Give em' the finger

Some guys like a finger in the ass...some don't.

I've learned over the years never and I mean NEVER assume...it makes an ass...well never mind that pun is too easy.

But seriously, sometimes girls want to put things (mostly a finger or three) in a guy's ass.

Is it just me or are men generally much more uptight (again no pun intended haha) about putting things in their asses? Currently neither of my beaus are into this, that's fair, to each their own. However their logic falls short for me. Did I mention they thoroughly enjoy giving me anal and have no problem being on the other end? That seems like a double standard. And beyond any of that...they won't even TRY it before they decide they don't like it.

NEWSFLASH: A finger in the ass does not make you gay. Okay guys? Or bi, or any other number of ridiculous ideas you've made up in your mind. If someone has told you this or you have gotten this impression from media, then just put it aside. Sexual pleasure is not a plausible marker for determining homosexuality---if so, we'd all be gay!

At worst it makes you experimental. At best it means you know what you like and aren't afraid to enjoy yourself in the bedroom.

I am a whole-hearted advocate for trying everything at least once, yes even this. The science behind it all makes it too hard to argue against. There are a cluster of nerve endings in your anus that make stimulation to this area feel extremely pleasurable (I know from continued experience). Orgasms can even be heightened with a little back door play if timed right. Best of all there's no special toys or lube needed. Just a little finger play and you could be "ooh" and "ahh"ing more than you imagined. Just remember to clean your hands before and after for safety and tell your partner to also be as sanitary as possible before play.

Heterosexual assplay should be a fun experience. That's it really. A finger in the ass shouldn't be a pain in the ass. Don't over think it, just enjoy yourself.

And lighten up men, give it a try. Leave your inhibitions at the bedroom door not your back door...your significant other just might thank you.

Flirting: A fine art

I've often said that I believe flirting should be treated as a fine art. It is not something one can wander into with no experience, no clear objective, and certainly no quips on hand. For me whenI am flirted with it either goes into one of two categories: 1) Nice try bum. Next! or 2) Well what do we have here? Those are my only two mental reactions. One of them will lead to an equally flirtatious response from me the other...well...let's not strive for the other.

I learned at a very young age that flirting was a gateway action. Get that perfected and the possibilities were endless. I've been known to give men who may otherwise not have captured my attention a second look-over solely because I was attracted to their flirting technique.

And I'm sure anyone who has swapped racy emails, naughty pics, or even spent a few nights sexting knows that the build up a good flirting does for any actual sexual acts makes it all the more better.

I know not every guy is versed in the way of flirting, so I'm going to give you lacking men some quick tips to remember:

When You Least Expect It
Flirting can happen almost anywhere, so always bring your A game...or at least a solid B-. 

Timing Is Everything
Notice I said flirting can happen, almost anywhere, not everywhere. This means no flirting at funerals, just after a woman has left the bathroom (this always feels creepy), at interviews, religious ceremonies, while she's crying on your shoulder after a break-up, after a car accident, and anywhere else where there is a larger issue for your cosmic meeting. I personally know these are horrid locations because someone has tried to flirt with me at each one.

Don't Babble
If you lack any clever lines, just stick with the facts and tell her a little about yourself and your interests.

No Arm Waving Necessary
A little subtlety goes a long way. You don't need to be a complete ass to get a girl's attention. A nod, wink, cocked smile, or even shy glance could be the in you need. But choose only one of these and if it's a wink, only one wink, otherwise it appears as if you have tourettes or you think she is for rent for the night. 

Hands Off!
No touching unless invited to do so. I know many women feel violated when someone, especially a man, invades their personal space. She will give you clues if it's okay to make contact with her, such as her touching you first, her moving closer than necessary, shifting her weight in your direction, etc. When you get the signal be sure to touch her appropriately...this isn't the time for nipple tweaking.

Listen Carefully
Once you've got a woman's attention. Stay engaged and pay attention. If you are interested in something she says, ask her for more details. It's been proven that one of the top five traits the average woman wants in a partner is for them to be a good listener.

It's All In Your Head
Flirting is an attitude. If you're confident in your actions she be will too. Nothing says "You want me" like "I KNOW you want me."

Now get out there and sharpen those flirting skills fellas...and ladies, don't give them such a hard time if they stumble a little...you gotta kneel before you can beg.