30 Days of Kink (Pt. 3)

Day 12: Tell us about a humorous BDSM/kink experience you’ve had.  If you haven’t had one, talk about aspects of kink/BDSM you find funny.
One of the first play parties I attended was a highly private event. It was by invite only and I wanted to impress everyone there (especially the hostess). I was particularly excited about this party because it was a "Masquerade" type of party, which appeals to my inner costume fetish. I had a submissive boy toy who was known for his "skills downtown". For me this is a curiosity because I am very strict in how I receive that kind of pleasure...the catch is I am highly ticklish in my vagina if it's not done with brain surgeon precision. So, while at the party to show off (hey, I was young and wanted to appear in control) I asked him to live up to his reputation. Literally five seconds after he began I felt this swell of laughter bubble up inside me. I tried to contain it but once I get started I can't stop. In the middle of this "classy" event with half the people in mask who were twice my age I burst into uncontrollable laughter. I couldn't stop for a good five minutes. Some people in the area still talk about that night.

Day 13: Explain as best you can what the appeal of kink/BDSM is to you?  Why are you drawn to what you’re drawn to?
For me the appeal lies in how direct and natural it is. We feel these desires, we want these sensations, we crave our fetishes...it's our nature. The appeal is the freedom it presents in its second-natureness. If we are honest with ourselves and we allow ourselves to just "be" we truly understand what's at our core. 

Day 14: How would you say real life BDSM/kink varies from fantasy BDSM/kink?
I see this all the time...submissive men who come to me and either a) they're afraid to meet me in a public setting because they think I will come in full latex and six inch heels or b) they are upset when they do meet me in private and I'm not wearing full latex and six inch heels. It's a no win situation sometimes with the people who are wrapped up in their own fantasies. I'm not a Pro-Domme, this a lifestyle not my life. In my opinion anytime you actually take part in a BDSM activity it stops being a fantasy and starts being a reality. I think kinky participants are usually undetectable vanillas in most settings.

Day 15: Post a BDSM/kink activity you’re curious about and would like to try.
I've been interested in the usage of a vacuum bed. This is a device where a person is placed in a latex envelope and then all of the air is removed creating an outline of said person, leaving only a small space for an air tube. This device can't be used alone and just screams EROTIC!

Day 16: What are the most difficult aspects of having a sexuality that involves kink or BDSM for you personally?
There's two things: One, is that I feel more sexually satisfied when kink is involved. I can be sexually satisfied...the keyword is I am more satisfied with it. For that I feel it's unfair to not alert my vanilla sexual partners that I am interested in kink. The other thing that's difficult for me is the general populace thinks what I enjoy is "taboo". I strongly believe that what someone chooses to do in the privacy of their bedroom is their business. Period. Who are we to judge?

Day 17: What misconception about kinky people would you most like to clear up?
We are not freaks and not all of us have underlying emotional issues that make us "damaged". Contrary to popular belief.

Day 18: Any kinky/BDSM pet peeves?  If so, what are they?
Most of peeves have to do with the BDSM community. It's just people being people but usually we are the ones with the power to taint things. Sometimes I feel the people within the scene make BDSM more complicated and/or unappealing than it needs to be.

And if you'd like to complete the 30 Days of Kink as well you can participate by getting the info here. 

30 Days of Kink

This month I'd like to reflect on my inner kink. I've seen this floating around the web for some time now and decided to pitch in. I'll be doing mine in weekly installments. If you want to participate or see where I got the idea, check it out over here.

So here are my 30 Days of Kink

Day 1. Dom, sub, switch? What part of BDSM interest you? Give us an interesting in-depth definition of what that means to you. Basically define your kinky self for us.
I always struggle when I have to define myself in terms of my kinky self. I am a dominant woman overall. I am still myself but I take all the attributes that normally are seen as negative within a woman and use them to my advantage and will. Instead of headstrong, confident, opinionated, decisive being flaws, I turn them into the very things other desire to have.

