40 Days and 40 Nights

"What's the longest you've ever gone without cumming?" 
"Erm, it was 8 days Mistress." I said nervously into the phone. 
'Hahahahahaha!" She laughed. "Oh puppy, we will do better" 

This was one of the first questions Mistress asked me when she first took me under her care, and placed me in her 126 Day Training regime. One of the initial rules I was given was that my cock, was now Mistress's cock. She owned it, and it was now her property, not mine. She told me that I was not allowed to touch her property anymore, except with her permission. 

This is something I had tried before online, but never with the level of commitment from a Domme that Mistress was showing me, and this made it easier to obey and follow. Initially Mistress told me that I would be allowed to cum after 13 days, unless I messed up, and then that date would be moved further back. 

The first week was extremely difficult! Being in this new relationship with an incredible Domme, meant I was in a constant state of arousal. Mistress kept getting me to repeat the phrase to her 'I am a good boy, I will not touch Mistresses cock,' whenever she thought I was wavering to temptation.

The first time my date got moved was after Mistress had ordered her puppy to buy some kinky toys. When they arrived I was given a choice. I could open them now, but the 13 days would reset, or open them later and it would stay the same. Unfortunately (very much like my Mistress) patience is not a strong point of mine. I begged Mistress to let me open my new toys.

She laughed, "Go ahead puppy," as the 13 days mentally and verbally reset. 

Once the toys were open Mistress teased her puppy hard, bringing me just to the point of orgasm, where I was sure I would be released.

"Stop playing with my property and put your toys away baby," she told me over the cam.

This kind of denial was something I had not experienced before and something that excited me a lot. It would have been so easy to 'finish the job' once our cams were off, but I never wanted to. The relationship I felt I was building with this person was too strong to throw away. Mistress is experienced, Mistress knows how to read people, and Mistress was very much in my naughty, slutty head. I knew if I did cum, she would know, she would expose it, and make me confess every detail to her. 

As the days went on, like a stupid slutty pup, I would try to tease Mistress on cam. I would put my body in certain ways on cam, or walk in a certain way. This would never end well for me...at all. Mistress could tease me back so much harder, in so much less obvious, slutty ways. There have been several times I have been twitching at the end of the phone, begging to touch her property. Mistress allowed me a few times to touch her property as she watched, but the deal then became, that I would not be allowed to cum for 40 days and 40 nights. This seemed like such a long time and if this had of been the initial challenge instead of 13, I do not believe I could have done it. Mistress made it clear how proud she would be if i could do it and that after that time she would fully control her property. Of course like everything else she wanted, she convinced me and by the end of one of our many late night phone calls, I was begging to kept locked up for 40 days. 

During these 40 days, with Mistress's permission, I booked a flight from England to America to go and see her. This has made me more excited than I have been for a long time, and I think it has had a similar effect on Mistress too. Mistress told me she had been thinking about making me wait till I arrived to her before release and she wanted to know my thoughts. Mistress is very fair and did give me an option, as she had previously said that I would be allowed out after 40 days. Instantly though I begged her for this. I figured if I could do 40 days, an extra 2 weeks couldn't be that bad, if it meant I could be with her at the end time in chastity. As I type this I am 42 days without having voluntarily cum once, and I look forward to reaching the 50 mark and then soon after getting to Mistress.

I do feel that this time spent is chastity is my best achievement as a submissive to date and I do only have Mistress to thank for that. She has made me so desperate to submit and please her, that I have wanted to deny myself for her sole pleasure. I look forward to getting to her, but not for release, just so i can be hers. And I know in the back of my mind that any bad behavior upon my arrival could mean that Mistress coould decide her puppy can wait just a little longer....

Edited by Natali Noir

A trade

This week I turned my online BDSM profiles to inactive.

It's that time again where I must step back and take a break from the scene and re-evaluate myself and my surroundings.

I've been finding it increasingly difficult for me to tolerate the "submissive" men who approach me (on and offline) who are clearly outside of my ideal standards.

In the same respect I have found it even more so lacking in finding someone who does fit within that spectrum The prospects I have seem to be entertaining are sharing a common problem with me being in a vanilla relationship---which hasn't been nearly as much of a problem before this year.

It has made me ponder if the shoe were on the other foot how would I feel? When my last play partner had a girlfriend she wasn't vanilla and I was fine with their relationship as long as she didn't encroach on what I deemed "my" territory. Is this a territorial issue?

I've asked the submissive men what about my vanilla relationship is a problem for them and they are never quite able to put it into words. This in turns leads to me wonder if this is yet another excuse to hinder them from going thru with their BDSM desires or if there really is an issue for them, my being attached.

This puts me in quite the predicament---would I ever give up my relationship for BDSM or give up BDSM for my relationship?

The twilight zone

After my trip to London I feel a bit empty. Aside from my personal issues while there my scene experience was great...too great in fact. It's made me feel as if the scene in this area is not where I belong.

