HNT #6

They might be short, they might chubby, but dammit they're all mine!
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Is there beauty in the breakdown?

It's funny how when you first embark on something new and unfamiliar you find yourself trying to predict what will befall you. Sometimes, I try to think of the most absurd things happening and then try to plan ahead for that. I am a planner with things that are important to me. I try to live life as freely as possible. I often take a 'Carpe Diem' stance on most things. 

But, if I've closed my eyes and pointed to a map to find my next destination place, I spend hours planning on what I'll do there. I'm a detail person. I also am a list maker (if you haven't noticed here in my blog). I like seeing things visually written out for me to better grasp what's going on, what will happen, and to also make sure I'm not forgetting anything that might make a difference. Six years ago when I decided I was going to give being a Mistress a real shot I was scared. Frightened, kept awake at night at the very thought that this was something beyond the unknown and unfamiliar.  

This would be changing the very essence of my life around to include something that I felt I wanted to partake in on a more serious level. I did spend innumerable amounts of time thinking of all the things good and bad that could happen. I wanted to be fully prepared for whatever this BDSM world had to throw at me. Most importantly I wanted to learn. I wanted to take in everything there was. I wanted to see, smell, touch, spank, and immerse myself fully into the lifestyle. And no, it didn't happen all at once. It's been 6 years and I am still learning. I am still finding out new things about the lifestyle and most certainly myself. In all my lists, planning, writing, and brainstorming, and what-ifs, I never thought of the one challenge I have stumbled upon.  

What if I fall in love?  

What if I find a slave that I cherish and love and want to spend more than just Mistress/slave time with? What if this person makes me laugh and smile? What if the very thought of this person's scent gives me butterflies in my stomach? What if a day without this person feels empty? What if I hurt that person? What if nothing I could do would make them fully recover?  

What if love just isn't enough?

I pride myself on being a logical woman. I don't cry over spilled milk easily. I most certainly don't get frantic about clothing and how other females view me. I don't need attention from men to know I love myself and I am beautiful. And that's the funny thing about make make a sane woman rather crazy. It literally turns the logical into the illogical. Feeling and doing are now on two separate ends of the spectrum. It seems logical: If my slave and I are having trouble, fix it. The end. It's not that cut and dry. Sometimes fixing an emotional problem takes more than emotional duct tape. This is the very thing I sometimes feared when life was mundane but forgot to include when the Mistress part of me took over.  

Sometimes, love just might not be enough....  

...and there are no comforting words to make you feel any better.
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It is complete but am I?


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Clothespins, spitting, and spanking...oh my!

For those of you who don't know my slave and I are embarking on a task this's a 24/7 Live-In environment trial. So far we are doing well and I like it very much. But usually before bed he has to complete a Nightly Ritual with me. It is pretty standard but whenever we get to the portion of him kissing my entire body and feet...that's where things heat up. It's usually pitch black (my bedroom has no windows) and as soon as he starts placing those tiny kisses that I have come to love so much everywhere I get a tingling all over. I can't describe it but each night this has led us to engage in about a 30 minute completely BDSM fueled session...all in the dark. 

Each night I have become increasingly more sadistic in my actions. I am actually doing the things I want to do with my slave and it feels amazing! I think the fact that the lights are off help (as I've stated I have trouble currently looking him in the eyes while I slap him in the face) but I am certain that I will be able to get past that with work.  

Last night he started placing the kisses and then began licking my ass cheeks, I love having my ass played with and this really got me going. I asked him if he wanted me and he said yes. I informed him that he could only have me if I could restrain him. It was there the fun started. I handcuffed him and bit all along his body. I do have an oral fixation and biting him is one of my favorite things, not only because it involves biting but also for the moans that he exerts when I do it. It's delicious! So I bit all over his body, his chest, his nipples, his thighs, his feet, his legs. 

Then I began lightly scratching him with my newly grown long nails. He really let out a moan when I did this. I kept grabbing his cock and giving it a few pumps and his free hand would follow after mine.  

"If you touch my cock again without asking I am going to give you a punishment point" I told him. "You no longer own this cock, do you understand?" I asked sternly.
"Yes, Mistress" was his faithful reply.
I leaned over him and placed a clothespin on each nipple. He thanked me. As I licked over his body I felt his hand travel down to MY cock again. 

I slapped him hard in the face. "What did I say slave?" I demanded.  

