Room Service

This was our first weekend away. Our first weekend in a hotel together. But when I saw her bag of tricks I knew that she had other things in mind besides relaxation. 

Something told me that this time was going to be vastly different. My hands were bound behind my back, as opposed to our previous encounter. Perhaps she felt that she was too liberal before. Whatever the case, there was an apparent lack of sensuality.

She asked if I remembered the rules as she blindfolded me but I must have answered too casually. Her tone suggested that she knew I was feeling all too comfortable and there was nothing gentle about the way she clamped my nipples. It was as if she were completely detached from me. As if I were nothing but her play-toy.

As her hands moved along my body, I could feel my mast quickly rising. I was expecting pleasure. I was sadly mistaken. 

"Did I give you permission to be hard?" She said. 

"No Ms." was my reply. 

She responded in a serious tone. "You're not allowed to be hard. Get soft right now." She began smacking my cock in the direction she wanted it to go.

I began to wonder why she tasked me with such a difficult feat. The pain was my pleasure. My arousal was the result. However, this wasn't about my pleasure. It was about hers. I wasn't losing my stiffness fast enough. 

"Didn't I tell you not to get hard?" 

Before I was even given a chance to respond, I felt the stinging pain of cold ice against my manhood. My underwear was now filled with more than a dozen ice cubes. As I concentrated on letting the cold take effect, she tortured my nipples some more.

Eventually she removed the ice, and my erection was no longer present. I breathed a sigh of relief. She must have heard me, because she quickly attacked my nipples once more. I felt teeth, nails, and other objects pinching them.The grunts, groans and moans began to escape me. Just when I thought I couldn't stand much more, she offered a glimmer of light. The clamps were removed. 

"Do you think I should be nice to your nipples?" She asked.

I answered too quickly. And very foolishly. "Yes Ms." 

The sternness of her retort sent chills down my spine. 

"Wrong answer. This is about what I want" 

She replaced the clamps in a manner that was anything but gentle and the intense sensation of pain returned.

She forced me on all fours and sat on my back for a few moments, using me as her personal chair. The weight of her was apparent but I didn't waiver, I stayed as sturdy as I could. I was then led to the floor by the rope she had conveniently tied around my cock when it was erect, and forced onto my back. It was very painful to lay on my hands, but somehow I think she was aware. In fact, she probably planned it this way. 

She left me alone for a few moments. I heard metal lightly clinking and then I could feel the stinging of the rolling blades as they traveled up my thigh. I tried to hold back my pain, but this was a mistake. She began to roll her device of torture in a more furious manner than our first encounter. My grunts of pain were becoming increasingly more difficult to restrain. I felt as if her goal was to watch me suffer. To drive across the point that pleasuring me was not her main goal.

Eventually I was brought back to my feet. She led me over towards the bed. Without even telling me what was going on, my mouth was directed towards her vagina. I began to give her oral pleasure, hoping that this is what she wanted. I was now afraid of the consequences if I chose wrong. Her response came in the form of pleasurable moans. I wielded my tongue in the most efficient way I could think of. I didn't want to consider what would happen if I didn't pleasure her to the best of my ability. Once she achieved a considerable amount of wetness, she pulled my head about. She imparted a few words unto me. Words that I would do well to remember from here on out. 

"This about what I want. You should be glad I even let you touch me" 

I felt like less than a human being. As if I didn't matter in her presence. Is this what it is truly like to be dominated?

Written by the bf

Edited for approval by: Mistress L

Wishlist Wednesday #3

It's been a while since I did Wishlist Wednesday. But I saw these items and just knew I had to share them!

Cry Baby Secret Bullet Vibrator

Want to have wireless fun? This seems like a fun little device to have when you want to secretly torture your submissive. Gives a whole new meaning to a "whining" and dining.

Fitted Leather Sheets

What could better than sleeping on a bed of leather? Helping a willing participate shed blood, sweat, and tears on a bed of leather! Easy clean-up and a sleek, sexy look. How can I resist?

Cat Lady Mask

I'm not usually one for masks but this one just spoke to me. Leather "tuffs" of fur would certainly help bring out the animal in me. Meow!

Wet behind the ears Pt. 2

His pupils dilated.

He never said how rough (or not rough) I could be. Instead all he had said was, "Use my body."

And I was doing just that.

I loosened my group from around his Adam's apple and pushed him to the ground with my pointed toes. He had removed my heels earlier in the mix, taking special care to kiss and rub them obediently.