When I was overseas it was like a parallel universe where plus size dominant women were in high demand but low supply. My American accent was charming and an instant conversation starter and any British accents were added bonus points for me. I got to attend three fetish events in the week that I was there and while I didn't get to know "everyone" I felt as if the crowd was much more welcoming than in the Metro DC area, which is a shame...because this is where I live.

I also got to meet with five potential submissives, only one of who I had actually chatted with online. The previous guys all backed out in one form or another---so I guess they have that in common with the American men as well. But the gents I did meet while there were a total delight and needed little to no coaching on my part to be submissive toward me. It was amusing leading one guy around by his belt buckle in the busy streets of London as we did get a few odd looks haha.

I know that I don't go out in the Metro DC scene anymore because it is a bit of a headache with the social politics (two groups are vying for attention and hold their festives on the same night every month), the influx of Pro Dommes at every event trying to drum up business, and the general clique feel of things. It seems to be all in "who you know" and "not what you like" in this area.

I've been dreading admitting this because I'm not sure if it was a mix of the travel bug (i.e. new place = blinders, foreign country, etc) or if it really is as black and white as it appears from my end. I've been back two months now and still, like a steady, annoying, drip from a leaky ceiling the men contacting me here are not within my criteria. The fact that many of them don't take the time to read a few simple words on a profile that states what I'm looking for in bullet format really irks the shit out of me! I find myself more angry at the fact that they blatantly ignore my wishes to write me promising how devotedly submissive they are and how well they follow instructions than the actual messages themselves.

*Sigh*  So the question remains, "Where are all the good male DC submissives?"

Birthday wishes (Part 2)

I had invited quiet sub, I knew he was coming...I just wasn't prepared for it. We had some good sessions but then things just sort of dissolved with our work schedules and my lack of initiative and the times we had seen each other since then had been in vanilla settings.

So while prepping drinks in the kitchen, when I caught a glimpse of a cute, skinny, white boy with long hair coming thru my front door, it didn't dawn on me that it was quiet sub...even though he had told me he had grown his hair out.

There's no other way to say it: He looked completely and utterly fuckable!

Instantly I was happy I had asked him earlier in the week to let me give him some of my birthday spankings, to which he had happily agreed stating, "Whatever the birthday girl wants."

If there's one thing I miss about hanging out with quiet sub it's that he likes to have a good time. And by good time, I mean that we can drink together and get a little wild. He greeted me with a hug and I greeted him with a drink. He's much more relaxed when he drinks and I wanted him to be all relaxed and ready to receive my spankings.

We mingled at the party but kept stealing moments in the corner of random body gropings, intense looks, and bedroom eyes.

I pulled my other sub aside and said, "I want to give you my spankings with quiet sub, is that okay?"
 
"Of course! If that's what you want Miss L," he responded smiling.

I slunk over to quiet sub and pressed him up against my hallway wall lightly, carefully placing my body just close enough to make him feel my body heat. I could feel his heart beating against my breasts and his breath was hot with liquor.

"Are you still okay with me giving you spankings with my other sub?" I asked half expecting him to veto the idea at the last chance.

He thought for a brief moment and said smiling, "Yes, it's fine, as long as you're still doing the spanking."

Shortly thereafter I told the other sub to go to bed room and wait for me there and then I told quiet sub the same minutes later, staggering their entrances.

I stayed back in the midst of the party a few minutes more (just to make them wait) and then I walked back to my bedroom, opening the door to each of them standing at attention. I locked the door swiftly behind me, the alcohol coursing thru me had shifted my aggressive gear even higher than usual. My mind raced with all the things I could do with not one but two willing submissives. 

But I needed to focus on the task at hand.

"So are you two ready for your spankings?" I asked mischievously grinning slyly.

"Yes Miss L" both said aloud.

I directed them to remove their pants and to get on their hands and knees facing away from me.

If I wasn't excited before, this moment was when it hit me: Two adorable subbie boys were waiting to be spanked by me, bottoms in the air just screaming be touched. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed quiet sub's perfectly round cheeks.

I made the other sub look as well to confirm that it was a great ass.

"You're right Miss L, he does have a great ass," he said to me directly. I nodded and pushed him back down with a smile. Objectifying men the way they sometimes do to women makes me smile if only for the mere fun in turning the tables.

I grabbed Bianaca, couldn't leave her out of the festivities, and paddled the other sub's bottom for a few slaps. He moaned with his head down. Then I moved to quiet sub and did the same. They both arched their backs and pushed their asses closer to me, wanting more. I switched to my hands taking turns, spanking one while teasing the others' balls. They moaned and groaned in pleasure. Inside the bedroom it sounded like a full on mini-orgy.

I couldn't let my other vanilla guests hear what was going on so I made quiet sub kneel on his knees and face me while the other submissive remained on all fours.

"You are so fucking hot. Do you miss me spanking you?" I asked quiet sub, grabbing a handful of his newly long hair forcing him to look up at me.

