We'll get along when you stop being dumb

As I logged into my Fetlife account today I saw that I had several messages waiting to be read.

Sometimes I dread the messages on that site, sometimes I look forward to them. After skimming thru I realized I had several "Oh-pick-me-please-Mistress-I'll-be-the-best-sub messages". These usually amuse me for several reasons.

I've decided to help you poor saps out. Here's some tips guys if you're writing a potential Mistress on Fetlife:

1. Make sure she is seeking a sub...writing a Mistress who is just looking for friendship in hopes of changing her mind just seems desperate, plus she's a woman who most likely knows what she wants.

2. Have a decent profile set-up. Nothing pisses me off more than a "man" who writes me promising endless submission but can't manage to put up one picture of himself (face or not) and a small paragraph telling about himself.

3. Don't just message her "hi mistress slave here in va seeking to meet [insert telephone number] slave _____". It's just not gonna happen honey. (Yes, that was an actual message to me)

4. Don't send a cut & paste form letter. She'll know and it's just not classy. If you can't take time to write her a small custom message, how do you plan to serve reliably?

5. Penis pictures on your profile are fine but just know it will seem like your head is in the wrong place. (See: your ass)

6. Don't lie. Claiming to have been "into BDSM my whole life" or "for more than 10 years" when you're only 25 definitely seems sketchy. Or saying you have tons of real-time experience when you don't will just tell on you later.

7. Are you 30-45 years her senior...yeah probably not a good match...but I know you guys just can't help trying haha.

8. If she's a Mistress/Domme and you're a Master/Dom...you're probably not what she's looking for. Comanding her to "be a good girl and write you back" will must assuredly make her want to stomp your balls and not in a good way.

9. Fetlife is a community. If you're only in groups to pick up women or check personal ads, this will probably reflect poorly on you.

10. Be ready for something real. If you have no intentions of ever formulating a real connection with her, then don't bother. BDSM is just as psychological as it is physical.

Above all...a little decency will go a long way. Good luck!

MonoPoly: Passing Go or Straight To Jail?

A lot of people are curious about my relationship status and how I maintain in general the relationships I am involved in. I've found that "MonoPoly" is a new buzz word that's been making it's way around the scene. After learning a bit more about it I suppose my lifestyle would fit into its category.

Currently I am in a MonoPoly relationship (which is not exclusive to BDSM). Meaning I have been fortunate enough to find a partner who understands my desire to include BDSM in my life, even if they do not necessarily share it. Therefore with his complete vanilla-ness and my extracurricular activities, I am openly poly with the people I choose to play with within the BDSM realm and he is mono because he is only is sexual with me. This is all with his consent as we have agreed on this as a couple. To be fair, he also has the option of obtaining another partner for play or whatever he chooses outside of myself, but that just really isn't his thing; though sometimes I wish it was.

This lifestyle isn't for everyone. There are many issues that are destructing factors including but not limited to honesty, trust, and boundaries. We spent many a night in the beginning discussing what we were comfortable with but most importantly we agreed to always talk to one another, about everything. Any questions, mixed feelings, thoughts, or fears, we'd keep an open ear and strive to never get angry at one another. So far, these tactics have worked for us. But each relationship is like a fingerprint in its uniqueness. It needs to be customized to what you and your partner are comfortable with. If you are thinking of becoming Poly I think it's important to ask yourself these three questions, as your partner will probably be wondering the same:

1. Why do you want to become Poly?

2. What will this improve? What could this hinder?

3. Will you still be happy if you cannot be in a Poly relationship?

Make sure you have more than a regurgitated answer that you've seen somewhere on a forum. Really, ask yourself these questions. This is a entirely different relationship dynamic that could prove to be truly uplifting or horribly home-wrecking for your relationship, not an imaginary one. There are real emotions and another person involved with your decision and if you can't answer these questions you probably shouldn't bring it up with your partner until you can. Once you can answer the questions, know that it might not be an easy road. But, anything worth having isn't easy, so if it's really important to you then be willing to put in the work to make it work.

