Just say when

Some friends of mine had a heated debate regarding safewords.

Some people hate safewords, feeling that they restrict the natural flow of the relationship and their play time.

Others don't understand their proper place and find them amusing.

While the majority of people use safewords to well...feel safe.

Safewords are pre-determined word(s) or a phrase said at intervals at which you'd like your play partner to alter their actions in a more forgiving manner to prevent any harmful damage.

My stance is that every relationship no matter how old, complicated, or linear in its intentions should acquire a safeword.

The tried and true "Safe, sane, and consensual" saying holds some leverage. If you do want to participate in something that at least appears to be sane then deciding on a safeword is a great start.

I asked a few people what their safewords were and got an electic mix.

There were the usual suspects:

Green=Keep going
Yellow=Slow down

Some non-traditional ones such as:


And the oddly overly prevalent food ones:

Blueberry pancakes

I'm not sure what it says about us kinksters that our minds go to off-the-wall foods for safewords but it's funny to imagine them being yelled out mid-scene.

If you happen to be gagged or have a set of limbs tied you can always use the "tap out" method, or if your eyes are visible use blinking as a safeword. Make sure to discern what means what prior to play. And hopefully you don't have an extra sadistic partner who will revel in delight at your attempts for plea.

That's not to say all relationships will have use for their safewords but it's always nice to have one handy...in case they're tied.
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"Roleplaying" test results (Week 4)

Roleplaying for me is like a lavish meal, if all the details aren't in place it falls flat like biscuits with no butter. So this week's training was especially a fun one for me as anytime I get to flex my creative skills I'm happy. Thru a convoluted series of questions and mysterious phone calls I narrowed writer sub and I's two roleplaying scenarios down for the week.

First up, we had Mad Scientist/Experimentee. This was the first time I'd ever really roleplayed something like this but it turned out fun for us both. My idea of a mad scientist teetered between Magic School Bus wacky and something that would make Doc Brown smile. Thankfully my "experimentee" took it all like a good little patient.

Secondly we roleplayed Secret Past/Blackmailer. In this instance I had some damaging information about his character and he had to convince me not to release it within his personal and professional life. This one was done solely with a webcam, messenger, and our cellphones. I actually took on the role of a male blackmailer which was an interesting twist that I hadn't planned beforehand.

During the week I as well asked him to read some designated material on roleplaying and its nuances and he was tested on the reading and his roleplaying performances (was he convincing? did he stay in character? did he make good use of costumes or props? etc).

No extra credit was given this week. Those have been privileges that I've afforded him. I also threw in some submissive position review and much to my surprise writer sub hadn't forgotten them!

That's why it's no surprise my star pupil scored well above the minimum passing grade of a 75% with a score of...

Total Score :        95 /100        Pass     

You've passed the halfway mark with flying colors writer sub!! I'm so proud of you. I hope you're ready for your Etiquette training next week =)
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Sadie? Check! Sexy? Double check!

If you don't know who Miss Sexie Sadie is then educate yourself. The short version: She's a fellow sexy Blogger who has funneled all of her determination and sexy "tales" in an eBook for us to enjoy. If you don't mind the f-word, detailed sexescapades, self awareness, and overall sexy cougar hunts then this book is for you. Two days, three hot flashes, and a whole lot of laugh-out-louds later I read her book cover to cover. Sadie takes you through the roller coaster she has called life, so strap in and get ready for one wild ride!

Sadie even had a brief encounter with BDSM...here's an excerpt:

I knew nothing about BDSM until we opened our marriage and I started writing about it a year later. Writing my own salacious experiences led me to a community that I didn’t even know existed. And joining that wide-reaching, sex-positive community enabled me to widen my lens to a whole new spectrum of experience. 

And after some time in the community, I thought that I’d seen, or at least heard about it all. But one night I was taken aback. I was left slightly bewildered. I might even say that I was stunned.

