Blowjob: It's not always better than nojob

I had an interesting conversation last week via email where a friend of mine mentioned that he was happy to receive a blowjob after a long drought of

sex. He only had one complainant...it was a bad blowjob.

Every woman who takes the liberty of going down on a man thinks that her technique needs no work. That you, the man, should be grateful that she even went down on you. Unfortunately I have news for you ladies, you could probably use some much needed pointers. Some of these I've mentioned briefly before but this will more in depth.

So let's dive in:

FACT

Blowjobs are a lot a work but can still be fun.

FACT

Going down on your man is still illegal in 15 states, so treasure your naughty actions.

FACT

Not all women were created equal, sorry.

Now for the fun stuff. Basically a blowjob consist of two main techniques (both of which can be built upon), the suck-swallow and the deep throat. The suck-swallow is the easier of the two and the standard go-to but just because it's easier you shouldn't be giving him a yawn fest.

Remember these simple things when going down on a man:

LADIES

Breathe!

Since your mouth will be full during this activity remember to breathe thru your nose. It'll help you from gagging and needing to take frequent stops

Use Your Hands

Don't just hang your hands at your side during a bj, use those extra tools to help stimulate him in all the right places. But remember don't grab his balls too hard (unless he's into that). I try to stick to a "rolling" motion as if I were rolling out small balls of dough.

Pay Him Lip Service

It is a blowjob but don't forget to use those lips of yours for sucking, nibbling, and of course any tongue action you can provide. This will help keep him going while you give your jaw a break.

Get Comfy

Make sure you're in a position that gives you complete access to everything you want to touch without losing your balance. Being on your knees can be a drag after awhile so perhaps put a pillow under you.

Be Creative

Blowjobs are wonderful on their own...but if you want to give him something he'll be sure to remember you can try different things to enhance his experience. Ice cubs, humming with him your mouth, an Altoid. Try different things and see what he likes.

For the ladies that want to attempt deep throating beware: Not all women are created equal. Meaning, not all women have the ability to deep throat. The main technique of taking a cock deep is to suppress your gag reflex. If you're unable to do this you will suck, but not literally...literally you will gag. And honestly, that's not attractive. If you really insist on learning you can practice on a banana (don't be upset if you don't get it right away nor if you're just unable to do it) or you can cheat with this trick: while going as deep as you can on him, use your hand on the shaft to simulate an extended mouth. He probably won't even notice as he'll be in pure bliss.

And men, don't think you got off so easy. If you want a blowjob don't make it difficult for us ladies. Sometimes you are your own demises. Be courteous and follow these tips:

GENTLEMEN
Don't Hold Her Head

We are going as deep as we want to. Any head pushing makes you look like an ass, unless of course she places your hand on the back of her head, then gently push her deeper. If she resist, let up.

Groom, Groom, Groom

Tame the jungle that is your pubic hair. I hate swallowing a "furball" as I'm enjoying giving a good bj. It can turn her off or worse cause us to instinctively chew to get it out. Ouch!

Be Squeaky Clean

I shouldn't need to point this out, but after seeing guy after guy forget this important rule...WASH YOUR COCK! If it smells funny, is sticky, or extra dry looking...I'm probably going to head in the other direction (no pun intended). Oh, and don't forget under those balls!

Announce Your Arrival

Never cum in a woman's mouth without asking her. Period. I know you all get caught up in the moment but when you feel yourself getting close just say so. This isn't a porn. Also, it'll give her the option of pulling away or taking it like a champ.

Now everyone, go out and have fun sucking someone off.

And for the ultra considerate studs, here's a recipe of my own that even you're sure to love, to give you that extra sweet taste:

Miss L's Super Spunk Smoothie

1 cup pineapple, fresh or canned
1 banana, frozen
1 cup apple juice
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 TBS honey
Optional ingredients: 1 raw egg white, 2 TBS wheat germ, 2 TBS flax seed, 1 shot wheat-grass juice

Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth. 

Drink immediately. 

Repeat daily for best results. 

Takes about one week to go into effect.

Your new favorite spot

I was sure that taking the birth control again would suppress my ever-constant libido as it did before but luckily there seems to be no sign of that.

I was feeling slightly tired last night when we crawled into bed but once I made the new bf strip down that feeling was quickly replaced by friskiness. I made him bend over my knee to receive spankings and his cock swelled with each slap.

"Thank you Mistress," he said without being prompted. This fueled me even more as I proceeded to shove him down on the bed.

"Stroke your cock now!" I said loudly.

He grabbed a hold of his penis for dear life and stroked.