I laid him down flat on his back, placing a pillow under his head. I gave him no warning as to what was coming as I placed my own aroused pussy on his face. I caught just a glimpse of his excited expression before I covered his mouth and face fully. I didn't have to direct or coach him in any way; I just ground on his willing and flexible tongue. I never lifted up to give him air. Instead I asked him from atop if he was okay and he would nod as much as he could between my curvaceous thighs.

I couldn't do this for long as it was putting me in an all too aroused head space. As much as I wanted pleasure I also wanted to be more hands on.

I lifted myself off and heard him catching his breath. It was good to know I had put him to work.

"May I have more Miss?" he asked pleading with his eyes.

"No, no more," I casually stated.

This is when I began kissing down his chest, leading to his long-held hard on. I told him to put his hands behind his head and he did so. His cock bounced in anticipation. I felt his tight balls; ready to explode. Lightly I took him into my mouth. He exhaled with a pleasing groan. I sucked on him for a minute, being sure each time I reached the head of his cock to flick it with my tongue. As he focused on my mouth I focused on the clothespin I had in hand.

Carefully yet quickly I placed one on the underside of his balls.

"This might pinch," I stopped and said just as I clipped it to him.

He hardly flinched.

I put another on behind it. He looked down almost surprised that the clothespin didn't hurt his delicate parts. I imagine that the adrenaline that surged thru him helped numb any pain.
I continued sucking on him bringing him closer and closer to the point of no return. He was getting ramped up, his breathing quickening with every lick.

*SNAP*
*SNAP*

I pulled the clothespin off without any warning. He jumped immediately but did not let a negative sound escape his throat.

"That wasn't too bad was it?" I asked looking up mischievously from between his legs.

"No Miss. It was fine," he replied.

I let his breathing return a bit to normal as I raked my nails up and down his body.

"Are you ready?" I asked pinning his body down with my own.

"For what Miss?" he asked but before he could finish he found out.

I placed my finger just around the edge of his ass and proceeded to lightly make my way in.

"Yes," was all he whispered.

I took his manhood in my mouth once more. The more I sucked the deeper I probed with my fingers. This was the deepest he had ever let me go inside him and he seemed to be enjoying it. I kept thrusting my fingers in and out of him listening to him make sounds I had never heard before.

I could literally feel his cock throbbing inside my mouth and under my fingers as I gripped it tightly. I bit down on his head my teeth sinking in slightly.

"Do not come in my mouth. Do you understand?" I asked assertively.

"Yes Miss no," he replied quickly.

"Yes you will come?" I asked knowing that's not what he had meant.

I stroked harder and faster as he struggled to compose his words carefully. He closed his eyes as he spoke, as if to block out the image of me with one hand wrapped around his cock and the other inside his ass.

"I meant I understood Miss. I will not come in your mouth unless you tell me to," he said perfectly.

"Good boy."

This is when I kicked it into high gear. I simultaneously switched between sucking, licking, and biting his cock. Then scratching up his thighs, biting his nipples, and taking his balls between my teeth, all the while still fucking his now loose ass.

He struggled to control himself, his body betraying him. I could see it on his face.

"Please Miss! Please, I'm going to come," he begged.

"No you're not because I didn't say you could," I responded.

"Yes Miss. I don't want to come."

He started to say this like a mantra, 'I don't want to come, I don't want to come'. He was trying everything to will his penis to not do what it so desperately wanted to do.

I removed my fingers and he sighed a bit relieved he could compose himself some.

I stood up towering over him, "Go and get cleaned up."

He looked confused.

"I would like to come Miss," he said in his most innocent voice.

"People in Hell want ice water. You've been a good boy. Now do as I say," I told him.

"Yes Miss, anything you want."

I simply love it when a boy does what he is told. Nothing more, nothing less.

Wet behind the ears Pt. 1

He had agreed to this.
To give me his body.
Granting me full control to use it how I saw fit.

He wasn't a submissive but he had what I'd call "submissive tendencies". Our relationship thus far had proved that much. Now it was time to see exactly how much he trusted me with his body.

I allowed him to enter the room. I was dressed in heels, a short skirt, an open breasted corset, and had tied my hair up in a bun. I wore my black rimmed glasses to complete the in-charge look. It seemed to have the desired effect because when he entered he looked me over with wide eyes and slight fear.

I made him strip immediately and then ordered him to kneel. We had established a ridiculous sounding yet necessary safeword; though he protested he trusted me enough not to need one.

"From this point forward you will not use my name. You will only refer to me as Miss. Do you understand?" I asked him as I towered over him.