Day 2. List your kinks 
Seriously? Oh I have way too many to name but a few of my favorite are spanking, queening, chastity, light humiliation, discrete public play, mind control, sensory restrictions, puppy play, begging, tease & denial, light bondage, breath play, mummification, scratching, mild pain, body & foot worship, and of course collars and leashes.

Day 3. How did you discover you were kinky? 
For me it wasn't as if a light bulb went off. I've always known that my sexual interests were a bit unconventional, not even extreme but for me the typical relationship and sexual encounter never left me completely satisfied. The older I got the less I fought against it. Once I realized there were other people with the same interests I was delighted to have found a place where I wasn't frowned upon but rather understood and if not, tried to be understood. It's nice not to be judged.

Day 4. Any early experiences that, in retrospect, hint at your kinks? 
Certainly. I have always been drawn to rather submissive guys now that I look back. Dominant men and myself have had our fun but it was intense and felt like more of a power struggle. I am a total alpha woman, when a man questions me I feel the need to flex my breasts and show that I have just as much authority as he does with his penis. My vanilla relationships with dominant men have always ended rather dramatically and our time together was usually tumultuous.  

All dressed up with somewhere to go

For me I've never been typically attracted to the "manly" man. I tend to gravitate toward guys who I can fantasize about overpowering or having a fair chance at an arm wrestle match with.

So it should've come a lot sooner to my attention that feminization, forced or otherwise, would be a fun fetish to explore. I'd seen the videos of men dressed up as little girls, or sissies flaunting their panties and didn't pay it a second thought. Until one night walking home, I got cat-called...

"Damn girl! You have any fries with that shake?"

This was a popular hang out for the trannies and I never had paid them any attention, but when one yelled out to me I instinctively yelled back.

"You know it, but that's extra," I quipped with a  z-shaped air snap, turning to really get a look at the group.

They cackled under the bar sign where they stood in 4 inch heels and skin tight dresses.

It was love at first sight and since then I've had a visual love affair with Drag queens!

They're loud.
They're extreme.
They're bold.
They're fashion Picassos.

What's not to love?

Something about men dressing as women stirred something inside me and I began to use forced feminization on my submissives as a form of punishment.

Painted toes here...
Panties there...
Short skirts...

They pretended not to like it every time I spattered their face with make-up, spanked their asses, and made them walk the runway for me in their overly short skirts but I knew deep down they enjoyed it and secretly their little sissy-boy hearts swelled.

I've since given up on only forcing feminization for punishment and have started to find a real desire to see my submissives turned femme for certain occasions.

I keep teasing writer sub that his time is coming as he's not what I'd describe as a "manly" man and that's not meant as an insult. On the contrary it is quite arousing. He's got a perfectly round bottom, soft hands (he is a writer after all), small feet, lush lips, an adorably round face...

He's going to make quite the femme boy and I'm going to take him out for a "girls' night". It's all I can do in anticipation to see him all dolled up...literally.

No harm no foul

"Hunting" season is officially over. I wish I could say I was sad to see it go but I am exhausted from my interview-esque dating schedule. I'm happy to be able to relax and focus on myself for a bit and with the holiday months just around the corner it all works out.

And it wasn't all bad, I got to meet lots of subs and weeded out the bullshitters. There are a few subs I'm still chatting with but haven't met who hopefully I'll get to meet in person soon...I'm just not meeting any new subs.

I'll spend this off-time making some new friends, further fine-tuning my fetishes, and as always continuing my research on the community.

I was looking over an older entry at the fetishes I wanted to try and it's interesting to see what I've experienced in just a year.

Objectification

The sweet youngling (newly 19) who begged for me to just use him as I saw fit for the day. To not treat him as a person, to objectify him. Giving into something I've been dying to try was easy. As soon as I arrived at his house I made him carry my shoes in his mouth and proceeded to use him as a table for my laptop (with him laying across my lap), a footstool that I tapped to the music playing on my iPod, and a table where I sat a glass of wine and a bowl of soup and ate while I watched a movie. He was splendid and didn't spill a drop. Afterward he said he really felt like he was an object as I had little to no regard for any spills, hot items, or uncomfortableness that I imposed on him.

