Feed the need

I imagine if vampires were real this must be what they feel like. This ebb and flow of urgency that runs thru them undetected by others.

I feel the urgency today. I feel the need to spank, bite, spit, slap. I feel the Dominant side in me raging against all that I portray today.

It is like a hunger inside me that I try to quiet when not needed. But I think last night has pushed me closer again. 

Time with the new bf is great. I love it! He touches me in such a way and surrenders at all the right moments. He knows what I want. He begged me to spit in his mouth last night but I declined. Several times. I know that if he had asked just once more I would've done it. I wanted to do it.

I love spitting in his mouth. I realize that others might think this is disgusting or "dirty" but theoretically speaking it's no different than french kissing. I see spitting in his mouth as the ultimate sign that I own him. It's not the collar, leash, or even the kneeling. It's him, taking what I want discarded from my mouth into himself. 

And the sound it makes as I spit into his eager, open, empty mouth...I'm swooning just thinking about it.

Days like these it feels hard to fight the urge to play out my BDSM side. But, we have agreed to take it slowly, even though we both miss the things we did in that realm.

Last night we fooled around. I grabbed and twisted and bit his nipples and he moaned in delight. I love the almost high-pitched moan he tries to contain when I bite or suck on his nipples. As he fucked me I spanked his ass. I also scratched all up and down is back as I reached orgasm.

Why do I like abusing his body so much? 

Is it because I know he will take it? 
Is it because I know he likes it? 
Is it because he verbally begs for what I physically want to give?
Is it because thru and thru I am just one kinky bitch?

When he is manly and takes my hand or walks ahead of me when we are out I get sexually aroused and chills run thru my body because I know in the bedroom he will be my bitch. He will beg for me to do unspeakable things to him...and he will like them.

I love that to the naked eye we are just a couple but behind closed doors he will be mine in any way I choose.

I am happy to be in a relationship with him now. I am focusing all of my emotional energy on him for once and it isn't half as hard as I thought it might be.

I cannot wait to see where this beautiful ebb and flow takes us...