"Yes," he responded.

I slapped his back with the paddle I held in my hand. He jumped unexpectedly.

"When I ask you a question you are to answer accordingly. Understand?" I looked him directly in his eyes and asked.

"Yes, Miss," he responded perfectly.

"Good, now let's begin."

I restrained his hands using a simple but effective basic wrap knot. He didn't resist or tense up as I carefully used the extra rope to wrap around his waist, this could have been because I practiced this knot on him the previous day. I stroked his manhood a little as I finished up with rope.

I couldn't help but notice my own excitement as my stiff nipples brushed against his body as I circled him. I had been looking forward to using him all week with no real plan in mind. I just wanted to do what came naturally--my dominace seems to flourish best this way.

He seemed nervous...his thin frame shaking a bit under the anticipation. I handed him a small glass.

"Here, drink this," I said glass in hand.

"What is it?" he asked quizically.

I shot him a stern look and he quickly opened his mouth willingly as I poured the hot shot of tequila down his throat. I kissed him hard on the lips enjoying the residual taste of liquor.

"Now relax," I ordered.

"Yes, Miss."

At this point I blindfolded him. Mainly because I didn't want him to see what was coming but also because I wanted to focus on the task literally at hand. I took an ice cube from the glass I had brought it before he arrived in the room. I held it between my lace-gloved fingers and pressed it onto his chest. His breath caught in his throat. I contiuned rubbing it all along his body, trailing it from the top to the bottom and from front to back. It was a large ice cube and wasn't melting as fast as I wanted. I turned him around and began rubbing the cube on his ass cheeks. They tensed up until I gave them a light pat. I ran the cube under his balls from behind him, along his taint and back up his crack. He seemed to enjoy this. The ice cube was melting more and it gave me an idea.

"I'm puttig the ice cube here," I said spreading his cheeks with my hand.

"I want you to hold it here until it melts. Understand?" I asked.

"Yes, Miss," he replied effortlessly.

I placed the cube there and he clenched as hard as he could to keep it from slipping out. All the while I licked his body in the places the cube had been until he had water running down his legs.

It had been nearly 20 minutes of torture now.

"I have a propsition for you. You may come now by use of my mouth but you must lick up your mess from my hands. Would you like to do that?" I teased.

He thought for a few moments.

"No, Miss. I want to give you more," he said.

I was pleased but only said, "Very well."

I turned him away from me, took Bianca in my hand and began spanking him. He doesn't have much of a bottom so I aimed carefully and made sure to make my spanks count. He only jumped a little at first but then seemed to remain more steady when I moved onto flogging him. An outsider would have never guessed this was his first time receiving these sorts of this stimulation as he held a perfect stance. Occasionally I would reach down between his legs surprised to find his cock still as hard as when we started.

"Is this too hard?" I would periodically ask him in between switching instruments.

He would moan and say, "No, Miss."

I decided to push him a bit further. I had him bend over and grab his ankles. I slapped him bare handed and heard the shock of it as he sucked in his breath. Again. Again. Again. Each time he sounded like he was surprised by the force I was capable of using. I began biting up and down the back of his thighs, knowing how sensitive his skin gets when aroused. This sent him into a roar of moans. I bit harder and he moaned louder.

I removed his blindfold, stood up, and paced around him. I grabbed a fistful of his hair bringing his face to mine. Then I took his lips between my own. I bit down. He yelped but did not say stop, so I did not. At this very moment I remembered that I had a small stash of clothespins available at my disposal. I reached for them and placed two on his nipples. He licked his lips. I slid slowly down on my knees and slipped his cock in my mouth. He felt warm and hard.

While doing this I took two more clothespins and placed them carefully under his balls. He whimpered softly and louder when I squeezed them but he did not move.

I faced him and kissed his lips before licking an outline of them.

It had been an hour now.

"I have another proposition for you," I said pausing to see if he would interrupt me with anticipation but he waited patiently.

"You may come now if you like but you must do so yourself. Masturbate to orgasm and I will watch but won't help. Would you like that?" I asked him in his ear.

He shook his head left to right. "No, Miss. I can wait," he whispered back.

"This is my last offer, after this you will come how I want or not at all. Do you understand?" I whispered.

He nodded slowly. "Yes, Miss," was his only reply.

I wrapped my hands around his throat tightly, cutting off a small supply of his air.

"Fine. Have it your way," I warned him with a wink.

Welcome to the dollhouse

He was pressing his fingers up against my clit and it was all I could do not to cry out in pleasure. He traced it with his two fingers causing me to become increasingly more wet with each stroke.