"Yes Miss L I do," he said in shallow breaths.

I reached down to feel his growing cock and then I spanked the other sub who was on my left side.

I squeezed quiet sub's nipples and he let out a tiny noise that sounded like a deflating balloon.

"Do you want to kiss me?" I asked him.

He nodded and I grabbed his hair again and planted my luscious lips to his. He tasted like the tequila we had taken a shot of earlier. He was quick to give me his tongue and we made out briefly while I pinched and grabbed the other sub's ass with my free hand. There's an intensity between quiet sub and I sometimes, a carnal-ness that takes over when we focus on each other but I didn't want to leave my other sub out.

"Spank him!" I commanded quiet sub pointing to the sub's bottom.

He lifted his hand back and swatted at his bottom landing a firm but not heavy smack.

I could tell the spankee was enjoying this as I knew he enjoyed being spanked also by men with his bi-curious tendencies.

Throughout the night I played a little more in bed with the other submissive, I teased him endlessly and promised he could orgasm the following day with a dildo in his ass (which he did) and he thanked me for letting him have the honor of sharing my bed.

Quiet sub and I played a bit more the next morning as well and I can honestly say with two blowjobs, four spankings, being fingered, having my nipples sucked, watching someone orgasm to my pictures, and fucking a sub with a dildo, this was one of the best birthday I've had in ages.

How can I possibly top this next year?!

I say tomato...

In the past I've said that online based domination and D/s relationships were not my cup of tea. However with my trip looming on the horizon communicating via online thru emails, web cam, and instant messaging is the only feasible way to get to know anyone.

In addition to a few contacts I already had I've began talking to an array of interesting gentlemen; 4 submissives, and two switches.

I hate to be so rashly observant but in my contacts with the British men has been much more pleasant than with the guys here. They are polite, courteous, witty, and just all around a pleasure to chat with. Even when sending the inappropriate penis picture to me the sender politely apologized for his rudeness haha. That's not to say there aren't any guys here who possess those exact characteristics it's just I haven't been experiencing that online.

It has been an interesting way to flex my creative ability in thinking of ways to show my domination while I'm 3,600 miles away. Explicitly explaining the tease and tantalization that I want to put them thru, sharing naughty pictures, and just plainly getting to know them has seemed to work well thus far. 

I'm hoping that they will live up to their online identities and by live up to I mean follow thru on our loose plans to meet up. I've promised myself that I am going to make more of an effort to take part in the local scene when I get that than I do here. I'm going in with an open mind and a desire to explore possibilities.

Is that a banana in your pocket...

..Or are you just happy to see me?

I love it when the guys I chat with online send me requested sweet nothings.

It reads: Miss L <3 All for You

There's nothing quite like seeing your name written on a nice hard cock, oozing with a warm load. Gives me fuzzies inside. I must be sure to return his request as well.

No harm no foul

"Hunting" season is officially over. I wish I could say I was sad to see it go but I am exhausted from my interview-esque dating schedule. I'm happy to be able to relax and focus on myself for a bit and with the holiday months just around the corner it all works out.

And it wasn't all bad, I got to meet lots of subs and weeded out the bullshitters. There are a few subs I'm still chatting with but haven't met who hopefully I'll get to meet in person soon...I'm just not meeting any new subs.

I'll spend this off-time making some new friends, further fine-tuning my fetishes, and as always continuing my research on the community.

I was looking over an older entry at the fetishes I wanted to try and it's interesting to see what I've experienced in just a year.

Objectification

The sweet youngling (newly 19) who begged for me to just use him as I saw fit for the day. To not treat him as a person, to objectify him. Giving into something I've been dying to try was easy. As soon as I arrived at his house I made him carry my shoes in his mouth and proceeded to use him as a table for my laptop (with him laying across my lap), a footstool that I tapped to the music playing on my iPod, and a table where I sat a glass of wine and a bowl of soup and ate while I watched a movie. He was splendid and didn't spill a drop. Afterward he said he really felt like he was an object as I had little to no regard for any spills, hot items, or uncomfortableness that I imposed on him.

Mummification

An older recently divorced male approached me in the area. We talked over dinner and he confessed the reason he had so eagerly sought to meet with me was because not only had his marriage fallen apart due to his and his wife's view on sexuality but it was also because of his desires which included being mummified for a full day. His dream was to practice a wife led marriage (which she wouldn't agree to). It would mean all the more if it were to entail someone exactly opposite of his wife who was a meek, pale, boyishly shaped housewife. "I wanted someone who could eat my wife for breakfast", he said blushing. As for me I happen to be beautifully brown, wide hips, full breasted, completely dominant and had no problem with wrapping him up in industrial size saran wrap and leaving him under the glass table as I sat in his living room reading a book. Occasionally I'd press on his balls with my newly purchased boots just to hear him moan, sit on his snugly wrapped face; covering his only source of breathing, or all together ignore his pleas to be released (which was something we discussed beforehand). It was quite an experience and I'm assuming by his constant plastic wrapped erection throughout the ordeal he thought so as well.