My stupefaction asserted itself at a place one might expect it to, at an S&M party I had attended with a friend. But it wasn’t for a reason that I would have expected. I was not distressed at all by the man who was dragging a sharp knife down the back of a naked woman as she giggled in delight. The guy in the corner with the torch, hovering over a bare-fleshed woman, gave me no pause. I was not bothered in the least by the sight of men on leashes or women bound in rope, or the announcement of waterboarding being the consensual cruciation in an upcoming scene. The concentrated, merciless slaps and the cries of anguish combined with resolute pleasure that emanated from each corner of the house didn’t leave the mark upon my psyche like the imprint of a couple whose discernibly precious adoration for each other transcended all of the sadistic, prurient activity that surrounded me.

As the woman stood facing a St. Andrew’s cross—her wrists shackled high above her, feet free from constraints—he beat her. Over and over again he beat her with implements of all sorts. With PVC pipe. With a rubber bat. With his fists. With stair treads. With a flogger. No part of this scene, neither his torture nor her apparent enjoyment of it, caught me off guard. This was what the party was all about, after all. But what did catch me by surprise was when, after he had been pounding her bare ass until it was red and welted and she was shrieking with both agony and felicity, he wrapped his free hand around her neck and pulled her face towards him so that he could kiss her—tenderly—in what might have been the most intimate display of caring affection and nurturing adoration I had seen in a very long time.

I turned to the person I was with, the friend who had brought me there, and whispered, 

Wow. He really, truly, loves her.

And it was true. I could see it. And with each crack of the bat that he struck against her backside after this sweet but brief interlude, I could also feel it. And it surprised me. Caught me off guard. Unexpectedly.

And I realized that it must take guts, lots of guts, as well as a strong sense of self and a heaping handful of respect, to be able to strap a person we love to a cross and beat the crap out of their ass simply because they want us to. Or because, it gets us off. Or both.

It was about then that I recognized a familiar feeling, one that completely stunned me.


And that was when I understood exactly what BDSM was all about.

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Rules are meant to be broken...and so is your ass

I want to see you.

The five words stared up at me from my phone, silently beckoning me to me respond. But I ignored it for two days.

Please see me.

This text 48 hours later seemed more honest. He was begging and I liked that as I was deciding whether or not to ignore this one another one popped up interrupting my decision: 

I need you Miss L, please.

What about what I need?
I replied back.

You need me and I am yours.

He was definitely going all in this round but that didn’t get the Congressman off the hook so easy. We had rules set in place for safety but flat out standing me up was more than I could take. The last time we had slated to meet the Congressman stood me up with not even so much as a hint as to why or when I’d hear from him again. I sat in the hotel lobby looking like a stray glove, alone and misplaced on the couch for three fucking hours before I lost my patience.

No he’d have to do better than some cheesy lines.

Prove it, I texted back rapidly.

Anything, name it and it yours as am I, he replied almost as quickly. 

I sat and thought for a brief moment.

Book a room at the Hilton downtown, get their most expensive room, I won’t settle for less..and this time put it in your name.

Time ticked by and I received no response from him. Had he promised more than he could offer?

Two hours later: Room #_____ awaits your presence, will you grace us with it?

I called the hotel to confirm that their most expensive suite was booked and currently occupied for the day and texted back a simple, No.

He called me immediately and pleaded with me to see him, apologized for missing our last meeting and promised he would never make that mistake again. I told him that I’d see him on one condition, he would be punished. This punishment would be to any extent I wanted as long as it was contained to the room we were in.

“Yes Miss L, I deserve to be punished for disappointing you,” he whispered quietly into the phone.

I got dressed in one of the sluttiest outfits I could muster for early afternoon and trekked downtown to the hotel.

Once I arrived, I made a big show of letting the desk know I was there for his room, even going as far as to name him and say, “Oh did he already pay for the two hours we’ll need the room?”

The concierge blushed but assured me the entire day had been paid for in full, not just an increment of time.