Mummification

An older recently divorced male approached me in the area. We talked over dinner and he confessed the reason he had so eagerly sought to meet with me was because not only had his marriage fallen apart due to his and his wife's view on sexuality but it was also because of his desires which included being mummified for a full day. His dream was to practice a wife led marriage (which she wouldn't agree to). It would mean all the more if it were to entail someone exactly opposite of his wife who was a meek, pale, boyishly shaped housewife. "I wanted someone who could eat my wife for breakfast", he said blushing. As for me I happen to be beautifully brown, wide hips, full breasted, completely dominant and had no problem with wrapping him up in industrial size saran wrap and leaving him under the glass table as I sat in his living room reading a book. Occasionally I'd press on his balls with my newly purchased boots just to hear him moan, sit on his snugly wrapped face; covering his only source of breathing, or all together ignore his pleas to be released (which was something we discussed beforehand). It was quite an experience and I'm assuming by his constant plastic wrapped erection throughout the ordeal he thought so as well.

Panty Sniffing

Usually I'm pretty protective of my undergarments. Even for submissives, I don't trust them to take care of them or not to do dirty things to them as I have often caught a few engaging in such behavior. But I started thinking of it not so much as something I need to be protective of but just another extension of my womanly power over men. Being a person who is highly turned on by certain smells I thought I'd give this a try. I went to the gym and did my daily routine before meeting a sub from Craigslist for drinks. He said he wanted to pay for my panties (I declined) but he was a handsome, unsuspecting chap who was wonderful to chat with. He nearly got on his knees at the bar we were at when I said I wouldn't give him my undies. I toyed with him telling him that perhaps the next time we met I would. Little did he know I had all intentions of giving him my slightly sweaty panties. When he went up to go to the bathroom, I slipped them off under the table (un-noticed I hope!) and stuffed them into his jacket pocket. Shortly after I stated I had to run but I wanted him to get on webcam chat with me in about 2 hours, to which he happily agreed, especially if it meant he could prove himself to me for my underwear next visit. Once we got on chat, I gave him a few commands (seeing a man on his knees never gets old!) and then I instructed him to go retrieve the jacket he'd worn to drinks. He was pretty perplexed but did as he was told. When I revealed my surprise to him, he started to pre-cum instantly. Honestly, there's nothing like seeing a man's dick drool for you. Upon sniffing my panties he begged to masturbate for me. I allowed him to do so as long as he came on my underwear and licked up his come. He did so without argument. I was definitely surprised by his intense response to my panties and even more surprised when he complimented my womanly smell as "earthy and fresh" lol.

This all makes me want to try even more things I'm curious about as so far all of my trials have been very insightful and highly erotic. Once hunting season is back on the fresh meat better watch out!

Things I am interested in have generally stayed the same but here's my updated version of the other list:

Fetishes I am curious about and/or want to try 

Red= No longer want to try

Blue= Newly added

• Body painting
• Branding
• Business suits
• Latex
• Pet play
• Chains
• Feet on face
• Fisting
• Hypnosis
• Human dolls
• Kidnapping
• Impact play
• Mummification
• Objectification
• Panty sniffing
• Pegging/Strap-Ons
• Caging/Confinment
• Prostate massage
• Queening
• Rimming
• Gang bangs
• Spreader bars
• Spitting
• Water bondage

So many wonderful things to try...where shall a Mistress start?

Xdressing: Confusing fun for all

A few weekends ago I had the pleasure of attending my first crossing dressing party. I've been to cross dressing events or shows in the past, but this was the first event where I was invited to participate.

A week prior to the event I tried desperately to find a way to strap down my 46DDDs. Duct tape. Extra small sports bras. Ace bandages. Saran wrap. But nothing worked. It seemed these babies were here to stay (as usual!). So I decided to figure out other ways to include them in my costume.

