TMI Tuesday #185

I found another little nifty tradition floating around here on Blogger. TMI (Too Much Info) Tuesdays! Yippee! Sharing info is always fun. There are no real rules or guidelines just answering the questions honestly. Enjoy peeking inside Mistress L's head readers!

1. Have you ever bought a membership to a porn site? If yes, what is the most recent one and did you like it? Nope, I'm not really into porn ironically enough. I find it way too amusing to take even semi-serious nor erotic. Also I feel like the acts of sex are free, why the heck do we have to pay for it?! Poor poor men around the world wide web.

2. Would you rather watch a erotic/porn movie, read a story, or listen to an audio? Why? I would probably rather read an erotic story. I love visualizing what's being described to me. Helps me get my creative juices flowing!

3. If you have a significant other what do you do for each other to get in the mood? If you don't what would you kind of thing could a future potential long term partner do to get you in the mood? Well the bf and I try to be open and communicative especially with foreplay. There's some kissing, a little rubbing, maybe a little sucking...but, I'm not really a foreplay kinda woman, I like a small amount of titillation and then right to the main event! That probably comes from the fact that I'm in the  15% of women who can only orgasm from penetration alone.

4. When it comes to sex, how much do you talk about it with others? How comfortable are you talking about sex? I talk about sex a lot haha. All my friends come to me for advice in this subject and people I know are usually not surprised at my sexapades. I love talking about sex and sexual related things because I think it's a good insight of someones true personality.

5. What are the last 5 things you search for on Google (or another search engine)?
-Percentage of women who orgasm only from penetration
-Chinese basketball players
-How to uninstall Netflix from Xbox 360
-Dominant "top drop"
-Fetish boots

Bonus: Have you ever had a fantasy that you were ashamed of? Yes, just one. Where I fantasized about my friend's dad doing dirty dirty things to myself and my friend. I'm sick in the head I know haha. Did I mention I was 16 at the time?

The Thinking Dominant: Love

The Thinking Dominant usually has some pretty interesting questions to pose.

The latest ones are no different. Though I have to admit I have been avoiding answering these questions since they've been posted in February...I haven't wanted to offend anyone but I think I'm ready to answer them honestly.

I hope that people reading these remember these are just one Mistress's opinions, it is not what's right, it may not even be what is usual, it just based off my perspective...

Topic: Love
Questions:

Is love different in D/s relationships compared to vanilla ones?
Yes. Absolutely. I only say this with such conviction because having been on both ends of the paddle I realize how much trust it takes to obey or command. I don't think that you can offer that sort of raw-openness in vanilla relationships because intentions (no matter how good) usually are not written out. Part of what makes the D/s relationship work is that both parties know what to expect when going in but in vanilla relationships part of the relationship is the mystery of asking yourself, "Where will this go?"

Do Dominants and submissives love differently?
I am not sure if it is different but I believe it is expressed differently. Again I have to point to the level of trust and communication it takes to make these specific types of relationships to work. It takes a lot of trust to turn your bare ass to someone and know that they will not hurt you even though they have an instrument that could in their hand. Just as it takes trust to know that the submissive is being honest about wanting this and will not later claim abuse, etc.

Have you experienced submissives falling in love faster than Dominants?
I have. As a Dominant (who was briefly a submissive as part of a learning experience) I have to say that many of my submissives feel very deeply for me very quickly. Some not as deep as others but it is surprising how often I hear "I feel like I have known you for a long time". I believe this comes from the level of intimacy shared between a D/s. It's an emotional roller coaster when you are in play or a session. And once you are finished or at least calming down you are able to reflect and understand why you just did what you did. I think it's easier to pinpoint feelings when there is nothing in between the two parties like fancy dinners, small talks getting to know one another, forced dates, etc.

Are there types of love in D/s?
Yes. I think what type of love varies depending on what degree of D/s they are engaged in.

None of this is to say that vanilla relationships are not cable of the level of love expressed in a D/s relationship or vice versa. One does not supersede another. It is just meant to show that some emotion is there. It isn't all leather, spankings, and obedience.

Because underneath all of that, there are still two people doing something that they enjoy.

A Mistress gets what a Mistress wants

Tonight I briefly mentioned to my slave that I was toying with the idea of getting a second slave to help me with some of the BDSM events. The new slave would essentially be my lackey. 

