Rant: BDSM is just not that into you
This has been bugging me for quite some time: People who think using handcuffs or tying up their bf/gf once automatically means they're 'into" BDSM.
Get real.
I'm sorry, call me a bitch (it wouldn't be the first or last time) but I'm a bit of an elitist here. I think BDSM goes far beyond some cheap $5 handcuffs and loosely tying someone up. If anything this means you're flirting with the idea of being kinky.
Kinky ≠ BDSM.
To me, BDSM is 90% mindfuck, 10% props. Seeing a submissive on their knees does a lot more for me than tying them to a chair. Hearing the words "You own me" get me more wet than any pair of handcuffs ever have. For me, BDSM is all about the power exchange.
When did everyone decide to hop on the BDSM Express? You think because you saw Secretary or a few primetime shows with reference to the scene you have BDSM all figured out? If hear one more of my "friends" claim to be into BDSM without ever having experienced it...I think I will scream. I understand some people research, and talk, and plan, and plot before engaging in an activity and if I thought that any of the people throwing around the BDSM name had the wherewithal to actually follow thru I'd shut-up....but they don't. Hence my supreme need for a rant.
I promise not to think any less of you if you're not into BDSM, I can't say the same if you act like a poser...
7 comments:
I agree, a slap on the ass and a little light bondage isn't BDSM.
But BDSM is portrayed as trendy, dangerous and glamorous in the pop culture. So people are labeling themselves without any real understanding of what it means.
I also suspect many just want some sexy boots and cannot even imagine the training m is currently undergoing.
I think the definition of BDSM leaves a lot included. Handcuffs one time, no. It is my understanding it is a multi-layer acronym standing for B=bondage, DS=Dominant/Submissive, and SM=Sado/masochism. This includes a lot of ambiguity as to when one enters a portion of the lifestyle.
@Ms C: LOL! I can't imagine what these types of people would think if they even had a hint of what m is going thru!
@Subservien-husband: I agree. It's a gray area that a lot of people feel the need to "fill-in" themselves.
I'm sorry that whatever some of us do doesn't meet your high standards.
Whatever happened to each his own?
I think a lot consider it 'trendy' now to say they are into BDSM. I have mixed feelings about this. One the one hand, I agree with you in that they say they are into it but many have no real idea of what it is beyond the kinky sex aspect.
On the other hand, I am happy that society is becoming more accepting of alternate sexual needs and desires.
BDSM is becoming more mainstream, and that will come with pros and cons. Most television representations I have seen have appalled me- shows like CSI that seem to imply that everyone into BDSM is into heavy almost-lethal play.
It will take time for people to learn that BDSM is more than kink. Thinking back to the past, when homosexuals were just starting to come out of the closet, many people considered them to be people who would have sex with many different partners indiscriminately, rather than loving, caring people who had emotional attachments to their partners.
I hope that in the future people will become more aware of BDSM and what it means. It would make me proud if my husband could go out in public wearing his collar and have it seen as just what it is- something as symbolic as a wedding ring, and not judge us as kinksters. : )
I agree, BDSM is more about the mind then about what toys your doing it with.
it may look like cheap but mind you, it tops The Ultimate Man’s Sex CheckList.
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