Panty Sniffing

Usually I'm pretty protective of my undergarments. Even for submissives, I don't trust them to take care of them or not to do dirty things to them as I have often caught a few engaging in such behavior. But I started thinking of it not so much as something I need to be protective of but just another extension of my womanly power over men. Being a person who is highly turned on by certain smells I thought I'd give this a try. I went to the gym and did my daily routine before meeting a sub from Craigslist for drinks. He said he wanted to pay for my panties (I declined) but he was a handsome, unsuspecting chap who was wonderful to chat with. He nearly got on his knees at the bar we were at when I said I wouldn't give him my undies. I toyed with him telling him that perhaps the next time we met I would. Little did he know I had all intentions of giving him my slightly sweaty panties. When he went up to go to the bathroom, I slipped them off under the table (un-noticed I hope!) and stuffed them into his jacket pocket. Shortly after I stated I had to run but I wanted him to get on webcam chat with me in about 2 hours, to which he happily agreed, especially if it meant he could prove himself to me for my underwear next visit. Once we got on chat, I gave him a few commands (seeing a man on his knees never gets old!) and then I instructed him to go retrieve the jacket he'd worn to drinks. He was pretty perplexed but did as he was told. When I revealed my surprise to him, he started to pre-cum instantly. Honestly, there's nothing like seeing a man's dick drool for you. Upon sniffing my panties he begged to masturbate for me. I allowed him to do so as long as he came on my underwear and licked up his come. He did so without argument. I was definitely surprised by his intense response to my panties and even more surprised when he complimented my womanly smell as "earthy and fresh" lol.

This all makes me want to try even more things I'm curious about as so far all of my trials have been very insightful and highly erotic. Once hunting season is back on the fresh meat better watch out!

Things I am interested in have generally stayed the same but here's my updated version of the other list:

Fetishes I am curious about and/or want to try 

Red= No longer want to try

Blue= Newly added

• Body painting
• Branding
• Business suits
• Latex
• Pet play
• Chains
• Feet on face
• Fisting
• Hypnosis
• Human dolls
• Kidnapping
• Impact play
• Mummification
• Objectification
• Panty sniffing
• Pegging/Strap-Ons
• Caging/Confinment
• Prostate massage
• Queening
• Rimming
• Gang bangs
• Spreader bars
• Spitting
• Water bondage

So many wonderful things to try...where shall a Mistress start?

A hard day's night

I've had an interesting past couple of weeks. I've been really trying to get out and meet some new people, subs, switches, CDs, even some Doms.

I decided to send a cutesy CD I've admired online a message, just asking if she'd like to have drinks sometime. To my surprise she agreed to almost immediately. We decided on a local bar but she got lost on the way and I used my super GPS skills to guide her to where I was. We just happened to be near a secluded pasture that has a water park attached. Of course since it was late at night it was closed but that didn't stop us from hopping the fence and enjoying a little after-hours fun in the park. We rode all the slides and even got in the wading area of the pool. It was not what I had expected of the night but was fun all the same.

A little later in the week I met up with a young yet ambitious switch who happens to be a nurse. Nurse sub met up at the bookstore where I was having a discussion with some friends. He was very friendly and pretty normal (which is always a relief). We had almost gotten thru the night with us just chatting as friends when I jokingly chided him for wearing the same color as me. He played along and apologized promising next time to ask for permission to match. My stomach did a little flip flop with excitement. A few days later we went out for dinner together and he was just as friendly. I think he's a nice person but worry how about how much time he has to devote to a demanding Miss such as myself, as he is a bit of a workaholic.

I had a mid-week dinner planned with a sub who sounded spot-on. But, he was promising me the moon and the stars and we'd only been talking for a few weeks online and had yet to meet face to face. I'm a firm believer that it's easy to be anyone you want online, the true test is how you're able to transcend that into reality when you meet someone. But something didn't sit quite right with me about him, so I was anxious to meet him and see for myself what he was like and what do you know...he stood me up! Yes, even a I get stood up. I tried to give him a second chance (even though I was livid) but he basically ignored me. I can only chuckle when I think that it his lost, not mine. This was definitely a case of it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Sweet sub heard about me being stood up and offered to hang out with me the following night. I think he was trying cheer me up, which he did. I finally invited him over (for the first time) and he modeled some underwear he had for me. Yes ladies and gents, it's only taken nearly 2 years but I finally got to see him in his undies. He really does have a nice ass for showing off panties. When we met up for drinks last night he expressed to me that he'd be interested in forced oral on another male. While I'm usually not really that into two guys (there's no room for me there!), the thought of his adorable mouth wrapped around a hard cock definitely got me thinking. The more I learn about sweet sub the more I like. It doesn't hurt that he has such a innocent look to him but I know all the naughty things he wants to do!