But, he didn't seem to fancy this idea. To his credit his initial response was "Whatever you would like Mistress" But when I gave him permission to speak freely he said otherwise. He had some valid points...and he is currently my favorite (and only!) slave. 

Perhaps he is right...a boyfriend and a slave, what more could a girl really want???

@ my beck & call

Thursday night was a pleasant night, filled with tiny surprises throughout. =)

I had a busy, busy day. I attended a privately run BDSM costume party in Philly to photograph the event. The drive there was fun (I find driving very relaxing), the party was astonishing for such a small get-together, and the costumes were just great. I am however not able to post any pictures due to release forms (insert crowd "awww"). If you're reading this and I met you at the party please don't feel shy about saying 'hi'! It was a pleasure meeting all the new and interesting faces. But, I had to leave the party early to head back to DC. I was meeting my slave for a bit and then picking up the bf from his out of state bus ride to see me for the weekend. 

I came home, showered off the scent of heavy perfumes, sweat, leather, and a lot of sexual tension. I texted my slave that he was to come over and be waiting in his spot if I was still in the shower washing my hair. He was to stay there until I was finished. Luckily for him once he arrived at my apartment after work I was finished showering and such. He immediately put on his collar and leash (God, I love seeing him in it), and went to his spot until I called him in.

He had texted me earlier, "On my way over with bad news."

Now, I don't know about you but when I hear someone say "bad news" my mind immediately goes for the worse...at least that way if it's not the worst I am pleasantly surprised. So at the moment the worst I could think of was that he was moving out of country (he is from another country) and going back home. I hate to admit that however brief it was, there was a tightening in my chest at the thought of not being able to have him. So when I called him into the room I was sitting in I asked him,

"So tell me what this bad news is already"

To which he replied, "Please Mistress don't be mad or angry at me..."

I scrunched up my face in anticipation of what was to come.

"I lost my necklace, I can't find it." He said with slight panic in his voice.

Oh, just the damn necklace I thought in relief. Not that this necklace isn't important but it's not on the same scale as potentially losing your slave. The "necklace" we speak of is a set of necklaces that we decided to exchange when I took my slave as mine in training. They are a very elegant yet simple form of daytime collar that we wear at all times. He had not worn it the past two times I saw him and I had let it slide. But really if my slave forgets his (he is only allowed to remove it shower or swim) then he gets punished. Which is what happened next.

"Go to the bedroom and get in the punishment position," I said as sternly as I could muster. 

Granted he was in trouble and I was pretty annoyed that he'd lost the necklace we promised to wear and cherish, I was more excited that I'd get to spank him. I am not one of those Mistresses who hits their slaves just for the hell of it. I've got to have a good enough reason...good enough at least to me before I exhibit anything beyond general hair pulling, nipple biting, light smacking and the likes. This was exactly that. It would be the first time my slave would be punished.

I waited a few moments before walking to the bedroom where he half laid across the bed, ass in the air, hands over his head. I looked for my favorite leather paddle and tapped it a few times on my hand as I spoke to myself 

"This should be good" I muttered.

I walked over to my slave, rubbed his back then yanked down his boxers exposing his bare bottom. I took the paddle in my right hand and a handful of his hair in my left.

"Tell me you're sorry" I commanded.

SMACK! Before he could answer "I'm sorry Mistress."

"Louder!" I raised my voice.

"I'm SORRY Mistress," he repeated.

SMACK!

This time he jumped a little. "Tell me what you're sorry for" I tested him.

"I'm sorry for losing the necklace," he responded weakly.

SMACK! SMACK! SMACK! The black, leather paddle become one with my hand.

"That's right that you're sorry, tell me again" I stated again.

"I'm sorry Mistress, I'm sorry," this time I knew he meant it.

I smacked him a bit harder. He jumped at contact of the paddle and his ass.

"You are sorry. You are being disrespectful to your Mistress. You wear this necklace for a reason, what is that reason?" I asked him as I rubbed his back slowly in circles.

"I wear it to remind me that I am yours. You own me Mistress" he said.

This was an acceptable response. I smacked him a few more times for good measure, pulled up his boxers and then told him to get into the worshipping position. He did so immediately. I told him to stay in that position and count to 60 and then come to me in the living room.