Next time I want him to think twice before deserting me. I thought aloud as I took the elevator up.


I rapped on the large polished wood door before he swung it open. He was still dressed in his suit and went to greet me with a kiss on the cheek but I turned away giving him a look of Seriously? I don’t think so.

“I’m sorry Miss L, I just…I didn’t...” he stammered after reading my face.

“Shut up gay boy,” I said sharply shutting the heavy door a bit harder than needed.


He jumped a little.

“Are your nervous? Did the door scare you? Do I scare you?” I asked him in a mocking tone. I threw my purse and coat bag down in the chair as I walked over to him and grabbed his balls thru his grey dress pants.

“Yes Miss L, I don’t like you angry. I am sorry I displeased you,” he said as he looked down to the floor.

“Take off your clothes and get on your knees to plead your case before I administer punishment,” I said plopping down in the wing back chair in the corner. He didn't hesitate like before, he just started stripping. As he undressed I watched him closely but also surveyed the room we were in. For their most expensive suite this was rather impressive, rich dark wood furnishings, flat screen television, completely granite bathroom, high-back chairs, but I had seen better.

He was finished and on his knees. I walked in a circle around him and placed my hand on the back of his head, shoving it down so that he looked at the ground. This was the first time I had seen him naked and I wanted to inspect every glorious inch of him as it would appear he took care of his body…damn good care. I pulled him by his ear back towards the chair I sat in. Something about sitting in a chair with a man kneeling in front of me has always turned me on. Maybe it's the mild Basic Instinct feeling to it or maybe I just like seeing a man kneel...but I sure do enjoy the view. I kicked my shoes off into his chest. The pointy heels left little red marks on him but he didn’t seem to notice as he cradled my right foot in his hand and begin kissing it all over.

I smacked him in the side of his head, “Who said you could have the privilege of kissing my feet?”

He stammered again but ultimately said meekly, “No one, I am sorry Miss L…forgive me, I just want to please you.”

I believed him as I had never seen him this docile since we’d met. Without his witty banter, expensive suits, and come hither look he was reduced to this...and I liked this.

Our last meeting was for a fitting. I had decided that I enjoyed the Congressman’s legs so much that I wanted to accentuate them…with a dress. I was making him a Queen of Hearts dress that I wanted him to wear, full of ruffles and girlish goodness. But he never showed up. 

I had brought the dress with me today, along with my telephone, which I planned to use for pictures. He had promised recently that if I took pictures without his face, he would be comfortable with that level of exposure and I was holding him to his word on this.

“Tell me why you failed to show up last meeting?” I grilled him as I placed my pantyhose-clad foot on his shoulder pressing my toes on him roughly.

“I wanted to meet you Miss L, I did. But, something came up at work and I had no way to reach you and I assumed once I had missed it that you would never see or speak to me again. I’ve been working up the nerve to see if you would since then. I have to leave today during our meeting to attend to work for an hour or so but I want to come back if you’ll let me and resume our time together,” he said all of this at once, the words falling out like sugar from a spoon.

His excuse wasn’t pretty but it was the truth and I could see he felt bad, still…there would be repercussions.

“Don’t ever do that again. Do you understand Congressman? Next time you pull a stunt like that you can forget about me ever acknowledging you again,” I spat the words at him sternly.

He nodded and said, “Of course.”

I learned that he had to leave in only 30 minutes for something for work but told him he’d be going back with a red ass. I was going to allow him to return afterward for the dress fitting but before that he would take his punishment like a good little boy.

I made him get back on his knees and I stood before him. I lifted up my skirt slowly to mid-thigh and then reached under and removed the silk panties I wore.

“Open up,” I said pointing to his mouth. He did as he was told and I stuffed them in his mouth and directed him to bend over the bed.

He assumed the position, hands tucked under him, mouth full of semi-wet panties and awaited punishment while I walked over to his pile of clothing and removed his belt from his pants lying on the ground. 