Now I'm off to New York for a week to see what kind of trouble I can get into in the Big Apple. 

Ask Miss a stupid question, you know you want to...

I wanted to thank everyone who participated in "Ask A Stupid Question Day", and apologize for the lateness. I didn't think you all would really get into it but you did. Some were sexy...some were downright dirty! But, as promised here's a few selected of the questions asked:

Do you sing in the shower?

Sometimes I do sing in the shower, usually to pop songs or show tunes lol.

Have you ever swallowed cum?

Yep, I'm avid believer in swallowing not spitting, unless it's funky spunk...then just walk away, actually run.

What's your worst fashion accessory?

Hmm, I usually don't care what's stylish and make my own statement but even I have to admit that my shirt proclaiming: "For rent by the hour" is a little more forward than I like sometimes haha.

Do you have a favorite sex position?

Definitely! Doggie-style is my favorite. This is even hotter in the mirror over my bed.

Do you believe in aliens?

It'd be silly to think we were the only intelligent life-forms in the solar system.

How many of your submissives have you had feelings for?

Once you get into the swing of things with sessions or collaring someone it is hard to remain completely in role at all times. For me I only choose long-term subs if I have an emotional or extremely sexually-charged connection with them. If that applies, I can't help but start to care about them, even if it is only as a good friend.

What is your ideal Thanksgiving dinner?

This is one of my favorite holidays. Dinner wise: Stuffing, cranberry sauce (from the can!), mac & cheese, green bean casserole, mash potatoes, turkey and ham, pumpkin pie, pineapple slices, spinach, and cheddar biscuits. Mmm, I'm making myself hungry.

If you could do anything to one sub you've mentioned in your blog, who would it be and what would you do?

This is kinda a trick question haha. I haven't introduced all the subs I've met into my blog yet. But I have always enjoyed domesticating a sub for my use. I would love a full day where I worked and my sub just did whatever he was told to do. That could be from massaging my feet, to mopping, to grocery shopping, and then letting me use him as a footstool, all while wearing whatever I have decided will make him appealing to me. I find it completely sexy when a submissive does what he's asked and with a very genuine "Yes Ma'am" in response.

Do you believe the moon landing was a hoax?

I've often wondered because of its convenient timing and some of the facts not adding up. Our government hiding things or falsifying events for the general public is nothing new.

As a Mistress, do you ever get tired of being in charge?

Absolutely not. I love making decisions in life or others lives, even it's just to tell the other person that they must make a decision. My creativeness is what keeps me from getting board with BDSM.

What's one guilty pleasure of yours (non-sexual)?

It's gotta be reality television. I can really get sucked into their carnival-esque lives sometimes!

Do you ever hurt your hand when you're spanking someone?

Yes. Haha, sometimes I wonder who's really getting the inflicting punishment.

I like your blog when it's sexy, why did you do this dumb question thing?

Just to annoy you haha but seriously, there'll be more sexy things this week so sit tight.

Under Mistress L's Spell

Mistress L gives me the look that says, "Sit down and shut up." I'm already doing that but I still feel scolded when she sashays by in nothing but a pair of lacy black panties and a matching bra, holding a phone to her ear. Although her round hips and short legs look stunning as usual, she means business. 

I have an itch on my knee but I dare not scratch it while she's in view. I've been on my knees for 15 minutes now and she's yet to say one word to me. 

When I arrived, I knocked on the door and once I saw her peek out of the curtain, I waited the mandatory 5 minutes before I entered. Then I stripped down to the spandex Speedos I always wore at her house and placed the semi-spiky collar around my neck, held the leash in my hands, and began kneeling. 

She had been upstairs working out when I had gotten there but had bounced down the stairs and patted me on the head as she passed me on the floor a few minutes later. This usually meant I had done everything correctly. And thank god for that as the collar I was wearing could get painful if I had fouled up; the spikes were on the inside and with one tug of the attached leash it tightened around my neck and sent searing sensations through one's body; a device she had created and fashioned herself.

Next she had gone on finish her workout stretching right in front of me. Each time she bent to do a toe touch her crotch was only inches from my face. I swear she held the poses for longer than the woman on the television was doing. She loved teasing me. After said teasing she peeled her sweaty clothes off and hopped in the shower. 

I knew exactly what to do once the water started. I gathered up her moist clothing, oh how I wanted to bury my face in it, but last time she caught me doing that she had me do yard work in the hot California sun until I was pouring with sweat. Then she made me ring out my shirt into a shot glass and drink what was produced. No, I wouldn't be sniffing her workout clothes. I put the dirty clothes in the laundry, grabbed her robe, a towel, and her moisturizer and put it in the bathroom for her and then resumed my position in the living room floor. 

When she exited the bathroom in the matching black bra and panties she was on a phone call, chit-chatting away. When she handed me the moisturizer and flopped down on the couch, her leg bent as if I were put on a glass slipper, I began another sometimes-step of this ritual, I rubbed the lotion all over her legs to what I thought was her satisfactory. 