After a minute he arrived in with a smile on his face. "Thank you Mistress" he said to me as he sat by my feet to rub them.

He is a good slave.

And it is for that reason that I permitted to get more than tipsy with him. He brought alcohol over and we had planned to drink lightly. We played a video game (he sucked haha), and drank beer and took shots. I do not know what other Mistresses do with slaves but I have found if I can connect with my slaves on more than a M/s level I receive better performances from them. So we drank and since I had not eaten since Philly all the alcohol I consumed was going straight to me. I ordered my slave to make me a cheese sandwich, which he did in a timely fashion but it was too late. The drinks were already taking affect. We talked and soon I began rubbing on him. This week he is going thru a masturbation training regime, where he is not to touch himself or orgasm unless the regime calls for it, which I know it doesn't until Saturday. Some days it specifies he can come close to orgasming but not complete it. One day he is to only rub himself on objects around his home.

"What's your task today?" I asked slyly.

"No touching or rubbing myself" he stated honestly.

I told him to get on his knees. "Well it says you can't touch or rub yourself, it doesn't say your Mistress can't," I teased as I reached inside his boxers and lightly grazed his cock with my fingertips.

"Yes Mistress" he said aloud.

I proceeded to tease him to no end. Describing to him how much I wanted to suck his cock but wouldn't. I held his dick in my mouth thru his boxers as he moaned continuously.

He knows how wet I get talking about going down on him so he pushed me back in the chair, which actually fell to the ground with me in it. I started giggling, drunk laughter as he spread my legs open. He rammed two fingers into my wet pussy and wriggled them around. I moaned softly to let him know that I was enjoying his touch. He inserted another finger. This time I moaned louder.

"Please Mistress, let me taste you" he begged.

"No" I said.
"Please Mistress, please," he begged again.
"No. And no matter how drunk I get tonight you are not to go down on me" I ordered half slurring.

"Yes Mistress, of course" he whispered as he began to fuck me again with his fingers.

I sat up (as best I could) and took his fingers into my mouth then sucked his nipples as he slid them back into me. 


We were like this for some time. Letting the ebb and flow of our sexual desire sway us in adjoining directions. It was a good feeling. At some point I made him bow down so I could take pictures of him. The drunken pictures of my slave actually weren't so bad.

Then I realized that I had lost all track of time.

"Shit, what time is it?" I asked frantically pulling my black silk skirt back up over my thighs.

"Umm...I dunno Mistress, I am sorry, let me look" my slave answered.

I realized that I was suppose to be at the station to pick up the bf 25 minutes ago.

"Shit, shit, shit...this is your fault slave" I said as I tried and failed to stand.

"Yes Mistress" was his response. He came to my side and helped me stand up.

I made him come with me to pick up the bf because I was still tipsy and worried that my driving would not be at its best. He begged not to come; as he likes to avoid any awkwardness with the bf but I told him he had no other option, so he did as he was told.

Once back home with the bf and slave I told my slave he could leave. I gave him the usual orders:
-Drive home slow and carefully (my slave has a lead foot and likes to disobey road signs)
-Text me when he got home
-Call me the following day

We kissed and I let him leave. Now I went in to the bf. He was tired from the 4.5 hour trip but still managed to give me a proper fucking later that night/morning. As hard as I tried not to, I did think about my slave watching me fuck the bf while he sat in his corner. I hope the couple I met who were into cuckolding and BDSM haven't rubbed off on me haha.

Hmmm...

HNT-The First of many!

I have come across HNT (Half-Nekkid Thursday), a semi-tradition seen here on some blogs and a very cool idea that I'm more than willing to participate in (hey, any chance to get nekkid and I'm in!)

I've searched for some orgin and rules on the subject and have found this at Osbasso's blog:

The Guidelines

I offer these guidelines for "Half-Nekkid Thursday":

• In that North American, Puritanical way that most of my readers think, "Nekkid", or its variations, somehow insinuates sex, or its variations. WRONG!! The purpose of "Half-Nekkid Thursday" is not to see sex acts! It is the celebration of exposure. Of your big toe. Of your breastbone. Of your knuckles. Of your uvula. Whatever. Of course, sex acts can qualify, so if you want to post those.....
  