“Whatever punishment you receive, I will be posting on my blog, do you understand? I want my readers to know what happens to bad Congressmen who disrespect Mistress L,” I said casually. He nodded agreeing.

I scratched my nails down his bulbous bottom, which caused him to goosebump and then I wielded the belt in my right hand and began punishing him. He turned red quicker than I thought but I continued nonetheless alternating between my hand and the belt. He would clench up and wiggle a little but he hardly made a sound. I beat him until it was 10 minutes prior to his leaving and then rubbed his ass with an ice cube from the ice bucket after snapping a picture of my handiwork.

I removed the panties from his mouth and he worked his jaws out a little, and blinked back glassy eyes before smiling at me.

He thanked me as he got dressed but I think he hardly noticed that I had kept another one of his belts…just adding it to the collection.
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"Skills & Crafts" test results (Week 3)

For his third week writer sub was put to a more comprehensive test. He was taught a series of skills and crafts thru video, demonstration, and reading. It was his objective to not only be exposed to these skills and crafts but to also retain the way they were taught and expected to be repeated in their exact (or near exact) manner. The sections were longer and I felt this was a more common sense test so only one section could be missed for a passing score of 80%:

SKILLS: Cleaning
Living Room

X SKILLS: Massage  
Demonstrate techniques shown in video on Mistress L for 15 minutes

SKILLS: Cooking/Baking
Successfully complete baking recipe so that it is edible and enjoyable

CRAFTS: Sewing
Complete pot holder for Mistress L

Complete decoration and personalization of a small wooden storage box

He only missed one section due to lack of time but made up for it by answering all extra credit questions correctly for his final score:

Total Score :        95 /100        Pass     

Congratulations writer sub!! Keep up the outstanding work. Next week's training is sure to be a fun week =)
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A little manners go a long way

This was his second week of testing. Writer sub had impressed me the previous week with his perfect score but somehow I knew this week, taking a test based solely on facts about me he might not do perfectly.  But I’m a complicated woman and I knew watching him take the test over his shoulder would increase an already pressure inducing situation. I can be evil sometimes.

I knew what his score was before he finished but refused to let on one way or another. Not telling him things I know he wants to know exerts my power. And after having him read an erotic story that contained some boy-on-boy action I told him to stand up, hands behind his back. I then blindfolded him, removed the panties (see Thursday) he wore and began to wrap his hands and arms together with bondage tape. I’ve found that blindfolds work wonders in certain D/s scenes. For me I get to avoid the pleading look that sometimes comes with spankings and for the submissive they get to focus on what I’m saying and what I’m doing. My breasts can be distracting and being the thoughtful Mistress I am, I take that into consideration haha.

I ran my hand over his chest and buttocks inspecting him as I walked around him in a circle and tweaked his nipples a little until they stood erect. Then I placed a clothespin on each of them and gave a light squeeze.

He sucked in his breath and then let out a beautiful moan. Yes, that’s the sound I was waiting for.

I directed him to lie down on the ottoman near his feet. This placed him in quite the position: clothes-pinned nipples rubbing against the edge of the ottoman, hands tied, ass up.


I used my dominant hand to spank his bare bottom. I grabbed Bianca from the shelf and gave him 20 or so smacks to both cheeks. They were beginning to pink but not enough. I scratched his back and bit his bottom , really sinking my teeth into his succulent flesh. He moaned again, arching his back.

I started to tease his ass hole as I know he’s an anal slut. At first I would spank his bottom and then run my hand over it, ever so carefully nearing his puckered pinkness. A few minutes of this and his member was already standing at attention in the hand I had wrapped around it. I inched closer to his asshole now rubbing my hand just on the outer rim. His moans now sounded more desperate.

The vibrating egg I had next me was what I reached for as I rubbed it around his hole. He wriggled now, trying to back into it but I kept pulling it away just as he would get near. I looked around at his face and saw him biting his lip and smacked his exposed cheek just to see it jiggle. His ass was a pleasing rouge color now. Taking both hands I pried open his cheeks more, to expose him to me and then I spit directly into his anus, thrusting the egg vibrator in immediately after.