I am lucky that I have found someone so open-minded and accepting who understands this is me. I am Poly, I am kinky, I am a Mistress. And even if we don't share all the same sexual desires, we do desire each other and that's what matters most.

Don't worry I'm the Captain of a motorboat

Earlier this week I attended a local BDSM club meeting with the sweet sub. Last minute plans entailed my inviting a close friend of mine as well and we were off.

Upon arriving, the sweet sub was as handsome as usual and dressed as a mild mannered frat boy (how can someone look so innocent but be so naughty?). We settled in as best we could in the tightly packed large group and began making the most of the happy hour.

We were "lucky" enough to sit by two older ladies who were polite enough to my friend and I. But, when given the opportunity to chat up the sweet sub, they went in for the kill! I've never seen cougars up close and personal but it was amusing at best. I made a few exchanges of phone numbers and email as well but was excited to know that many people assumed the sweet sub was mine. It may have been my "Don't fuck with me" look and whomever was within proximity of me it engulfed so they thought, "we better not fuck with him either" haha. But we made sure to tell people that we weren't together. He was free to roam and be mauled and pawed by all cougars alike.

If it sounds like I'm a bit jealous, I'm not, if anything I'm only jealous that he showed them his pink panties and I've yet to get a in-person show. It doesn't help that out of the men who gave me their numbers/emails, one was definitely NOT my type (think homeless chic), one was just too young (18 to be exact and he smokes and chews tobacco!), one was married but assured me his wife wouldn't mind him kneeling for me (uh huh...riiight), and one proclaimed if I ever needed a good motor-boating he would be free.

I can't help but giggle at the thought of me ever being so desperate I'd call that gentleman for a good motorboat session.

Ahh, men and their silly dreams.

One year older and hornier

Last week was my birthday and threw a big celebration as is tradition. It was a fun night filled with all my favorite things: costumes, laughs, and of course drinking.

Each year my friends struggle to get me the "perfect" gift. They call or text me trying to wrangle ideas from me, they attempt to trade ideas when I'm not around...they really do try.

But not one of them managed to get me the one thing I really wanted...

A nice submissive boy-toy for me to play with.

When blowing out the candles on my cake I really did think hard about such a boy, all wrapped up, nearly naked in some cute, slightly tight undies (or not!), topped off with a bow. Mmm!

I hope that it would look a lot like this and he'll take my birthday spankings...

 Happy Birthday to me!

Rant: You're just boring me

Last week I was speaking with a friend of mine who had a problem with my blog. She told me: I hate that you say we are mundane. Why do you do that? The "we" she is referring to are the non BDSM vanilla folks. What's interesting is that I have gotten this complainant before. Many people have a problem with my using of the word mundane.  

Let's make this simple: I call you mundane because you are boring.  

At least to me.

It's not meant in a derogatory way. In my mind a life that doesn't involve some form of kinkiness seems quite frankly...unappealing. It is one of the few reasons why I also think we are not all meant to be put into such boxes. Some people are fine with routine and the "mundane" things that vanilla relationships have to offer. But, honestly this regime just doesn't suit everyone and if we (non-vanilla) types were to be forced into such arrangements it would probably and usually does end badly.

For me, it doesn't really affect me whether or not if people are accepting of my choices in my personal life. It's refreshing that I find most kinksters feel the same. It's the vanilla folks that seem to be getting their granny panties in a bunch. Which leads me to believe it is similar to the mentality of someone who is very concerned about how they feel about themselves. They tend to focus mostly on what others think of them. This insecure behavior is unfortunate and I associate it as a sign of weakness. Part of what defines my dominant personality and Mistress-ness is that I am confident in myself. I don't give a flying fuck who thinks what of me or if I meet others standards. I only answer to myself and I only dance to the beat of my own drum.