• "Nekkid" is not the same as nude! Again, nude qualifies, but it is not a requirement!
  Pictures should be taken of you or by you. Don't be going to some internet site and downloading "Half-Nekkid" pics. And don't use Uncle Bob's pictures from Spring Break '72, either. Let's try to keep this fairly "real".
  
• You don't necessarily have to be the subject of the picture. By the same token, if you're not, then the subject(s) should be known to you. No fair going to the beach and snapping pictures left and right. Yes, they might be "Half-Nekkid", but they don't follow the spirit of "Half-Nekkid Thursday".
  
• While animals can be included in a "Half-Nekkid Thursday" picture, they are not the focus, therefore cannot be the subject. If an animal is all that keeps your picture "Half-Nekkid" rather than "Full-Nekkid", that's OK.
  
• You are allowed a very limited number of cute-kids-in-the-tub type of pictures. We're interested in YOU!
  
• Use some originality with your shots. Facial shots should be limited. Artsy body landscapes, conversely, are highly encouraged. If a partner/family member is needed to take the picture, that's OK.
  
• Props can help you with creativity, and their use is encouraged, but not necessary.
  
• As we get into this, you may find that you want to post more than one picture for "Half-Nekkid Thursday". I would discourage this practice unless absolutely necessary. You should hold some pictures in reserve, in case you find yourself without a new picture down the road.
  
• While I can hardly control when you post pictures on your own blogs, let's try to keep "Half-Nekkid Thursday" special, and post "Half-Nekkid" pics only on Thursdays. If you feel the urge to post them more than once a week, I might recommend just emailing them out, rather than posting.
  
• Tattoos are certainly an acceptable subject, regardless of location. Scars are also acceptable, but please respect the others who visit "Half-Nekkid Thursday" on a regular basis. Spread out the scar pictures over a few weeks' time, please!
  
• Speaking of scars--If you use a picture of a scar, it must be accompanied by some sort of humorous anectdote as to how you got it. For a long, but good example, go here.
  
• Other skin conditions might not be acceptable, due to good taste. These include, but are not limited to warts, zits, lesions, ingrown hairs, boils, open sores, peeling skin, scabies, rashes, or any other assorted gross things. I'm not saying that you can't post them. Just use your best judgement, for the sake of the rest of us.
  
• When referring to "Half-Nekkid Thursday", please spell it correctly! Not Naked, not Neked, not Nakid. It's "Half-Nekkid Thursday".
  
• It's very important to not be dissing other's submissions! We're all going to have half-hearted entries from time to time. None of us is better than the other. One the other hand, it's completely acceptable to heap praise upon those that deserve it!
  
• IMPORTANT!--Remember to visit my current "HNT" post and leave a comment indicating that you've posted a picture for "Half-Nekkid Thursday". Consider my blog as the informational kiosk for "Half-Nekkid Thursday". You'll be able to see who is joining the tradition. Commenting is much easier for all concerned, rather than updating my blog each time someone posts their picture. I will try to keep the Blogroll in my sidebar updated each week.

So, as my first HNT, here's my post! Is it wrong that being half nekkid really gets me this giddy?

I decided to go with one of my best of assests =) But honestly sometimes I think they are a bit ridiculously large...it's almost overkill. Most of all I feel like I am shaming A-cups everywhere. I mean a C-cup would be just bragging, but a DDD-cup...that's just down right cruel haha. Enjoy!

Knock knock

You know your slave is doing a good job when he stops you in your tracks and he isn't even there...  

Today walking thru my kitchen I paused briefly because I thought I smelled my slave. Yes, I said smell. I have a very keen sense of smell and often associate smells with people. 

My slave wears a cologne that I have come to long and request he wear whenever he sees me; it is his scent. Almost religiously after he leaves my apartment, my sheets, clothes, hair, couch, and anything else he has touched or brushed passed smells like him. I thought I smelled it today in the kitchen. I kept going to the front door and seeing if he was waiting on the other side because sometimes he does that until I open the door for him. It took me a few minutes to realize that it was his collar on the front door leaving behind his alluring aroma. Ahh...what a wonderful aroma it is...

We knew it all along...