Before he could answer I ordered him to turn over. I spanked him hard while twisting the clothespins on his nipples (I also had removed one and placed it on his balls) and explained to him that this was MY cock, I decided when it was touched and in what manner. After spanking him until my hand stung I flipped him back over and sat on him. I inserted his now rock-hard cock inside of me. I was dripping wet. I rode him a little and made him say the things I love the most...all the while squeezing the clothespins harder.
"You own me Mistress, this is your body. You can do whatever you want to it. I am yours" he said breathlessly.  

"Yes slave, you are mine." I said after spitting in his mouth. 

I took the clothespins off and clipped them to his ears and bit his neck as I slowed my riding pace down. He moaned with ecstasy.  

"Do you like what your Mistress is doing to you slave?" I asked, already knowing the answer.  

"Yes Mistress" he managed to whisper out in between moans.  

I removed the clothespin and instructed him to open his mouth, which he did readily. I clipped it fast and hard onto his wet, slick tongue. This made him moan louder. His pain/excitement really was making me more wet. I dug my nails into his chest and worked my hips more. He was getting close to cumming I could tell as I felt his head swell inside of me. He tried to speak but the clothespin in his mouth made this difficult but I understood that he wanted me to get off of his cock before he came inside of me (a forbidden act). I laughed as he thrust his hips up to make me bounce off of him. I like knowing that when he's inside of me he can't control himself. This earned him another spanking similar to the one administered earlier.  

"You can't make your Mistress can't even last long for me" I berated him.  

"I'm sorry Mistress" was all he could muster.  

"Yes, I know, but now you will fuck me with the dildo. Go put on your collar and lease and do not make me cum with the dildo" I instructed him.
"Do you not want to cum Mistress" he asked.
I slapped him the face. "What did I say?" I quizzed him.
"Do not make my Mistress cum" he repeated.  

"Good boy, now get the dildo and don't ask questions" I ordered.  

He did as he was told and he began to fuck me slowly but deeply. I told him that I would not tell him when I was close. Part of being a good slave was to be able to read your Mistress's body like a book and that he was to only go by my actions as to whether I was close to orgasm. I told him if he made me cum I would punish him and give him punishment points. He said he understood and fucked me fast and hard, just the way I like. I was moaning and bucking my hips wildly trying to get more of the cock just as I was on the brink of orgasm he pulled out the dildo, now wet, from my pussy. 

  "You are doing a good job slave" I said as I pulled him close by his leash and gave him a kiss.
"Thank you Mistress" he replied.  

He did this several times before I told him to stop all together and get to bed. I didn't want my slave tired at work (at this time he only had 5 hours before he needed to get up for an 8 hour shift). I imagine my tugging on the leash also helped him know when I was close. But I am happy that he did as he was told. For once, I was happy not to orgasm.  

Maybe tonight I will make up for lost time...
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Cake eater

I've been thinking about all the things I enjoy about being a Mistress... 

-The flinching of a sub as I raise my paddle 
-The sound of spanking 
-The weight behind a collar tug (the sub following) 
-Seeing a sub on their knees 
-Thinking of creative punishments 
-Turning the idea of "slavery" around (not viewing it as a negative) 
-Giving a sub one look and watching them bow 
-The foot worshipping
-Perfecting the art of Tease & Denial 
-Undying devotion 
-Chastity, chastity, chastity
-Knowing that I know what's best
-Spitting in a sub's mouth 

...ahh...this is the stuff dreams are made of.
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HNT #5

Back after a little break..

Here's the girls in their safari wear =)

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Yes, Master

I kneel for no one. 
But tonight I did... I knelt for him; my slave. 

As part of an ongoing journal keeping exercise I assign tasks to my slave on a weekly basis. This week's task was a hard one: he was to be my Master for one day and I was to be his slave. I've never done this before with any slave of mine before but I felt this was imperative to our trust building among other things. So tonight we embarked on that task together. 

I spent the days leading up to this task mentally preparing myself for what may come as he jokingly said he felt sorry for my ass, each time he said this he'd tap my butt lightly and laugh. For those of you who don't know, before I was a Mistress I trained as a 24/7 live-in slave with one of the most sadistic, foul-minded, erratic, borderline psycho bitches I've ever known; the wonderful Mistress Hellfire. I was under her thumb for 7 grueling months. I personally wanted to know both sides of BDSM before I went full force into the realm. Those were the worst 7 months of my life... 

But that is exactly what led me to believe I could take anything my slave could dish out, because I knew I had already and then some. I set out to be the perfect (or at least near perfect) slave for the evening. I dolled up and wore my old slave jewelry and put on pasties. After psyching myself up for the final hour before my slave (now Master) arrived I went into my bedroom, got into the worship position as far as I could, my nose touching the ground. I placed my collar and leash in front of me and awaited his arrival. What the fuck was I thinking? Could I really do this? I asked myself. But, it was too late as I heard the door click shut and I saw his shadow enter. 