So the question isn't why do I think you're mundane but more adequately: Why do you think you're mundane?

TMI Tuesday is back!

 

 I've got some free time, so I thought I'd help contribute to the revival of TMI Tuesday, if you haven't heard about how great it is...click that link above!

Franken-Toy

More and more I've been thinking about the various men I have met and been with throughout my life. Sometimes I find myself wishing I could take a small souvenir of them to build what I've dreamed in my mind as: Franken-Toy.

Franken-Toy would be my personal fuck toy. He would look, think, act, and do everything I wanted, sometimes without me having to say a word. Franken-Toy doesn't work, he doesn't have friends, he doesn't have hobbies, he is often seen not heard (if that's what I desire), and his sole purpose in life is to pleasure me. Oh yeah and he's all mine.

Let me give you the specifics of Franken-Toy (and just for the record making Franken-Toy from various men does not imply that I didn't like them for whom they were, or that I am currently desiring something different, just that my mind wanders late at night when I try to overturn the insomnia):

FRANKEN-TOY (From top to bottom then insides)

Has the hair of a surfer/model I dated in high school. This guy had jet black, thick hair that always tumbled in the most perfect way. It was extremely good for grabbing when he went down on me.

Borrows the eyes of my college professor whom I fucked (I already had an "A" in the class, he was just extra credit). He had the bluest eyes I have ever seen and they always looked friendly. They did that thing where they crinkle in the corners when he smiled...

Takes almost any nose of a guy I have dated. I have a thing for larger noses: think Ringo Starrish. Bonus points for it being pointy.

Shares a mouth from a one-night stand guy I met on Craigslist. He had full, plump, pink, very suckable lips...they were so hot I have almost forgotten the way his 10-inch cock felt inside me.

He's also taking the dimples of the local iHop waiter I recently encountered. Even though that waiter has many more assets to choose from...

..............down lower

He has the replica of the body of the bodybuilder I fooled around with. Just chest, arms, and legs. I hate bodybuilders and too much muscle in general but this guy was at the sweet spot before he got "too bulky". He was toned in all the right places and had beautiful abs.

The ass of a previous but recent sub is a must! Slightly tight but bouncy enough to spank and watch jiggle. Mmmm!

Let's take the feet from my first (and best friend). He is one of the few men I know who gets pedicures and takes care of his feet. I have a thing about feet and toes so whenever I see his I get excited because they are above average in cleanliness.

Ahh...now the most important part...his penis. I'm giving Franken-Toy the cock of my ex from a few years ago. I've been with a lot of men...a lot...but my ex had a stellar cock. It was not 8 inches (which I've read is the perfect length for most women) but it was about 7-7.5. It was pink, thick, uncut, and stayed rock hard for hours! He also always kept is cock oddly clean so I thoroughly enjoyed going down on him no matter when it was. When I told him he had the best cock I had ever had, I wasn't lying.

As for what I want his personality to be, I lied. I don't care what Franken-Toy wants. As I mentioned above, it's really all about serving me! If he's a good toy and listens to everything I say we'll get along just perfectly.

A collection of sorts

Last weekend seemed to be all about shopping and buying fun toys!

And on Sunday I met up with the sweet sub I talked about last entry but this time we met up at the mall to do some panty shopping. I've never been one for sissifying my sub but somehow the thought of this broad-shouldered beau in a pair of pink, tight panties really stirs something within me! As we riffled thru the store's baskets of clearance panties I was excited to watch him pick out underwear. It was an interesting insight into guys who wear these types of things. I teased him that he picked out more girly undies than I would've worn! But I guess if you're going wear women's clothing why not go all the way. The funniest thing to me was when we were checking out the cashier just assumed that the underwear was for me as she handed me the receipt even though he had paid...if only she knew!

He was gentleman throughout our shopping spree as we whisked from store to store where he ended up buying a cute french maid outfit but did not find anything worthy at the adult store.