"Get on top of me," he whispered in my ear. 

I was tired and not feeling like particularly taking charge.

"Is that what Mister wants?" I asked softly.

He paused, I'm sure trying to figure out if that's what he had heard.

"What did you say?" He now asked turning his naked body slightly toward my half naked body.

"Your Plaything asked if Mister desired it to get on top of him," I responded pitching my voice a bit higher than usual.

"My Plaything?" He repeated. He was confused or shocked by what I had said but either way I could see the corners of his mouth turning up into a smile...even in the dark.

"I am your Plaything. I am here for your enjoyment. I only want to give you pleasure," I said these words with such conviction.

His breath quickened and he asked, "You're mine?"

"Yes Mister. I am yours to do with as you please," I replied.

He curled up next to me laying his head on the exposed flesh peeking from the top of my bra. I didn't move.

"Why are you so stiff...you don't want to lay with me?" He asked in regards to my obviously rigid body posture after a few moments.

"I am sorry Mister. You did not say you wanted your Plaything to lie with you, is that what you would like?" I asked feigning confusion of human emotion.   

"Yes, I want my Plaything to lie with me," was all he said.

We cuddled together like this for little while until he got up on his knees and moved to be slightly between my legs.

I had made sure to not move unless he moved me. I let my limbs hang limp until he placed them wherever he wanted them and he was now putting my legs on his shoulders as he removed my panties.

"Does my Plaything want me to go down her?" He asked a slight gleam in his eyes.

"Your Plaything wants to do whatever will make Mister happy," I said slowly.

He wasted no time diving between my legs his tongue now where his fingers previously were drawing small figure eights inside me. He was awfully good with his tongue but I didn't want to come out of character with my moans so I only squirmed a little bit until he came up for air and resumed lying beside me.

"Touch my cock," he told me in his first command.

I placed my hand on his cock. Being sure not to do anything more.

"Is this what Mister wants?" I asked him.

"No. Stroke Mister's cock," he ordered.

"Your Plaything does not understand what Mister means. How would Mister like his cock stroked?" I responded.

He took my hand in his and closed it around his cock. He was hard. Rock hard. He began moving my hand up and down his shaft in long stokes.

"Is this what Mister likes?"

He groaned in response.

"Now I want my Plaything to get on top of me," he said after I had stroked him to maximum hardness.

I did exactly as he said, climbing onto his hard cock and then I sat there motionless.

"Does my Plaything not know what riding me is?" He asked laughing slightly.

"No Mister. Your Plaything is not sure what you mean exactly."

He placed his hands on my hands and guided me back and forth on his cock, the rhythm causing me to get even wetter. He thrust his hips into mine and pulled me down harder and moaned.

"Does my Plaything like this?" He asked mid-stroke.

"Your Plaything likes whatever Mister likes. Would you like to your Plaything to moan for you? I have 14 pre-set audios programmed, which would you like?" I asked.

He thought for a moment, his manhood twitching inside of me.

"Shuffle please," he said calmly not missing a beat.

I cursed myself inside for saying I was programmed with 14 different moans but couldn't help from feeling extra sexy as I began moaning.

I cycled thru, throwing in a high pitch squeal, a sensual moan, a guttural groan, a low growl, and a badly imitated porn moan.

"Go back," he said in the middle of me moaning.

I back tracked in my performance to the sensual, most natural moan, until he stopped me.

"Yes, that one. Mister likes that one," he said as he closed his eyes and fucked me deeper.

"Is your Plaything pleasing you?" I asked already knowing the answering.

He was speechless until he bucked his hips lifting me off him completely.

"What is wrong Mister?"

"My Plaything was about to be filled with Mister's come. I didn't want to get you messy."

I guess I had gotten my answer.

I laughed and told him, "Anytime you want to play with your Plaything all you have to do is ask."

Are you a good witch or a bad witch?

"Oooohh ahhh" 

The moans escaped his throat in a ragged jumble of sounds.

I watched him arch his back in the air, lifting his thin frame above the mattress as my nails dug deeper into his flesh, the white tips of them disappearing into his stomach.

We had been like this for what seemed like a heavenly amount of time but in actuality was only a few minutes. I had no idea he would like the things I was doing to him but his body responded as if it couldn't get enough.

I placed my mouth next to his navel, licking a circle around it and then blew a huff of cool air in the same motion.