"Faster."

"Harder."

"Slower," I issued commands swiftly and watched him obey carefully.

Occasionally I would lean down in the middle of him stroking to lick or suck the top of his cock causing him to groan in pleasure.

I pushed his hand aside and positioned him inside of my now very wet pussy and began to ride him fast and deep. I held his wrists above his head as I leaned down mid-ride to bite the flesh between his arm and neck. He bucked his hips as if he wanted me to stop but I continued to ride him even harder now.

"Please Mistress, please stop, I'm close" he begged. I lifted off of him.

"That's one." I stated. "Tonight you are only allowed to ask me to stop because you are close to coming three times, after that I will not stop." I continued.

"But...," he begin.

"Use your two stops wisely because you know what will happen when you ask me the third time?" I said wickedly interrupting him.

"Whatever you want Mistress," he said through deep breaths.

"Yes, whatever I want, and I do not want you to come, so you better get some control," I looked at him and said as I begin stroking his cock myself. Afterward he got behind me on command and begin to pump away, I could feel his balls slapping against the back of my pussy but as he started slowing down I wouldn't stop grinding my ass into him.

"Mistress, may I stop please? I am very close," he said after a few rounds like this.

"No."

"But Mistress, please I do not want to come because you do not want me to come," he stated.

I wiggled my ass a little more before sliding off his cock, which was now covered in my juices.

"Thank you Mistress," he said.

I proceeded to make him masturbate for me again and got out my riding crop to help steady him along. Then I switched up to going down on him. It was here he asked for his last "stop" to which I obliged.

"No more stops now," I said with a grin.

I rode him some more but could tell he was close. "Get my dildo since you can't be trusted," I ordered him.

"Yes Mistress," he replied.

He came back with my favorite 10-incher and proceeded to give me four orgasms with my good coaching (plus the one from a previous night at his place). The bed was soaking wet under me.

"You're such a good boy!" I complimented him.

"Now turn over on your stomach," I said. He did as he was told. I pressed his face into the wet spot, holding his hair tightly as I spanked him.

"What does that smell like?" I asked him.

"I smells good Mistress, it smells like your pussy." He responded.

This was the answer I wanted to hear. I swatted him a few more times before dipping his cock in cold water (I had told him no more touching but he just couldn't help himself), then I got a towel to put down on the bed.

"Where do you want me to lay Mistress? Here?" he said as he pointed to the towel I'd laid down on the wet spot.

"Yes, of course" I laughed lightly and said. "I'm not laying there."

"I would love to lay in your wet spot Mistress," he smiled and said before curling up next to me and falling to sleep.

As the counter stands now that's 9 down, 15 to go!

Kneepads? Check!

I've been on my knees a lot this weekend. And yes, get your mind in the gutter. This weekend the bf came down from out of state and it was his birthday. Definitely occasion to get on my knees and give him mind-exploding blowjobs (he'd describe it like that if he could speak while getting them). Since I first held a cock in my mouth I knew there would be no going back. Life would not be the same ever again now that I knew what a "blowjob" was. That was when I was 15 and I had several initial questions: -Why don't they call it a suckjob since that's what you're really doing? -What is lockjaw? -Should I touch the balls? -How do I avoid drooling? -What are some techniques for teeth placement? It's funny to think back to a time when I really analyzed blowjobs. But this is how I am. When I find something I enjoy, I try my hardest to perfect it. 

So I practiced often. First on inanimate objects that couldn't give any feedback, good or bad, then I moved on to my boyfriends. Most of them said I was doing fine...but I wanted to be "amazing", "fucking hot", and "don't stop". I quickly learned that the more cock I sucked the better I got at it. And most important I really really enjoyed having a dick in my mouth. In high school I was a cheerleader. I was popular. I had no trouble finding willing suckees. I sucked dicks like lollipops! I often had guys comment on my DSL and it all went uphill from there.  

But I noticed that guys started to get lazy on their end. Men, if a woman is willing to suck your cock (and enjoy it!) then remember these simple three rules: 1. Wash, wash, wash! Clean your cock! We'd rather taste soap than dick cheese 2. Don't put your hand on the back of heads unless asked. We know which direction to go 3. Tell us BEFORE you come! Don't try the "Oops it just happened" crap. It'll be your first and last blowjob guaranteed I guess I'm just saying all and all to this day there's nothing I find more erotic than sucking a nice cock for 25 minutes or more. So that was my present to the bf. If you're reading this...Happy Birthday babe! And Happy Birthday to the other birthdays this weekend also!