All the shopping made me think of the things I already own that have made it throughout all my moves with me.  I have two toy boxes and this is mainly the "kinky" items not specifically BDSM related but still fun. So for curious minds, here are this Mistress' toys!

*Pictured from left to right: a Massage For Dummies mini book, KY His & Her Oils, Astroglide, Pasties, Cock rings, Edible body dust, Warming lubricant, Altoids, Sex dice, a Wireless Cock Ring, Cock sleeves, a Blindfold, Wireless nipple clamps, Flavored lubes, and some Sex coupons

This next box is mostly BDSM based. It might be my favorite! *Pictured from left to right: a CB-6000, Velcro adjustable leg-spreader, a Feather tickler, a Whip with metal ball chain tassles, Cyberskin-like dildo, Clothespins, Bondage tape, a Chain leash, Handcuffs, a Magic bullet, my Tie-Dye dildo, a Collar & leash, sleek Black dildo, a Red riding crop, another Feather tickler with tassles on one end, a Whip, my leather Paddle, a Slave bracelet, a Ball gag with mask, a Blindfold, a Flesh colored dildo, Ribbons, and a Pair of lacy gloves

These are the toys of my trade save for my corsets, heels, and such. I can't wait till I find a good little boy to start using all my fun stuff with again!


*Click pictures for a larger view

Two kinksters walk into a bar...

A few nights ago I went out to have drinks with someone I've been exclusively talking to online for about a year.

I knew that if we didn't meet in the next couple of weeks we probably never would. So we decided kinda spur of the moment to meet up at a bar. I was there a little bit early waiting for him when not one but two separate guys asked to buy me a drink, which I politely refused.

When my Fetlife friend finally came up I was shocked to see such a cute guy. I give people the benefit of the doubt and assume that like most internet users everyone is putting their best...er..picture forward. Therefore I was pleased to learn that not only was he adorable but he was normal and he only stared at my breasts a couple of times (he was such a sweetie).

We chatted about a few random things but my mind couldn't help wandering off when there was silence what he'd look like on his knees looking up at me with those big blue/green eyes of his. With me issuing commands while pulling swiftly on the leash around his neck, giving him a much needed spank occasionally.

My extremely naughty mind felt guilty because he did seem like such an innocent boy. But admittedly that just turns me on more to know that I am corrupting someone! So while sweet sub talked about a basketball game that was on, I imagined wrapping a ball gag around his mouth. Tsk tsk.

Is this what women usually get angry at men for doing? Is this what one would call "objectifying"? If so I think he'd be okay with being the object of my lust for a few hours.

So you wanna be in a moovie?

Would you be into doing a short adult movie?

That was the first text I woke up to a couple days ago. Here I was thinking that I was losing my edge, sexiness, and overall wild womanly ways; thinking I was being left out of all the fun. But, it seems I stand corrected.

It's funny that I got this message because just a month ago I was asked by a new plus-size fetish site if I would consider posing for their site. There's enough Mistress L to go around but I politely declined, due solely to the nature of my job and what affect that could have on it if that site was ever found out. The text from a Craigslist fuckbuddy from a year ago seemed less daunting, less public.

I decided to get some details on the matter but not before flirting endlessly with him. I haven't seen the guy in about 11 months, but he is a handsome fellow, with a cute voice, rugged but charming face, and is a bit of a tease. It doesn't hurt that he's slightly exotic (he's Egyptian) and hung like a horse, well a 10-inch horse that is.

Needless to say I was a bit excited about the offer. There wouldn't be any BDSM involved just good ol' sex and from what I know thus far, it's a friend of his and himself who have in their spare time been making amateur adult films with girls they know. It all seems harmless and fun and I am seriously contemplating partaking in their activities. I have nothing to lose...and it won't be like it's the first time I've ever been filmed!

What do you think my lovely readers: Am I being too wild and throwing caution to the wind or should I just enjoy the experience? Please cast your vote to the right by March 1st!