His breath caught in his throat as he struggled to breathe calmly. I began licking in larger circles covering his whole chest, working my tongue up his neck around his Adam's apple, under his chin, until I had covered his mouth with my own. All the air he released I took into myself and swallowed down my throat, the hotness sending shivers down my spine.

This time a moan escaped my own mouth. I couldn't hold it in, I didn't even try. Dragging my nails along his thighs up to his manhood and feeling his hardness, heavy in my hand spurred me to want to scratch his skin deeper. It made me want to turn my licking into quick nibbles and grab a handful of his usually tame but now wild mane in my free hand---all of which I did.

He hissed with his eyes closed, head digging into the pillow at the introduction of my teeth clamped around his left nipple, and it almost sounded like he said "More" and so that is what I gave him...

More of my breath
More of my hands around his throat
More of my breasts sweating on his chest....

More of Mistress L

Give em' the finger

Some guys like a finger in the ass...some don't.

I've learned over the years never and I mean NEVER assume...it makes an ass...well never mind that pun is too easy.

But seriously, sometimes girls want to put things (mostly a finger or three) in a guy's ass.

Is it just me or are men generally much more uptight (again no pun intended haha) about putting things in their asses? Currently neither of my beaus are into this, that's fair, to each their own. However their logic falls short for me. Did I mention they thoroughly enjoy giving me anal and have no problem being on the other end? That seems like a double standard. And beyond any of that...they won't even TRY it before they decide they don't like it.

NEWSFLASH: A finger in the ass does not make you gay. Okay guys? Or bi, or any other number of ridiculous ideas you've made up in your mind. If someone has told you this or you have gotten this impression from media, then just put it aside. Sexual pleasure is not a plausible marker for determining homosexuality---if so, we'd all be gay!

At worst it makes you experimental. At best it means you know what you like and aren't afraid to enjoy yourself in the bedroom.

I am a whole-hearted advocate for trying everything at least once, yes even this. The science behind it all makes it too hard to argue against. There are a cluster of nerve endings in your anus that make stimulation to this area feel extremely pleasurable (I know from continued experience). Orgasms can even be heightened with a little back door play if timed right. Best of all there's no special toys or lube needed. Just a little finger play and you could be "ooh" and "ahh"ing more than you imagined. Just remember to clean your hands before and after for safety and tell your partner to also be as sanitary as possible before play.

Heterosexual assplay should be a fun experience. That's it really. A finger in the ass shouldn't be a pain in the ass. Don't over think it, just enjoy yourself.

And lighten up men, give it a try. Leave your inhibitions at the bedroom door not your back door...your significant other just might thank you.

Marvelous multiples

I always seem to find the perfect guy...when I'm already in a relationship.

Being the good person that I am I don't cheat. No. I've never cheated. I've been cheated on but have never cheated. Instead I resort to the agonizing internal self-infliction---the "What if" game.

What if I were single?
What if I got drunk and happened to kiss him?
What if we just had phone sex?
What if....

Yes, we've all played that game at one point or another.

But it really is painful and unhealthy.

That's why in 2004 I decided to never play the "What if" game ever again. I decided to become polyamourous and I haven't regretted it....mostly.

It was a lot harder than just the decision to do so. I've touched on my relationship status before but over the years my conceptual ideals have shifted and moved and replaced other ideas I previously held.

I was taking this well beyond the whole "we can see other people" thing; the general casual types of relationships before getting serious. I genuinely wanted to make meaningful romantic connections with more than one person at a time and have the consent of everyone involved.

I thought I was making it easy...what guy isn't going to like the idea of being a "part-time" boyfriend? I thought wrong.

The first attempt at poly was an epic fail. Communication was all but non-existent and we ended up hurting each other in the process of finding our way in new and unfamiliar territory.

My next attempt involved too much communication, which I never believed was possible. Not until I listened to the most descriptive and raunchy tales of my boyfriend's sexual interludes with his other girlfriend. It was definitely T.M.I. and a more than subtle breaking point for me.

My third attempt (which I thought was a charm at the time) turned into an unwanted game of mind fuckery and cheating...yes cheating within a poly relationship can happen. It seemed ridiculous to me. Why sneak around when you need only ask/be open and honest?

I nearly threw in the towel until I met a sub who wanted to date and serve me. He seemed okay with the poly aspect at first but it quickly became apparent that it wasn't for him, or us. Trust issues and jealousy consumed us and what was left of our tattered relationship.

Sometimes I have thought that it would be easier to not have come out as poly, to just have settled but I know I would be a different and more unhappy person for it.