So a chemist, a film and television expert and a psychologist walk into an S&M club to watch couples play a little rough… No, that’s not the beginning of a joke but an actual, honest to goodness study about the relationships of couples which practice a variety of sadomasochistic activities. And as it turns out, bondage and domination can bring couples closer together provided that both partners enjoyed themselves. This sounds like a no brainer at first, but we have to consider how S&M play was originally perceived by psychology

Until the late 1980s, sadomasochism was viewed as a psycho-sexual disorder and doctors saw all relationships which included bondage, domination, consensual pain and power exchange as pathological. The third edition of the Diagnostic Statistical Manual, or the DSM III, labeled pretty much all kinds of sadomasochistic activities as proof that the patient had a sexual dysfunction to be treated. But a number of research projects started finding that relationships in which S&M play was a form of intimacy, weren’t actually as uncommon or as rough as most early treatises on sexual health had assumed and that sadomasochism was enjoyed by many people in stable partnerships, with good education and perfectly normal childhoods. As the researchers try to politely note, the original ideas of BDSM in general were based more on the societal opinions of the enthusiasts than factual evidence. 

Now, just watching S&M enthusiasts enjoying themselves is more of a fun Friday night than an actual research project which is why the researchers analyzed the production of testosterone and the stress hormone cortisol in those who engaged in bondage, spanking, power exchange and pain and pleasure routines. Their findings were a little surprising. Instead of both partners reacting to the stress of the activities with extra testosterone and cortisol, only the submissive men and women registered a hormonal reaction. The dominant partners maintained the same baseline levels before and after their S&M play. On the psychological end of the study, the men and women who said that their experience that night went well, reported that they felt closer to their partners and were happier with the relationship than those who were left unsatisfied. So in other words, a good night of consensual masochism brings a couple closer together says the study’s conclusion. And the survey data seems to support this idea. 

But I wonder if that’s really so. Usually, the main component in S&M play is the trust. Couples in the lifestyle have a lot of faith in their partners and for that to happen, they generally need to be close and have a good baseline level of relationship happiness before experimenting with S&M, bondage or power exchanges. If the experience is a letdown, it’s a disappointment for both the dominant partner (the top) and the submissive (the bottom) and can be seen as a breach of the trust that got them to agree to the experiment or even suggest it in the the first place. But even though it’s disappointing, it doesn’t mean that it leaves a permanent mark on the relationship. The disappointment might last a day or two and closeness can come from other activities both partners enjoy. Provided that this study was a convenience sample of 58 people over one night and recorded their impressions for that one night only, you might not want to rush to the S&M club nearest to you in hopes of repairing wounded relationships with a little rough play just yet. Unless your partner suggests it of course, and you’re into the idea… 

See: Sagarin, B., et al. (2008). Hormonal Changes and Bonding in Consensual Sadomasochistic Activity Archives of Sexual Behavior, 38 (2), 186-200 DOI: 10.1007/s10508-008-9374-5

Taken from www.worldofweirdthings.com

Rant: Foresekin or not to foreskin...it's not really a question

I was talking with the bf the other night when the topic of foreskin came up. Yes, we have the strangest conversations at 4am. But, for those of you who have not had the pleasure, foreskin is that nifty extra skin covering the penis when it has not been hacked...er...circumsized. It is undoubtedly one of my favorite things about the male body. My slave (sadly) does not have said treasure but his penis will do nonetheless.

I've been hearing since high school that women detest and sometimes are even disgusted by foreskin, and even more often all together write a guy off who has foreskin! This to me sounds like poppycock! (No pun intended)

To women who have not/will not/are repulsed by/refuse to think about foreskin, here's some words of wisdom: You are missing out!

I'm not sure if I missed this whole memo on "Keep 100 Feet or More from Foreskin" because I slept with mostly European guys growing up (who apparently are less keen on the idea of circumcision) or if I'm just that big of a ho' that I don't discriminate. I usually employ a "No Cock Left Behind" motto with many men I meet.

But, I feel unlike women, who, when their breasts are "too small", "too large", "lopsided", or just otherwise "unworthy" they can receive breast augmentation. Whereas men are pretty much stuck with their goods. I mean sure, there's stretching, and penis pumps (don't use them on a regular basis), and even the fabled "Penis Transplant"...but generally speaking they've got to make the best with what they've got.