My last resort was to dress up as an old guy and include them as part of the prop belly. When I started to look like something out of Big Momma's House, I decided maybe I just wasn't cut out for cross dressing lol.

During one my search for tips and tricks of the trade, I actually ran across a website devoted completely to a phenomenon called "FemSkin". For those of you who are as clueless as I was, it is a full silicone body suit that a male can wear to give him a female shape and working parts. You can get the full suit, just top half, just bottom half (with a neat catheter type deal for you to urinate without removing the suit), or just the good naughty bits. At $2500 to $3500 these suits are for the hardcore. But I couldn't help thinking that they look as if they really could fool a few unsuspecting, possibly drunk victims.  

This was definitely a world where I was out of my element.

My original plans also included myself and sweet sub dressing as a deliciously slutty cheerleader but he was unable to make it so I coached the bf into coming along. In actuality, he was a bit more excited about it than I anticipated.

"Should I shave my arms or legs?" he asked eagerly.

To which I exasperated and rolled my eyes.

Once we arrived the party was well on its way. People were mingling and drinking.  We changed and I didn't feel too left out since I had opted for very minimal cross play in a tie and Fedora as we hopped into the groove of the party. I got into Photography mode as I snapped pictures of everyone posing in the play room. They are a very photogenic and camera friendly folk, I love it!

Several of the males also dressed up and it was scary how well some of them looked! But alas I don't think I've changed my feeling on seeing men in dresses other than for my amusement or punishment.

Hard as I tried to imagine everything under the dress my mind kept trailing back to the cut of the dress, or color, or hem lol. I think panties and uniforms are my limit on what I find as pleasing feminine attire on males...but it's always fun to play with every now and then.

While the cat's away, the yuppies will play

I definitely get the phrase "a New York minute" after visiting this week. The city was enthralling, bustling, and confusing as always. It's almost like being home when I am there for an extended period. And this visit I really I had to tear myself away to head back to DC.

I initially went for some work and to visit a few friends but it became evident the city had other plans for me. On Friday I went to a local BDSM group. They met in downtown Manhattan and it was a group geared towards the younger players in the scene. I was really psyched to see how their groups compared to back home so I arrived on time only to realize, the group hadn't specified how to recognize them. Once I poked around the restaurant where they were meeting I found a hand written sign sagging on the table that just said their group's call letters. Further inspection of the folks gathered round didn't show off their more kinky sides the way I thought the DC group subtly did. These people were dressed pretty smartly for a 24-hour diner which made me glad I had chosen to dress up as well.

I dragged the bf along with me so that I would have a familiar face and to expose him just a little more to the scene; not that I want to convert him, I just don't want him conjuring images of the people I hang with that are unrealistic. We were greeted briefly...very briefly and then promptly ignored. I tried jumping in the conversation over the course of the meal but they definitely had a clique feeling to their group. It was obvious they all knew each other as they traded inside jokes and hushed laughter. I found out who was "in charge" (if you want to count a whiny, overly anxious, unorganized man-child as a leader) and tried to introduce myself again but I was brushed off. As new members came they scrambled not to be placed at the end of the table with myself..."the new girl". It was like I had cooties! I'll admit, I wasn't being loud or overly aggressive in the situation but that's because I wanted to make a good first impression, you only get one chance right? And they were tanking as I found their behavior down-right rude.

And just as I was about to leave a delightfully adorable girl with a small but simple collar sat next me. She smiled and I thought, "Now here's a friendly face". The group acknowledged her but then proceeded to also keep her out of the loop. Her, myself and my bf all chatted for almost an hour and I learned that she was young, new to the group (this was her second meeting) and looking to make friends. We exchanged our Fetlife info and I can at least be grateful that if nothing else, I made one acquaintance from from the snobby diner bunch. I guess I'm just not New York enough to fit into that group.