My bf (bless him) has really endured and expanded his mind a lot on my behalf. I'm his first and only poly relationship. My seeing of submissives or even casual dating hasn't caused any problems we can't talk out. And we try to remain open on all fronts.

Now I've met someone new. Someone who has tumbled in and out of my life for a few years but never stuck due to timing. He's quickly starting to become important to me and I know this will also be his first poly endeavor. I don't want to scare him but I do want to be honest with him. I am trying to outline the struggles we might encounter, the questions he might have, issues we might have overlooked...but I know it's never enough. I know life has its own plans and curve balls to throw at us.

With him, much to my surprise, it feels different. I feel different. It's the first time I have asked myself, What if I wanted to be with both him and my boyfriend on a more serious level?

Which lead me read more on the subject of "polyandry". This is essentially the opposite of polygamy---it is when a woman takes on more than one husband. I've come to conclude that I would be very open to participating in this type of arrangement. To me, this almost seems like female domination at its core, even without the BDSM play. I would be Queen of my castle, wanting for hardly much between the two them, save for a little kinky play with a submissive play-mate every so often.

And so it seems we are giving it a trial run this summer as the new bf will be staying with us on and off, sharing our living arrangements for a few months.

So far all I can say is pleasing two men is definitely going to keep me on my sexual toes...a challenge I readily accept!

Lips like morphine

I love kink but I'm not in love with kink...not anymore at least.

I'm sure that feeling will come back in time but for now, I just feel sort of "meh" about the whole thing.

My friends on the other hand---well that's a different story. I've noticed that when I meet people who were recently introduced or recently discovered their kinky side it's like watching a kid in a candy shop.

They want to touch this.
They need to learn about that.
They talk about these.

Honestly, I want to be happy for them but it's exhausting. Then I have to ask myself, "Was I ever that in love with kink?"

The short answer is no, I don't believe I ever was. For me the kinkiness that I embraced was an evolving process so to speak. I stepped into it casually in my own time and never felt overwhemled, starry-eyed, or overly pre-occupied with it. It was like finding out that I had a raised freckle I couldn't see on my shoulder. It was now just a part of me. A part of me that I showed some people but I certainly didn't show it off.

My friends who are delving deeper into kink are losing a bit of themselves I feel. They've all but forsaken any hobbies that don't involve rope, kink, or takes place in a dungeon. They don't really interact beyond attending the same kinky functions (the only place I'm guaranteed to see them), and in my opinion they certainly could care less about what's going on the more dull but very "real" world.

Is this jealousy? I wondered that myself at first but I have to say no.

What it is however is kink quietly sneaking between the cracks of friendships and working its way in until it has nearly consumed them beyond recognizable condition.

I never thought of it before but BDSM can be like a drug. The power, the submission, the raw sexuality of it all wrapped in a shimmery box tie of a social secrectecy topped with freedom.

But like all drugs it can come with a price...

It's not me, it's you

When do you get rest and relaxation in the scene when you're searching for someone?

As a dominant I often hold my breath after meeting someone new and taking them into my life. I never know if it will work out, what struggles we'll encounter, or how we'll actually mesh up together once we bring our relationship into reality.

Every relationship takes work and patience but for me personally, it's more risky when I take on a new submissive. I feel like it takes more work to find a committed play partner than it does to find a boyfriend or casual partner. If I wanted a straight up vanilla guy to date and go on dates or someone to see for a one-off with I'm confident that is easily obtained.

With a play partner it takes a little more time to work out logistics and find your footing. For me dominance and submission is a carefully anticipated dance. One leads and one follows. There will always be some toe-stepping until you and your partner learn each others moves but what happens when you are dancing the salsa and they are dancing ballroom?

There's nothing much to be done about it when your kinks don't compliment each other as well as you hoped or when things just don't work out. It's easy to sit thru baseball games when that's not really your thing but how do you convince him let you explore strap-on play if he's not interested? How can you enjoy doling out crave-worthy spankings when he's doesn't like pain, let alone exposing his bottom? It's easy to fake your way thru vanilla to get to the fun stuff I suppose, not so easy to fake being a submissive or dominant.

In the last 12 months I have played with more than 15 potentials! That's one new person a month I've been getting to know and they all seem to not work out for one reason or another. I like to think I've trained myself to be patient under the right circumstances but even that has a limit.

And short-lived yet completely full of unnecessary drama, my time with Mr. Dickless is over. 