But, I lingered a bit too long in the upper thigh area, how could I not want to caress her soft, brown thighs? And this is when she shot me the look and took the moisturizer from me. She ran upstairs and came back saying, "Yes, Mom, I know" into her telephone. 

I found it highly erotic that she was doing such mundane things but with such sexy undertones. I could barely hide my excitement as she reached over to my quickly erecting cock and snapped the CB device on in one movement. It didn't want to close, as it often was the case when I was hard, but Mistress lifted my balls back and made me fit. 

"SNAP!" was the sound of the case trying to contain my member. She threw me a smile and motioned for me to turn over on my hands and knees. I did so without hesitation. 

She retreated to the kitchen and returned quickly but with what I did not see. She pulled down the skin-tight spandex, Speedos. "Slap! Slap!" She began spanking my now exposed ass. She tugged at my hair tightly in between as if to keep me in perfect stance. 

"Oh, I'm just kneading some tough dough....yes, I bake mother!" She said on the telephone. I heard her stifle a giggle as continued to spank me, with what I now realized was a wooden spoon. "This is how I was taught to make it. You beat it until it molds to what you want it. If that doesn't work, you throw it out and start on a fresh batch." 

Her Mother thought she was talking about dough but I knew she was talking about men, submissive men to be exact. And that's how Mistress L was. She was always one step ahead of my submissive thoughts. 

And that experience sticks out in my mind after 5 years because it is still the only time I've had a Mistress completely control me without ever talking to me. She is one of those women who can give you a look worth a thousand words, a stance that means business, or a finger wag that gives you chills.

And even though that was long ago, when I was first deciding on whether I was submissive or dominant, it was very real. Misress L helped me explore things I had never thought of, some things I have never experienced again. 

But, I have to admit, even in my current dominant role, with one slave-girl of my own, and many spanking sessions under my belt, she is still the only women who can give me one look and make my knees turn to putty, to the point where the buried urge to kneel before her is so great, I'm always surprised when I'm still standing.  

Thank you Mistress L for allowing me share just one of many wonderful adventures that we journeyed. - Your former bitch, Joshua

We'll get along when you stop being dumb

As I logged into my Fetlife account today I saw that I had several messages waiting to be read.

Sometimes I dread the messages on that site, sometimes I look forward to them. After skimming thru I realized I had several "Oh-pick-me-please-Mistress-I'll-be-the-best-sub messages". These usually amuse me for several reasons.

I've decided to help you poor saps out. Here's some tips guys if you're writing a potential Mistress on Fetlife:

1. Make sure she is seeking a sub...writing a Mistress who is just looking for friendship in hopes of changing her mind just seems desperate, plus she's a woman who most likely knows what she wants.

2. Have a decent profile set-up. Nothing pisses me off more than a "man" who writes me promising endless submission but can't manage to put up one picture of himself (face or not) and a small paragraph telling about himself.

3. Don't just message her "hi mistress slave here in va seeking to meet [insert telephone number] slave _____". It's just not gonna happen honey. (Yes, that was an actual message to me)

4. Don't send a cut & paste form letter. She'll know and it's just not classy. If you can't take time to write her a small custom message, how do you plan to serve reliably?

5. Penis pictures on your profile are fine but just know it will seem like your head is in the wrong place. (See: your ass)

6. Don't lie. Claiming to have been "into BDSM my whole life" or "for more than 10 years" when you're only 25 definitely seems sketchy. Or saying you have tons of real-time experience when you don't will just tell on you later.

7. Are you 30-45 years her senior...yeah probably not a good match...but I know you guys just can't help trying haha.

8. If she's a Mistress/Domme and you're a Master/Dom...you're probably not what she's looking for. Comanding her to "be a good girl and write you back" will must assuredly make her want to stomp your balls and not in a good way.

9. Fetlife is a community. If you're only in groups to pick up women or check personal ads, this will probably reflect poorly on you.

10. Be ready for something real. If you have no intentions of ever formulating a real connection with her, then don't bother. BDSM is just as psychological as it is physical.

Above all...a little decency will go a long way. Good luck!

Don't worry I'm the Captain of a motorboat

Earlier this week I attended a local BDSM club meeting with the sweet sub. Last minute plans entailed my inviting a close friend of mine as well and we were off.

Upon arriving, the sweet sub was as handsome as usual and dressed as a mild mannered frat boy (how can someone look so innocent but be so naughty?). We settled in as best we could in the tightly packed large group and began making the most of the happy hour.

We were "lucky" enough to sit by two older ladies who were polite enough to my friend and I. But, when given the opportunity to chat up the sweet sub, they went in for the kill! I've never seen cougars up close and personal but it was amusing at best. I made a few exchanges of phone numbers and email as well but was excited to know that many people assumed the sweet sub was mine. It may have been my "Don't fuck with me" look and whomever was within proximity of me it engulfed so they thought, "we better not fuck with him either" haha. But we made sure to tell people that we weren't together. He was free to roam and be mauled and pawed by all cougars alike.