On Saturday night I participated in something I'd never heard of, much less done. A phone party line. I can't even recall how I heard about this or got involved, but I do enjoy a good session of phone sex so I thought I'd see what this was all about. I talked with local subs and slaves and a few other Dommes via phone for a couple hours about various BDSM topics. I had a blast and was provided with thought-provoking discussions. Afterward you decide if you want to exchange phone numbers with anyone you talked to and I was lucky enough to be requested by everyone I chatted with! After picture sharing, some of us even made plans to meet the next time I was in the city.

I am not sure if I have mentioned how I feel about what I've dubbed as the "sub-hunt" but I usually take a while to find a sub. I am not sure if it's because I am too picky or because the men are too flaky but once I find a sub I try to give it my all. When our time has come to an end, I go back on the "sub-hunt" sometimes it can take me 6 months or longer to find what I deem an adequate submissive. So far I've been looking for a year, more seriously for the past few months and it is getting daunting. I feel as if I am scrapping the bottom of the barrel with my search. So I mentally told myself that if I hadn't found anyone that I was interested in and vice-versa by November 1st that I am taking an official break for a few months. Just as a breather and to keep my sanity! So, I started looking in NY (because this is also where I found the bf) and I wrote a few people. Some guys were interesting but I got a vibe letting me know they weren't serious. I talked on the phone to a couple but there was no spark. One guy even said after picking up the phone: "Miss L, I have to be honest, I am just looking for sex...and you have a beautiful mouth that I want to do dirty things to me." While I appreciate his candor, I politely declined haha.

I decided to switch up my approach. Fuck how much a guy says he can do for me, fuck his experience, fuck how well he can worship my pussy, and look for someone I might actually get along with. It was with this attitude I wrote someone on Collarme who listed his vanilla interests before his BDSM interests in his profile (brownie point #1), was interested in music and the arts (brownie point #2), was easy on the eyes (brownie point #3) and was located just 8 miles from where I was currently (brownie point #4). I wrote him an honest one-liner and kept looking but to my surprise he was also online that moment and wrote back within minutes. We chatted for a bit in messenger and then he asked if he could call me later that night. Guys rarely ask if they can call me. They always want to fuck around and chat online for ages or text sexual fantasies or email me NSFW pics. I usually have to initiate the phone call idea. All the more reason I was happy to oblige. Once he called and we talked, it was strange...we just fell into the conversation. It was like we had talked before or maybe he was just that easy to talk to. He kept complimenting my voice and my personality (never a bad move) but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop lol. The conversation was going so well and I enjoyed his personality so much that I slipped in casually:

"So, you wanna meet tomorrow for lunch?" There was a slight pause on his end.

Fuck. I knew it, another illusionist. He just wanted to see how close he could get to his fantasy without actually having to act on it.

"Sure! I'd love to Queen L" he chimed in.

Now I was the one with a pause. I tried not to get too excited because, making plans and following thru on plans are two different things.

I told him to pick a restuarant that wasn't Thai and text me the location tomorrow around noon.

The night dragged on with my insomnia and I tried not to think about tomorrow and if he would really text me or if we would really meet. I was relieved when sleep took me over at 7am.

A little after 12, still no text. I wasn't disappointed. I had prepped myself to expect this. I did some last minute packing, showered and such but when I came back to my phone I had one message with the name of a Columbian resturant and the address, with a time to meet. He had taken to calling me Queen L so I instructed him to write "Queen's Subject" on his inner hand before we met. For me this was just another test to see if the Collarme sub was serious. We met and had lunch. He was everything I thought he'd be from talking. Halfway thru lunch he flashed me his palm, inside in big black sharpie letters were: Queen's Subject. This was very unlike one sub I met who didn't work out who wrote another message on his hand so tiny I needed magnifying glasses to read it. This sub was proud to have my name scrawled across his body.