It's a combination of things working against us not to mention namely, himself. I've said it before but it never hurts to say it again: giving up control is paramount...and difficult, but key to a successful D/s relationship. It's hard to take control from someone who holds it in their teeth like a rabid bull dog who's favorite bone you've tried to replace. And while I don't mind being aggressive to get what I want, I need to know that you want it too, otherwise we fall into that "Is this consensual?" gray area.

Gray is not a color that suits me.

Whimper once for yes, twice for more

It's only been a short time but Mr. Dickless and I have already had a few bumps in the road.

However, we're starting to stand on two good feet again. This week we dined out together and he invited me back to his place. Always a good sign in my book. It was there that we engaged in some extended tease and denial. It was the first time that we've done more than our usual virtual teasing. Tonight was a lot of firsts for us.

I knew that he was a bit nervous so I didn't want to rush too quickly into things. We started with a simple foot rub. He was very attentive to my needs all night and I believe his new mantra should be "Can I get you anything". Mr. Dickless doesn't have the outward appearance of a submissive let alone a cuckold. On the contrary in my opinion he's a rather tall, statuesque figure. He looks like he can definitely get tough when the time calls for it. So watching him pitter-patter around his own apartment wanting to wait on me hand and foot (rub) was endearing and flattering. Once we'd settled in a bit I decided to take a little charge.

"Let me see how you shaved" I said to him as I fingered his waistband.

He seemed obviously embarrassed. This coupled with the fact that I was now requiring him sit down when he pissed was playing a few tricks on his mind.

"I've never shaved off all my hair before...it feels strange." He nearly blushed when he said this.

"Well get use to it. I want you to be shaved all time. I want you to be..." I started.

"...your little bitch," he finished, taking the words from my mouth.

He pulled down his shorts and I inspected him with my hands being sure to ever-so-carefully get in a few strokes. His small penis stood at attention staring at me intently.

He moaned slightly. I stroked him for a few more minutes, drawing his excitement closer to the edge before slapping him on the balls to jolt him back to attention. And at one point in the evening he surprised me by requesting to try the chastity device I had brought along. For the most part we went on like this for a few hours. Me teasing him with my hand, him being shoved into my breasts to suckle on my nipples, and me telling him in detail all the things I wanted to do with other, more adequately equipped men.

"I want you so bad. Please Mistress, let me have you," he begged repeatedly.

"No." I answered coolly. I think he enjoys hearing me deny him almost as much as I enjoy doing so.

So far we have some established fantasies that we'd like to play out but we're still searching for the right guy for our first time partaking in actual cuckolding. We aren't the typical cuckold couple but we're finding our own fun as we go along.

In the meantime Mr. Dickless has been ordered not to come until mid-April. He will endure as much tease and denial as I can throw at him with my watchful eye. All to prove to me that he is devoted to our cause...his transformation into a complete cuck.

Say hello to my little friend

His name is Mr. Dickless and I'm making him my bitch.

It started out like most Craigslist ads---I was searching for something generally specific but it was that which I knew I would never really find.

Slews of replies came in before the ad was flagged for removal but his was the one that caught my kinkster attention.

Within his reply he asked very plainly, "Would cuckolding be something you would be interested in?" As if he were asking "Red or white?"

And with that our conversations began to take on a life of their own.

I wasn't looking for a cuckolding partner but I'm always on about experiencing new things and thought 'What the hell'  and decided to give it a go.

We started out a few weeks ago simple enough just explaining what cuckolding meant to each of us, our experiences with it, and how we wanted to proceed. We've currently flipped between us being a kinky couple and me being his cuckoldress. While we're at the moment dabbling in both worlds it is no doubt in my mind where this is leading...

He will be my bitch.

I've implemented what I believe is an amazing mix of Mistress to our adventures.

He cannot have sexual release without my permission or must pay monetarily to do so.

He cannot stroke the pathetic cock that no longer belongs to him.

He waits with bated breath to hear about my sex with the bf, all the while I tease him telling him he will never "measure" up.

He masturbates on command until I am thoroughly aroused and then I leave him alone, horny and unable to touch himself while I am taken care of elsewhere.

He is not to fuck anyone without my permission---but I know he's already too much of a pussy to even try.

He will assist in any way needed in finding me a "bull" to play with.

He is in the midst of choosing between a great pair of cocks for me to have. Both significantly larger than himself.
 
He has promised when I decide on said cock, he will gladly stroke it to attention and give it a nice cleaning when I am through---all for my viewing pleasure.

He begs to dry hump objects in his home to fulfill his pathetic need to touch himself.

He tells me just how badly he wants me only to have me laugh in his face and tell him simply, "No."

He will be my bitch...and I don't think there's a thing he can do about it.

