It's not me, it's you

When do you get rest and relaxation in the scene when you're searching for someone?

As a dominant I often hold my breath after meeting someone new and taking them into my life. I never know if it will work out, what struggles we'll encounter, or how we'll actually mesh up together once we bring our relationship into reality.

Every relationship takes work and patience but for me personally, it's more risky when I take on a new submissive. I feel like it takes more work to find a committed play partner than it does to find a boyfriend or casual partner. If I wanted a straight up vanilla guy to date and go on dates or someone to see for a one-off with I'm confident that is easily obtained.

With a play partner it takes a little more time to work out logistics and find your footing. For me dominance and submission is a carefully anticipated dance. One leads and one follows. There will always be some toe-stepping until you and your partner learn each others moves but what happens when you are dancing the salsa and they are dancing ballroom?

There's nothing much to be done about it when your kinks don't compliment each other as well as you hoped or when things just don't work out. It's easy to sit thru baseball games when that's not really your thing but how do you convince him let you explore strap-on play if he's not interested? How can you enjoy doling out crave-worthy spankings when he's doesn't like pain, let alone exposing his bottom? It's easy to fake your way thru vanilla to get to the fun stuff I suppose, not so easy to fake being a submissive or dominant.

In the last 12 months I have played with more than 15 potentials! That's one new person a month I've been getting to know and they all seem to not work out for one reason or another. I like to think I've trained myself to be patient under the right circumstances but even that has a limit.

And short-lived yet completely full of unnecessary drama, my time with Mr. Dickless is over. 

It's a combination of things working against us not to mention namely, himself. I've said it before but it never hurts to say it again: giving up control is paramount...and difficult, but key to a successful D/s relationship. It's hard to take control from someone who holds it in their teeth like a rabid bull dog who's favorite bone you've tried to replace. And while I don't mind being aggressive to get what I want, I need to know that you want it too, otherwise we fall into that "Is this consensual?" gray area.

Gray is not a color that suits me.

Whimper once for yes, twice for more

It's only been a short time but Mr. Dickless and I have already had a few bumps in the road.

However, we're starting to stand on two good feet again. This week we dined out together and he invited me back to his place. Always a good sign in my book. It was there that we engaged in some extended tease and denial. It was the first time that we've done more than our usual virtual teasing. Tonight was a lot of firsts for us.

I knew that he was a bit nervous so I didn't want to rush too quickly into things. We started with a simple foot rub. He was very attentive to my needs all night and I believe his new mantra should be "Can I get you anything". Mr. Dickless doesn't have the outward appearance of a submissive let alone a cuckold. On the contrary in my opinion he's a rather tall, statuesque figure. He looks like he can definitely get tough when the time calls for it. So watching him pitter-patter around his own apartment wanting to wait on me hand and foot (rub) was endearing and flattering. Once we'd settled in a bit I decided to take a little charge.

"Let me see how you shaved" I said to him as I fingered his waistband.

He seemed obviously embarrassed. This coupled with the fact that I was now requiring him sit down when he pissed was playing a few tricks on his mind.

"I've never shaved off all my hair before...it feels strange." He nearly blushed when he said this.

"Well get use to it. I want you to be shaved all time. I want you to be..." I started.

"...your little bitch," he finished, taking the words from my mouth.

He pulled down his shorts and I inspected him with my hands being sure to ever-so-carefully get in a few strokes. His small penis stood at attention staring at me intently.

He moaned slightly. I stroked him for a few more minutes, drawing his excitement closer to the edge before slapping him on the balls to jolt him back to attention. And at one point in the evening he surprised me by requesting to try the chastity device I had brought along. For the most part we went on like this for a few hours. Me teasing him with my hand, him being shoved into my breasts to suckle on my nipples, and me telling him in detail all the things I wanted to do with other, more adequately equipped men.

"I want you so bad. Please Mistress, let me have you," he begged repeatedly.

"No." I answered coolly. I think he enjoys hearing me deny him almost as much as I enjoy doing so.

So far we have some established fantasies that we'd like to play out but we're still searching for the right guy for our first time partaking in actual cuckolding. We aren't the typical cuckold couple but we're finding our own fun as we go along.

In the meantime Mr. Dickless has been ordered not to come until mid-April. He will endure as much tease and denial as I can throw at him with my watchful eye. All to prove to me that he is devoted to our cause...his transformation into a complete cuck.