If it sounds like I'm a bit jealous, I'm not, if anything I'm only jealous that he showed them his pink panties and I've yet to get a in-person show. It doesn't help that out of the men who gave me their numbers/emails, one was definitely NOT my type (think homeless chic), one was just too young (18 to be exact and he smokes and chews tobacco!), one was married but assured me his wife wouldn't mind him kneeling for me (uh huh...riiight), and one proclaimed if I ever needed a good motor-boating he would be free.

I can't help but giggle at the thought of me ever being so desperate I'd call that gentleman for a good motorboat session.

Ahh, men and their silly dreams.

One year older and hornier

Last week was my birthday and threw a big celebration as is tradition. It was a fun night filled with all my favorite things: costumes, laughs, and of course drinking.

Each year my friends struggle to get me the "perfect" gift. They call or text me trying to wrangle ideas from me, they attempt to trade ideas when I'm not around...they really do try.

But not one of them managed to get me the one thing I really wanted...

A nice submissive boy-toy for me to play with.

When blowing out the candles on my cake I really did think hard about such a boy, all wrapped up, nearly naked in some cute, slightly tight undies (or not!), topped off with a bow. Mmm!

I hope that it would look a lot like this and he'll take my birthday spankings...

 Happy Birthday to me!

A collection of sorts

Last weekend seemed to be all about shopping and buying fun toys!

And on Sunday I met up with the sweet sub I talked about last entry but this time we met up at the mall to do some panty shopping. I've never been one for sissifying my sub but somehow the thought of this broad-shouldered beau in a pair of pink, tight panties really stirs something within me! As we riffled thru the store's baskets of clearance panties I was excited to watch him pick out underwear. It was an interesting insight into guys who wear these types of things. I teased him that he picked out more girly undies than I would've worn! But I guess if you're going wear women's clothing why not go all the way. The funniest thing to me was when we were checking out the cashier just assumed that the underwear was for me as she handed me the receipt even though he had paid...if only she knew!

He was gentleman throughout our shopping spree as we whisked from store to store where he ended up buying a cute french maid outfit but did not find anything worthy at the adult store.

All the shopping made me think of the things I already own that have made it throughout all my moves with me.  I have two toy boxes and this is mainly the "kinky" items not specifically BDSM related but still fun. So for curious minds, here are this Mistress' toys!

*Pictured from left to right: a Massage For Dummies mini book, KY His & Her Oils, Astroglide, Pasties, Cock rings, Edible body dust, Warming lubricant, Altoids, Sex dice, a Wireless Cock Ring, Cock sleeves, a Blindfold, Wireless nipple clamps, Flavored lubes, and some Sex coupons

This next box is mostly BDSM based. It might be my favorite! *Pictured from left to right: a CB-6000, Velcro adjustable leg-spreader, a Feather tickler, a Whip with metal ball chain tassles, Cyberskin-like dildo, Clothespins, Bondage tape, a Chain leash, Handcuffs, a Magic bullet, my Tie-Dye dildo, a Collar & leash, sleek Black dildo, a Red riding crop, another Feather tickler with tassles on one end, a Whip, my leather Paddle, a Slave bracelet, a Ball gag with mask, a Blindfold, a Flesh colored dildo, Ribbons, and a Pair of lacy gloves

These are the toys of my trade save for my corsets, heels, and such. I can't wait till I find a good little boy to start using all my fun stuff with again!


*Click pictures for a larger view

Rant: Who cares what you want anyway?

If you're a submissive male and you've signed yourself up for BDSM, you might as well signed in blood. You beg, plead, throw grown men tantrums, and all but cry to get the things you "want". But honestly it's never about what you want.

Part of your submissive appeal is that you are just that...submissive. If you haven't already, go look that up...I'll wait. Yes, see the part where it says 'submitting'? Ahh, glossed over that little bit did ya? Well next time re-read carefully! If you have been chosen to be under my heel then you better damn well get use to the smell of feet. I don't know about other Mistresses but I have usually picked my submissive because we have the same sexual interests or he has been foolish enough to list them as "willing to try anything." I might even have given him the chance to explicitly tell me the things he most enjoys.

Boys, that's your one and only cue to tell me what you want, other than that don't mention it! I am tired of submissives writing me with lists of the things they will 'only' do but stating I can do whatever I like with them. Today class we'll learn the lesson of an oxymoron. But seriously guys, your place is to be submissive...cater to our every whim, please when me even I say I don't really want it, and to anticipate ways to make me smile.

In return you will get our happiness...and isn't that enough to make your balls tingle?

What if Craigslist and Adult Friend Finder had a baby?