A key for every lock

I like keys.

I've always enjoyed the mysterious quality and history that they hold.

As a child I searched for keys with tenacity and hid them away in a wooden trim decorated box that I had received from an old relative.

When I was with my collection I could pretend the keys went to anything I imagined. I could come up with tales about where they were from and how they had made their way to me.

So it's no surprise that I gravitated toward chastity play as a beloved essential in my kink repertoire. It involves three of my favorite things: cocks, restriction, and keys!

I dabbled in chastity at first, never really having a partner who craved to be locked up the way I wanted until I met him---the submissive who begged me to keep his cock locked up until I thought it was worthy to be released.

I don't think he fully understood the "prison" he was asking for. I was the warden and would gladly lock him away and keep the key for myself.

We started off our chastity play as just that: play. He would wear the device he had chosen for an hour or less when he served me each week but as we got to know each other more my desires increased along with his. He had quite a lovely cock so it pleased me even more to know that when I wanted, it belonged only to me and I was depriving women all around of such a magnificent tool. We moved on to locking him up over the weekends and I loved receiving the texts from him begging for permission to be released because he had met someone at a bar or club and was ashamed to show them the cage. 

Me and my favorite key

Of course I denied it every time. I joked that when he found a woman who wanted to share the key with me, that then and only then, would allow him supervised release.

It had been more than two years with him being locked up on and off regularly. Mostly five days at a time and then I'd release him for cleanings or good behavior.

I never tired of hearing him plead with me late at night after sending naughty pictures of myself to him---just aching to touch himself, even if only for a few brief moments.

We began working on orgasm control and he became very good at controlling himself when I commanded him to come or not to come. I was impressed with his dedication to the cause.

We took a trip together that involved us flying and he was terrified he would be stopped at security for wearing his device. The entire wait up until we cleared security I kept jokingly grabbing him and saying: "Sir! We know what you're hiding". His eyes would widen and his breath would quicken and I would have the giggles for about five minutes at his fright.

Yes, controlling ones orgasms, arousal, and direct contact with their own genitals seemed to be stirring something in me the deeper we delved. At one point he went 101 days straight without release!

But then something happened, he met a girl. A girl who somehow didn't run at the sight of his cock cage (he willingly showed her). She was actually very curious about it and what it all meant. And while she had lapses in her expression of how "odd" it was, she eventually contacted me for advice and questions.

I told her nearly everything I knew about chastity devices and eventually she asked me to hold the key on special occasions. I really had to ponder this. Was I ready to give up even just a fraction of the power I held over him? Relegating the command of his orgasms seemed impossible at that point. (And I'll be the first to admit, I was on a bit of a power high haha)

When I consulted him on the situation he stated that he also worried that she was not prepared to be his dedicated key holder so asked me if I would train her as a key holder for the future. I was flattered and took up the challenge wholeheartedly.

Ten months, various workshops, piles of books, and hours of videos later I felt she was capable of key holding for him. She seemed to have let go of nearly all the negative connotations she had toward chastity play and understood the deeper meaning behind it; he craved control and functioned better with it.

It was shortly thereafter he told me he wanted to marry this girl who had become an integral part of our accidental triad. He wanted MY permission to do so. Who was I to deny him love? "Of course!" I told him instantly.

I was invited to the wedding but was unable to attend so instead I sent the best gift I could give. One that I hoped they would cherish as much as I had.

It was a card with a key attached that simply read: You already have the key to his heart now here is the key to his cock.

A trade

This week I turned my online BDSM profiles to inactive.

It's that time again where I must step back and take a break from the scene and re-evaluate myself and my surroundings.

I've been finding it increasingly difficult for me to tolerate the "submissive" men who approach me (on and offline) who are clearly outside of my ideal standards.

In the same respect I have found it even more so lacking in finding someone who does fit within that spectrum The prospects I have seem to be entertaining are sharing a common problem with me being in a vanilla relationship---which hasn't been nearly as much of a problem before this year.

It has made me ponder if the shoe were on the other foot how would I feel? When my last play partner had a girlfriend she wasn't vanilla and I was fine with their relationship as long as she didn't encroach on what I deemed "my" territory. Is this a territorial issue?

I've asked the submissive men what about my vanilla relationship is a problem for them and they are never quite able to put it into words. This in turns leads to me wonder if this is yet another excuse to hinder them from going thru with their BDSM desires or if there really is an issue for them, my being attached.

This puts me in quite the predicament---would I ever give up my relationship for BDSM or give up BDSM for my relationship?