He offered me back to his place for tea and I didn't have anything but time to kill before the drive back so I accepted. Upon arriving, he showed me around but when I sat on the couch, I told him to sit lower than myself. He sat on the floor, then laid on the floor and that is where he stayed. He begged to kiss my feet and hands, which I let him do. He was so adorable as he lay wrapped around my leg almost drifting to sleep as I petted his head. I really wanted to have him strip and allow me the pleasure of some light spanking, but I didn't want to push too far for a first meeting. We talked and moved from room to room but he still expressed wanting to sit at my feet.

At some point he asked me if I liked the power exchange that comes with being a Domme. "What does it feel like to see me sitting here at your feet?", he asked from my toes.

"I can't describe it in words," I said as I thought about it for a moment.

"You know when you have a craving for a certain food...and maybe you wait all week until Friday to finally get it but then you do? It's like the first taste of the food, when it melts in your mouth and you savor the flavor" I said whole heartedly.

He seemed to like this analogy. But that was accurate for me and if the Collarme sub is my first taste of a long craving, then I think I'll have seconds!

What women want

...I actually don't know what all women want, I only know what this woman wants.

I have finally come to terms with what exactly I really want. Many of the things in my life have fallen into place except men. With me, men and relationships have always been an exhilarating roller coaster. I've been thru many hands-in-the-air ups and stomach-turning downs. But it wasn't until I found BDSM that I finally realized it wasn't selfish to want the things I wanted. It didn't make me a bitch to want to be catered to. And it most certainly didn't make me a freak if I wanted to do those with a paddle in hand.

What I seek seems simple enough but weeding thru the unworthies does get daunting. Even though I am dominant that does not mean I need to constantly be in control. I do not want a spineless, worm of a man. I want someone who will hold their head high and walk beside me with confidence. I want someone who will make me laugh while we're out but beg and plead in the bedroom. Someone who will cherish the collar he wears nearly as much as he himself is cherished by me. Even someone who gives a little resistance just to receive a little pain would be a fresh of breath air.

Wake up from your fantasies little subbie boys and smell the leather. Some of us ladies actually know what we want...and if you can stop fumbling over your balls for a minute and get it together you could be sitting pretty under our heels.

My sexual pickles & ice cream

I'm climbing the walls with an over 6 month dry spanking spell on my theoretical heels. This may seem unusual or very usual if I'm picky as I am as of late. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too narrow-visioned.

When I actually sit and think about what I want in my next dominant-submissive relationship I either draw a blank or too many things come to mind that don't seem feasible.

So, my horniness this weekend led me to message a sub I use to play with on a weekly basis: quiet sub. He and I haven't done anything in a year but we have kept in touch. Before I could even ask him about meeting up soon he beat me to it. It's always nice to have an eager sub wanting to see you, especially him with his ever submissive gaze!

We had pretty good understanding and general routine whenever he visited. We'd hang out for a bit (eat dinner, watch a movie, etc) then have a shot or two of alcohol (he has a bit of anxiety I believe so this helped him relax) and then start in on our playing for a few hours or so. When we were done sometimes we'd talk about the session sometimes we'd talk about random stuff, then he'd be on his way.

We'll see if I can wait long enough to see him or if I'll hit up a club in the meantime for some action or maybe just a munch will take my mind off it.

But, I cannot put into words how badly I want to feel someone's skin in my hand as I spank them, or how much I would love to spit in a sub's mouth. I just get cravings for certain acts and there is no real way to squelch them unless I obey them.

Makes me wonder if I am a submissive to my own needs sometimes...

Under Mistress L's Spell

Mistress L gives me the look that says, "Sit down and shut up." I'm already doing that but I still feel scolded when she sashays by in nothing but a pair of lacy black panties and a matching bra, holding a phone to her ear. Although her round hips and short legs look stunning as usual, she means business. 

I have an itch on my knee but I dare not scratch it while she's in view. I've been on my knees for 15 minutes now and she's yet to say one word to me. 

When I arrived, I knocked on the door and once I saw her peek out of the curtain, I waited the mandatory 5 minutes before I entered. Then I stripped down to the spandex Speedos I always wore at her house and placed the semi-spiky collar around my neck, held the leash in my hands, and began kneeling. 

