A key for every lock

I like keys.

I've always enjoyed the mysterious quality and history that they hold.

As a child I searched for keys with tenacity and hid them away in a wooden trim decorated box that I had received from an old relative.

When I was with my collection I could pretend the keys went to anything I imagined. I could come up with tales about where they were from and how they had made their way to me.

So it's no surprise that I gravitated toward chastity play as a beloved essential in my kink repertoire. It involves three of my favorite things: cocks, restriction, and keys!

I dabbled in chastity at first, never really having a partner who craved to be locked up the way I wanted until I met him---the submissive who begged me to keep his cock locked up until I thought it was worthy to be released.

I don't think he fully understood the "prison" he was asking for. I was the warden and would gladly lock him away and keep the key for myself.

We started off our chastity play as just that: play. He would wear the device he had chosen for an hour or less when he served me each week but as we got to know each other more my desires increased along with his. He had quite a lovely cock so it pleased me even more to know that when I wanted, it belonged only to me and I was depriving women all around of such a magnificent tool. We moved on to locking him up over the weekends and I loved receiving the texts from him begging for permission to be released because he had met someone at a bar or club and was ashamed to show them the cage. 

Me and my favorite key

Of course I denied it every time. I joked that when he found a woman who wanted to share the key with me, that then and only then, would allow him supervised release.

It had been more than two years with him being locked up on and off regularly. Mostly five days at a time and then I'd release him for cleanings or good behavior.

I never tired of hearing him plead with me late at night after sending naughty pictures of myself to him---just aching to touch himself, even if only for a few brief moments.

We began working on orgasm control and he became very good at controlling himself when I commanded him to come or not to come. I was impressed with his dedication to the cause.

We took a trip together that involved us flying and he was terrified he would be stopped at security for wearing his device. The entire wait up until we cleared security I kept jokingly grabbing him and saying: "Sir! We know what you're hiding". His eyes would widen and his breath would quicken and I would have the giggles for about five minutes at his fright.

Yes, controlling ones orgasms, arousal, and direct contact with their own genitals seemed to be stirring something in me the deeper we delved. At one point he went 101 days straight without release!

But then something happened, he met a girl. A girl who somehow didn't run at the sight of his cock cage (he willingly showed her). She was actually very curious about it and what it all meant. And while she had lapses in her expression of how "odd" it was, she eventually contacted me for advice and questions.

I told her nearly everything I knew about chastity devices and eventually she asked me to hold the key on special occasions. I really had to ponder this. Was I ready to give up even just a fraction of the power I held over him? Relegating the command of his orgasms seemed impossible at that point. (And I'll be the first to admit, I was on a bit of a power high haha)

When I consulted him on the situation he stated that he also worried that she was not prepared to be his dedicated key holder so asked me if I would train her as a key holder for the future. I was flattered and took up the challenge wholeheartedly.

Ten months, various workshops, piles of books, and hours of videos later I felt she was capable of key holding for him. She seemed to have let go of nearly all the negative connotations she had toward chastity play and understood the deeper meaning behind it; he craved control and functioned better with it.

It was shortly thereafter he told me he wanted to marry this girl who had become an integral part of our accidental triad. He wanted MY permission to do so. Who was I to deny him love? "Of course!" I told him instantly.

I was invited to the wedding but was unable to attend so instead I sent the best gift I could give. One that I hoped they would cherish as much as I had.

It was a card with a key attached that simply read: You already have the key to his heart now here is the key to his cock.

A trade

This week I turned my online BDSM profiles to inactive.

It's that time again where I must step back and take a break from the scene and re-evaluate myself and my surroundings.

I've been finding it increasingly difficult for me to tolerate the "submissive" men who approach me (on and offline) who are clearly outside of my ideal standards.

In the same respect I have found it even more so lacking in finding someone who does fit within that spectrum The prospects I have seem to be entertaining are sharing a common problem with me being in a vanilla relationship---which hasn't been nearly as much of a problem before this year.

It has made me ponder if the shoe were on the other foot how would I feel? When my last play partner had a girlfriend she wasn't vanilla and I was fine with their relationship as long as she didn't encroach on what I deemed "my" territory. Is this a territorial issue?

I've asked the submissive men what about my vanilla relationship is a problem for them and they are never quite able to put it into words. This in turns leads to me wonder if this is yet another excuse to hinder them from going thru with their BDSM desires or if there really is an issue for them, my being attached.

This puts me in quite the predicament---would I ever give up my relationship for BDSM or give up BDSM for my relationship?