Blowjob: It's not always better than nojob

I had an interesting conversation last week via email where a friend of mine mentioned that he was happy to receive a blowjob after a long drought of

sex. He only had one complainant...it was a bad blowjob.

Every woman who takes the liberty of going down on a man thinks that her technique needs no work. That you, the man, should be grateful that she even went down on you. Unfortunately I have news for you ladies, you could probably use some much needed pointers. Some of these I've mentioned briefly before but this will more in depth.

So let's dive in:

FACT

Blowjobs are a lot a work but can still be fun.

FACT

Going down on your man is still illegal in 15 states, so treasure your naughty actions.

FACT

Not all women were created equal, sorry.

Now for the fun stuff. Basically a blowjob consist of two main techniques (both of which can be built upon), the suck-swallow and the deep throat. The suck-swallow is the easier of the two and the standard go-to but just because it's easier you shouldn't be giving him a yawn fest.

Remember these simple things when going down on a man:

LADIES

Breathe!

Since your mouth will be full during this activity remember to breathe thru your nose. It'll help you from gagging and needing to take frequent stops

Use Your Hands

Don't just hang your hands at your side during a bj, use those extra tools to help stimulate him in all the right places. But remember don't grab his balls too hard (unless he's into that). I try to stick to a "rolling" motion as if I were rolling out small balls of dough.

Pay Him Lip Service

It is a blowjob but don't forget to use those lips of yours for sucking, nibbling, and of course any tongue action you can provide. This will help keep him going while you give your jaw a break.

Get Comfy

Make sure you're in a position that gives you complete access to everything you want to touch without losing your balance. Being on your knees can be a drag after awhile so perhaps put a pillow under you.

Be Creative

Blowjobs are wonderful on their own...but if you want to give him something he'll be sure to remember you can try different things to enhance his experience. Ice cubs, humming with him your mouth, an Altoid. Try different things and see what he likes.

For the ladies that want to attempt deep throating beware: Not all women are created equal. Meaning, not all women have the ability to deep throat. The main technique of taking a cock deep is to suppress your gag reflex. If you're unable to do this you will suck, but not literally...literally you will gag. And honestly, that's not attractive. If you really insist on learning you can practice on a banana (don't be upset if you don't get it right away nor if you're just unable to do it) or you can cheat with this trick: while going as deep as you can on him, use your hand on the shaft to simulate an extended mouth. He probably won't even notice as he'll be in pure bliss.

And men, don't think you got off so easy. If you want a blowjob don't make it difficult for us ladies. Sometimes you are your own demises. Be courteous and follow these tips:

GENTLEMEN
Don't Hold Her Head

We are going as deep as we want to. Any head pushing makes you look like an ass, unless of course she places your hand on the back of her head, then gently push her deeper. If she resist, let up.

Groom, Groom, Groom

Tame the jungle that is your pubic hair. I hate swallowing a "furball" as I'm enjoying giving a good bj. It can turn her off or worse cause us to instinctively chew to get it out. Ouch!

Be Squeaky Clean

I shouldn't need to point this out, but after seeing guy after guy forget this important rule...WASH YOUR COCK! If it smells funny, is sticky, or extra dry looking...I'm probably going to head in the other direction (no pun intended). Oh, and don't forget under those balls!

Announce Your Arrival

Never cum in a woman's mouth without asking her. Period. I know you all get caught up in the moment but when you feel yourself getting close just say so. This isn't a porn. Also, it'll give her the option of pulling away or taking it like a champ.

Now everyone, go out and have fun sucking someone off.

And for the ultra considerate studs, here's a recipe of my own that even you're sure to love, to give you that extra sweet taste:

Miss L's Super Spunk Smoothie

1 cup pineapple, fresh or canned
1 banana, frozen
1 cup apple juice
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 TBS honey
Optional ingredients: 1 raw egg white, 2 TBS wheat germ, 2 TBS flax seed, 1 shot wheat-grass juice

Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth. 

Drink immediately. 

Repeat daily for best results. 

Takes about one week to go into effect.

Rant: Once you go black...

There is a phenomenon that I have noticed within the BDSM community that I cannot stay quiet about any longer. It's something that makes me stick out like a sore thumb at events, on websites, and even among fellow kinksters.

Being black.


Technically I'm mixed but I'm brown-skinned therefore most people just assume I am black.
I've noticed that I rarely come across black Dommes and even rarer are the black submissives.


My mother raised me to not judge others by the color of their skins. She'd often say, "I don't care if you have a friend who is blue, if they treat you nice that's all that matters." I have tried to live by this and like to think that my dating record shows that, it looks much like a United Benton ad campaign.

But when I stepped into the BDSM realm six years ago I realized I was a scarce minority. For the most part this has not been a problem. But on occasion it has been brought to my attention in a polite (and not so polite) way.
The few black Dommes that I do know are older...much older, most of them over 40. 
It made me wonder why is there such a lack of minority within this community?


I have my theories. One being that many of the black people I have encountered are quite religious. They aim to be a righteous folk, failing in many of the same areas of other religious people regardless of color, but they try none the less. I believe a lot of what BDSM has to offer would be looked upon as "heathen acts" or just down right sinning. There may also be some negative connotations about being "submissive" or a "slave" tied to BDSM due to their historical notions. And I do notice that black males are more apt to joining up with the scene. Not to mention the undaunted fact that many black people I know are un-accepting of something that is new, different, or strange. If it falls into any of those categories it can stay outside, in the streets, where it belongs.

I've gotten from a few black friends the rudely asked question: "What's wrong with you?" As if to say: You seemed normal growing up.

It's not even a question, since I don't believe they sincerely care about my answer. It's moreso a statement of incredulous disbelief that they shared string cheese with moi, this now crazy bitch. They let this leather clad monster in their home. Heck, they even told this whip wielding sex fiend some of their secrets. But mostly, I think they feel dirty when they ask this. They wonder how could they have ever considered me a friend?
I always assure them that there isn't anything wrong with me, that I am very physically and mentally sound and that this is something that I am choosing to do. But their wide eye, sideways glances tell me they think I am most definitely, not okay, and that I do have a few screws loose.


Then the next statement is what makes me want to groin kick some people.

"Oh, it must be a white thing." I hate this!
Why does something that doesn't make sense have to be tied to a certain race? Why can't it just be a "human thing" that they are too personally dense to grasp? The racial comments tied to my involvement with BDSM will not fade anytime soon I'm sure but I just wanted to make others aware that it is an issue. I like to believe that education and explanation is really the best policy for informing the general populace.
Submerging into BDSM has not always been an easy path to take. I've weeded out the close-minded minions that I knew, tried to remain ambiguous in my sexual desires, and generally stopped giving a fuck what people thought but at times it still irks me that things are the way that they are.