She had been upstairs working out when I had gotten there but had bounced down the stairs and patted me on the head as she passed me on the floor a few minutes later. This usually meant I had done everything correctly. And thank god for that as the collar I was wearing could get painful if I had fouled up; the spikes were on the inside and with one tug of the attached leash it tightened around my neck and sent searing sensations through one's body; a device she had created and fashioned herself.

Next she had gone on finish her workout stretching right in front of me. Each time she bent to do a toe touch her crotch was only inches from my face. I swear she held the poses for longer than the woman on the television was doing. She loved teasing me. After said teasing she peeled her sweaty clothes off and hopped in the shower. 

I knew exactly what to do once the water started. I gathered up her moist clothing, oh how I wanted to bury my face in it, but last time she caught me doing that she had me do yard work in the hot California sun until I was pouring with sweat. Then she made me ring out my shirt into a shot glass and drink what was produced. No, I wouldn't be sniffing her workout clothes. I put the dirty clothes in the laundry, grabbed her robe, a towel, and her moisturizer and put it in the bathroom for her and then resumed my position in the living room floor. 

When she exited the bathroom in the matching black bra and panties she was on a phone call, chit-chatting away. When she handed me the moisturizer and flopped down on the couch, her leg bent as if I were put on a glass slipper, I began another sometimes-step of this ritual, I rubbed the lotion all over her legs to what I thought was her satisfactory. 

But, I lingered a bit too long in the upper thigh area, how could I not want to caress her soft, brown thighs? And this is when she shot me the look and took the moisturizer from me. She ran upstairs and came back saying, "Yes, Mom, I know" into her telephone. 

I found it highly erotic that she was doing such mundane things but with such sexy undertones. I could barely hide my excitement as she reached over to my quickly erecting cock and snapped the CB device on in one movement. It didn't want to close, as it often was the case when I was hard, but Mistress lifted my balls back and made me fit. 

"SNAP!" was the sound of the case trying to contain my member. She threw me a smile and motioned for me to turn over on my hands and knees. I did so without hesitation. 

She retreated to the kitchen and returned quickly but with what I did not see. She pulled down the skin-tight spandex, Speedos. "Slap! Slap!" She began spanking my now exposed ass. She tugged at my hair tightly in between as if to keep me in perfect stance. 

"Oh, I'm just kneading some tough dough....yes, I bake mother!" She said on the telephone. I heard her stifle a giggle as continued to spank me, with what I now realized was a wooden spoon. "This is how I was taught to make it. You beat it until it molds to what you want it. If that doesn't work, you throw it out and start on a fresh batch." 

Her Mother thought she was talking about dough but I knew she was talking about men, submissive men to be exact. And that's how Mistress L was. She was always one step ahead of my submissive thoughts. 

And that experience sticks out in my mind after 5 years because it is still the only time I've had a Mistress completely control me without ever talking to me. She is one of those women who can give you a look worth a thousand words, a stance that means business, or a finger wag that gives you chills.

And even though that was long ago, when I was first deciding on whether I was submissive or dominant, it was very real. Misress L helped me explore things I had never thought of, some things I have never experienced again. 

But, I have to admit, even in my current dominant role, with one slave-girl of my own, and many spanking sessions under my belt, she is still the only women who can give me one look and make my knees turn to putty, to the point where the buried urge to kneel before her is so great, I'm always surprised when I'm still standing.  

Thank you Mistress L for allowing me share just one of many wonderful adventures that we journeyed. - Your former bitch, Joshua

We'll get along when you stop being dumb

As I logged into my Fetlife account today I saw that I had several messages waiting to be read.

Sometimes I dread the messages on that site, sometimes I look forward to them. After skimming thru I realized I had several "Oh-pick-me-please-Mistress-I'll-be-the-best-sub messages". These usually amuse me for several reasons.