If you are one of the many women who are anti-foreskin or a man who has been shunned based off this alone, then here are some quick myth busters about foreskin:

1. It's dirty. It's not "dirty" or less hygienic. Many men have and should be taught how to clean UNDER their foreskin. Once done it is just (if not more) lickable as the next penis.
2. It makes sex difficult. It really won't get in the way. Once a man is erect the foreskin does this cool trick of rolling back so the penis can do it's intended job: pleasure you.
3. Less is more...wrong! Foreskin adds more skin to the penis, which is always a good thing! It also helps a lot when giving hand-jobs in giving you more to grab.
4. It means he's a heathen. Not true, though the Jewish did start the tradition of circumcision (but are slowly starting to move away from it), you really can't hold it against the guy as it wasn't his choice. Also primarily the fact that if you're seeing his penis you can't be all that innocent yourself =)
5. Doctors recommend it. On the contrary, in 1999 The American Academy of Pediatrics has actually taken a stand AGAINST circumcising stating that there is no real benefit to performing the surgery.
6. Being circumcised protects against AIDS and other STDs. Umm...who started this blatant lie? No, No, NO. Really no explanation is needed, except always, always, ALWAYS use protection.
7. Everyone else is circumcised. Actually the male circumcision rate worldwide is only 15% (but is still only 60% in the US). That's a lot of penis still with their natural jackets.
8. It's a painless process done when they are babies. Last time I checked infants could feel pain. The initial part of the process involves a forced separation of the foreskin, which is fused to the glans (head) in much the same way as a fingernail is joined to the finger. It was researched that circumcised male infants have an increased pain response in vaccinations 4 to 6 months later. Circumcision appears to lower the pain threshold.
9. It's just a small bit of skin, it won't matter if it's gone. The foreskin has three known functions: protective, immunological, and sexual. It contains about 10,000 highly specialized nerve endings and several feet of blood vessels. An adult male foreskin, if unfolded and spread out, would be about the size of index card. Some men circumcised in adulthood report a significant decrease in sexual pleasure and comfort because of the loss of sensitive nerve endings
10. ...and this one is my favorite: He'll masturbate more with foreskin. Hahahaha. He's male, he has a working penis, foreskin or not honey he's polishing off just as much as the next guy.

This all comes down to this, embrace the foreskin ladies! It's like a gift that has been wrapped perfectly just for you. And let's be honest...who doesn't like a present every now and then?

Could this be?

Today officially signifies the first day of my decision.

Yes, I have chosen a slave to consider training and beyond.

After months and months of looking I am glad that I have waited and was not swayed by empty promises, pretty faces, nice cars, or misguided servitude. Many things were considered in choosing my slave:

• Stats (age, height, appearance)
• Willingness
• Obedience
• Potential
• ...and most of all Desire (mine and the slave's)

I am confident that my new slave will not displease me. He was happier than I imagined he would be when I offered him the task and that in return made me happy!

He has the most beautiful eyes I have ever seen, a cute but mischievous smile, and he follows instructions with vigor. Maybe Collarme isn't such a bad site after all.

....good things await us.

And I was smiled upon...

I was beginning to think that I might have picked the wrong fetish to pursue...

My less than enthusiastic dealings with many of the men who have messaged me on Collarme was starting to take a toll on my optimistic outlook.

But then I discovered something....
The Video Chatrooms =)

I have found a great new past-time and and even better way to communicate with people (especially if locally) rather than sending random messages back and forth. I have met a lot of fun people who are interesting and cute too!

Then something even better happened...
I met someone tonight from the site.

He was exactly as he said he was (for once), and possibly more. He's very sweet, has his heart in the right place and more importantly he is very willing to serve this Mistress in any way I see fit. As much as that turns me on I am just excited nonetheless to have found someone who wasn't:

A) In another country
B) Over 35
C) Unattractive
D) Married
E) All of the above

I spoke with the bf tonight about it, before I meet with my potential slave, and he still stands by his decision that he is "okay" with anything I do in this realm. I'm very surprised because even though he, himself, is submissive in nature I thought he wouldn't agree to me having a slave or sub. But, alas he has been very supportive in his adventures into the BDSM world with me. I know he doesn't quite understand it and doesn't participate in it, but the fact that he lets me (well let's be honest no man lets me do anything!) practice and he's accepting of it and that's what really counts.

I will sleep easy tonight knowing that Friday I will see my potential slave again...