I could tell he was already impressed with my stance. He immediately gave me 20 minutes of free time. I think he was still psyching himself up for this too. After light chit-chat we were off, in our opposing roles. He made me lay face down and began to tease my pussy. He asked why I was always so wet. "Because I'm always thinking of you Master" was my answer. He seemed pleased with this. After awhile he began performing one of his best feats, cunnilingus. I squirmed and squealed with delight but did not come, he had not given me permission to come. Then he flipped me over. He began spanking me. Lightly at first, but then harder. As he spanked I thanked him. He alternated between spanking and whipping me then placing extra wet kisses on my cheeks, my ass was alternating between hot stinging and cool wetness. After 30 minutes or so he went to take a smoke (something he is not allowed to do as my slave). He gave me permission to roam my house freely. 

I went to see the bf in the other room and showed him my ass. 

"Is it red?" I asked quizzically, winching as I lifted my robe for him to see. 

"Well, you know that ass rouge you've been looking at, you don't have to purchase it." I gave him a squinted look of anger. 

"But yes, it's red" he answered. 

Ahh, leave it to the bf to have a cheesy joke handy.

When Master returned he advised me that we would be going out to get food. I was to get dressed, quickly he had said. When I reached for my bra he slapped it out of my hand and said "Just wear a t-shirt". He said I could speak freely while we ate and I did. I joked with him that I would be getting revenge for everything he did today so he should live up this once in a lifetime opportunity.

After eating and once at home, he became more hands-on. He instructed me that I was now never to close my legs, his pussy was always to be visible. Then he fucked me hard and fast with my favorite dildo. When I was nearing orgasm he stopped suddenly and licked my inner thighs before slapping them bare handed. He rubbed my pussy hard and then made me suck the juices from his fingers before he rammed his cock into me, he kept spreading me open wide. I was on all fours and he kept pulling me back onto his dick. 

All I could do was moan in pleasure. He then ordered me to sit on his face as he flicked my clit with his tongue. It was queening at its finest. He then took the dildo that had been inside me and made me suck it. He kept going deeper than I wanted (I was on my back and this was a hard position to deep throat a plastic dildo) and eventually he made me hold the dildo in my mouth by wedging it where he wanted it. Just when I thought I couldn't hold it any longer he'd take it out and fuck me with it or let me suck it more before wedging it back in. He was tweaking and sucking on my nipples but the last time he placed in my mouth my jaws were getting tired and when he moved to play with my pussy and thighs the dildo began to tip sideways. 

I didn't want to grab it or else he'd notice but as soon as the dildo touched my chest he looked up. 

"What's this slave?" he asked removing the dildo from my mouth. 

"I am sorry Master," I said sheepishly. 

"Why did you drop it?" he asked sternly. 

"It was too heavy Master" I replied. 

"Turn over," was his only response. I did as I was told and he began spanking me again. 

This time much harder than before. The sounds echoed throughout the room. I slowly slipped into a place in my mind I thought I had forgotten existed. A place where I was able to tune out the pain and only feel numbness. With each heavy-handed slap I knew I was never going to be a sub or a slave. I knew that I had picked the right side. 

My pussy juice dried up...I didn't feel like fucking, I felt like fighting! He asked me if I liked what he was doing. I lied. I said I liked everything my Master did to me. In honesty I wanted to slap him (and not in the good kinky way). I'm not sure if it was my general demeanor or his good slave intuition but after 10 minutes of this he said he wanted to call this task complete. He said he couldn't do anymore. This didn't come a moment too soon as I had my fist clenched up, ready to swing. After I confirmed we were done with the task I flipped him over and gave him a few hard spanks and slaps and I ran off to have a cigarette....and I don't even smoke!

I could see the fear in his eyes as he followed me outside where I was puffing for all the cigarette was worth. He looked worried as I paced the backyard half-naked and barefoot.

"I'm fine slave" I reassured him.

As much as I felt very flight or fight during the 4 hour exercise, I am glad to have done it. It just cemented that going from Mundane to Mistress was one of the best choices of my life.
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Training day

My slave and I are training again....and it brings a smile to my face and a crack in my whip. I'll be devoting some time to properly track our progress. If you're interested please check it out the new blog when I make it available to the public. It'll be updated regularly and accurately.
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