I've decided to help you poor saps out. Here's some tips guys if you're writing a potential Mistress on Fetlife:

1. Make sure she is seeking a sub...writing a Mistress who is just looking for friendship in hopes of changing her mind just seems desperate, plus she's a woman who most likely knows what she wants.

2. Have a decent profile set-up. Nothing pisses me off more than a "man" who writes me promising endless submission but can't manage to put up one picture of himself (face or not) and a small paragraph telling about himself.

3. Don't just message her "hi mistress slave here in va seeking to meet [insert telephone number] slave _____". It's just not gonna happen honey. (Yes, that was an actual message to me)

4. Don't send a cut & paste form letter. She'll know and it's just not classy. If you can't take time to write her a small custom message, how do you plan to serve reliably?

5. Penis pictures on your profile are fine but just know it will seem like your head is in the wrong place. (See: your ass)

6. Don't lie. Claiming to have been "into BDSM my whole life" or "for more than 10 years" when you're only 25 definitely seems sketchy. Or saying you have tons of real-time experience when you don't will just tell on you later.

7. Are you 30-45 years her senior...yeah probably not a good match...but I know you guys just can't help trying haha.

8. If she's a Mistress/Domme and you're a Master/Dom...you're probably not what she's looking for. Comanding her to "be a good girl and write you back" will must assuredly make her want to stomp your balls and not in a good way.

9. Fetlife is a community. If you're only in groups to pick up women or check personal ads, this will probably reflect poorly on you.

10. Be ready for something real. If you have no intentions of ever formulating a real connection with her, then don't bother. BDSM is just as psychological as it is physical.

Above all...a little decency will go a long way. Good luck!

Rant: Who cares what you want anyway?

If you're a submissive male and you've signed yourself up for BDSM, you might as well signed in blood. You beg, plead, throw grown men tantrums, and all but cry to get the things you "want". But honestly it's never about what you want.

Part of your submissive appeal is that you are just that...submissive. If you haven't already, go look that up...I'll wait. Yes, see the part where it says 'submitting'? Ahh, glossed over that little bit did ya? Well next time re-read carefully! If you have been chosen to be under my heel then you better damn well get use to the smell of feet. I don't know about other Mistresses but I have usually picked my submissive because we have the same sexual interests or he has been foolish enough to list them as "willing to try anything." I might even have given him the chance to explicitly tell me the things he most enjoys.

Boys, that's your one and only cue to tell me what you want, other than that don't mention it! I am tired of submissives writing me with lists of the things they will 'only' do but stating I can do whatever I like with them. Today class we'll learn the lesson of an oxymoron. But seriously guys, your place is to be submissive...cater to our every whim, please when me even I say I don't really want it, and to anticipate ways to make me smile.

In return you will get our happiness...and isn't that enough to make your balls tingle?

A Mistress's fetishes

I've been focusing too much on all the negative thoughts about BDSM and want to get back to the things that make me happy within this realm.

These are some fetishes that I currently have

• Forced alcohol consumption
• Anal sex
• Ball slapping
• Begging
• Biting
• Breath play
• Chastity devices
• Choking
• Clothespins
• Collar and leashes
• Cutting off clothes
• Deep throating
• Face slapping
• Forced masturbation
• Hair pulling
• Licking
• Kidnapping
• Neckties
• Orgasm denial
• Pantyhose/Stockings
• PDA
• Phone sex
• Pinching
• Pussy slapping
• Sapiosexuality
• Scratching
• Semen fantasy
• Sleepy sex
• Spanking
• Tongue sucking
• Toys
• Voyeurism
• Whips

Fetishes I am curious about and/or want to try

• Body painting
• Branding
• Business suits
• Chains
• Feet on face
• Fetish wear
• Fisting
• Hypnosis
• Human dolls
• Impact play
• Mummification
• Objectification
• Panty sniffing
• Pegging
• Prostate massage
• Queening
• Rimming
• Strap-ons
• Spreader bars
• Spitting
• Water bondage