I'm hardly knee deep in my quest to find a new, fitting submissive man and I decided it would be a good idea; if not just completely entertaining, to post an ad on Craigslist in the miscellaneous relationship section.

Hilarity always ensues. My ad was pretty simple, the gist of it was that I was dominant, curvy female looking for a truly submissive man. One whom's limits would be few and eagerness be plentiful. I even quipped, "Your happiness will depend solely on your ability to keep me happy and follow my instructions".

I only put up the following conditions:
1. Be around my age, 21-35.
2. Don't be married or secretly getting your fix of BDSM thru me
3. No smokers!

Pretty light terms I think but apparently I wasn't clear enough...

Response #1-Unedited
please pick me. this has been my fanasty 4 forever. im new 2 this and want 2 be trained. im such a fuckin freak. i want someone 2 help me find out who i really am, sexually' im open 4 anything. blk, hansome, str, athletic build and very hung. i promise 2 be a very good student. i wanna start right now.

Umm..wow. I don't even know where to begin with this. I found it really un-nerving that he describes himself as "a fuckin freak" because it definitely seems to be in a negative way. I thought perhaps he was a troll who just wanted me to write him back so that he could send hate mail, so alas I didn't give him the satisifaction.


Response #2-Edited for 'discretion'
I live in ______... south side right off rte ___. MWM, 25 y.o. 5'10'' 195 lbs 6.5 inches, discretion is so important I cannot send a pic right off the bat. I will be raped and hit, gagged, chocked, anything w/o marks. And all at you slightest beck and call. I am entirely d/d free with no risk! I will be with no one EVER, other than you.

Ahh, discretion is what he seeks...guess I wouldn't want my wife to know I was shopping around on CL looking for someone who was going to rape, choke, hit, and gag me either. Would I trust this guy with his promise of not being with anyone other than me? Well, only as far as I could throw him, though he might like that haha.


Response #3-Unedited
white guy here looking for to serve a lady as her slave. I am 43 years old as I kwo your ad said you was looking for younger. But I am VERY interested.

Oh fuck, he's VERY interested...well that means I have to write him back, especially since it appears that he can read oh-so-accurately as it is. I know he'll be able to follow MY instructions...NOT!


Response #4
It's two pictures of a guy smoking with the words, "Let me know if you'd like to chat" above them. Seriously dude, seriously?

Either the greater Washington DC area has men who have shit for brains (I know I know, too easy) or these guys are really just looking to get laid. I've even had nightmares that it's the two combined: brainless men just looking to get laid!?!?! It's like Swamp Thing all over again.

So, Craigslist might not be the best place to find my potential submissive but it did provide me with a good laugh while I was in a waiting room this weekend.

Oh Craigslist...list of all things that make me giggle, you never fail to put a smile on my face.

The Thinking Dominant: Love

The Thinking Dominant usually has some pretty interesting questions to pose.

The latest ones are no different. Though I have to admit I have been avoiding answering these questions since they've been posted in February...I haven't wanted to offend anyone but I think I'm ready to answer them honestly.

I hope that people reading these remember these are just one Mistress's opinions, it is not what's right, it may not even be what is usual, it just based off my perspective...

Topic: Love
Questions:

Is love different in D/s relationships compared to vanilla ones?
Yes. Absolutely. I only say this with such conviction because having been on both ends of the paddle I realize how much trust it takes to obey or command. I don't think that you can offer that sort of raw-openness in vanilla relationships because intentions (no matter how good) usually are not written out. Part of what makes the D/s relationship work is that both parties know what to expect when going in but in vanilla relationships part of the relationship is the mystery of asking yourself, "Where will this go?"

Do Dominants and submissives love differently?
I am not sure if it is different but I believe it is expressed differently. Again I have to point to the level of trust and communication it takes to make these specific types of relationships to work. It takes a lot of trust to turn your bare ass to someone and know that they will not hurt you even though they have an instrument that could in their hand. Just as it takes trust to know that the submissive is being honest about wanting this and will not later claim abuse, etc.

Have you experienced submissives falling in love faster than Dominants?
I have. As a Dominant (who was briefly a submissive as part of a learning experience) I have to say that many of my submissives feel very deeply for me very quickly. Some not as deep as others but it is surprising how often I hear "I feel like I have known you for a long time". I believe this comes from the level of intimacy shared between a D/s. It's an emotional roller coaster when you are in play or a session. And once you are finished or at least calming down you are able to reflect and understand why you just did what you did. I think it's easier to pinpoint feelings when there is nothing in between the two parties like fancy dinners, small talks getting to know one another, forced dates, etc.

Are there types of love in D/s?
Yes. I think what type of love varies depending on what degree of D/s they are engaged in.

None of this is to say that vanilla relationships are not cable of the level of love expressed in a D/s relationship or vice versa. One does not supersede another. It is just meant to show that some emotion is there. It isn't all leather, spankings, and obedience.

Because underneath all of that, there are still two people doing something that they enjoy.