.
The only commonalities that these share is that they are both consensual, honest, non-monogamous types of relationships. One revolves mainly around sex and the other revolves around building a relationship with an additional person(s).
I can see why the men writing me want me be into swinging. It's much more appealing on the surface and if you're looking for a quick roll in the hay, that's the fastest way to get there but that's not what me and the bf are practicing. But you can't lump us all together just because we do things in an unconventional manner. That doesn't mean we don't crave respect, tolerance, and someone who gives a damn to learn the difference.
I honestly think that both types have their respective pros and cons and even have participated in swinging in the past---nevertheless for now, I am searching for something deeper than 8 inches haha.