This delighted him as he started to fuck the egg as best he could with his hands tied and on his knees. I pushed it in a little deeper and watched him accommodate it with ease. I would occasionally increase the intensity of the vibrations with the attached remote control just to hear his groaning fluctuate.  We went on like this for awhile, spanking, thrusting, wriggling, stroking, biting before I realized he could be getting close to coming and there would be none of that today.

“Kneel,” I commanded.

He lifted up from the position he was in and I took the spot his head had laid. I sat in front of him now with my legs spread, wrapped around his thighs and guided him closer towards me. I was eye level with his still pinned nipples and decided to use that as an advantage (then again, when doesn’t the Mistress have an advantage?).

I gripped the ends of the clothespins on his nipples with my teeth and applied pressure causing them to tighten even more. He squealed a little. I removed them and begin sucking on his obviously sore nipples, he seemed to enjoy this more, so I put them back on and flicked him a little with my hand.  Standing up I walked around him again, sucking on his neck, scratching his belly and back, causing him to verbally expel his desire in animalistic sounds.

“The words you’re looking for are ‘Thank you’”, I reminded him.

“Thank you Miss L,” he obediently replied in between pleasing sighs.

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In his words #1

“Did you bring what I asked?” Miss L asked me Sunday night.

I didn’t exactly have the words to tell her that I had gone through my house and bagged all of my male underwear and put them in a shopping bag per her instructions. So I simply handed the bag over to her.

“Yes, Miss L.”

“Good,” she said. She took the bag and put it down near the ottoman where I normally kneel.

She went straight into my testing. I had to learn all of my submissive positions for that day, and it was my first official test as her submissive-in-training and I could see the sparkle in her eye.

What followed was a quick lightning round of positions, and I quickly did each one, hoping that I had remembered correctly and did it fast enough to please her. I wanted to do well that night and I had studied several times throughout the week.

She checked off each position as I completed them, making notes about each part of the test. After we were finished, she told me she would be posting the test results on her blog after I left, so that I would know how I did. I hoped it was well.

“Get on your hands and knees,” She said. I complied, feeling how exposed I was.

She began to spank, pinch and bite me. Mostly on my bottom, which was arching high into the air. I felt so exposed. So vulnerable. And as her long fingernails traced their way over my reddening bottom and between my spread cheeks, I could feel myself getting hard.

“Oh, is someone enjoying this,” She asked.

“Yes Miss L. Very much.”

And she continued, spanking and biting and kneading. Every so often she would reach in between my legs and stroke my cock for a minute before letting go, getting me more and more worked up. I kept my eyes closed half the time.

“Do you want to cum?” She asked.

“Yes Miss L, I really do.” I said.

“If you cum you need to lick it all up. Do you think you can do that?” She asked.

At the moment I knew I wanted to. I had never done it before, but I knew it was something she wanted to see, and it was something I had always been too scared or ashamed to try. I nodded my head and agreed. She ordered me into the sitting position and told me to stroke myself. I started, getting myself harder and harder.

“Faster slut."

I picked up the pace, and before I knew it, I was spurting into my hand. More cum than I had in a while. I caught it in gobs on my hand. I looked up and locked eyes with her for a moment, and I looked at my hand and started lapping it up, making sure I got as much of it as possible in my first try.

“Good boy,” Miss L said.

It tasted like paste, and it lacked a lot of flavor. It was sticky and thick, and as I finished licking my hand, I realized it would probably not be the last time I tasted myself (it wasn’t!).

“Did you enjoy that?” Miss L asked?

“Yes, Miss L.”

“Good, do you want a drink?” she asked. One of the qualities I adored in my Mistress was that I knew she cared about me, and showed it in all sorts of small ways. I was thirsty, and she let me get a drink as we moved into the next portion of the evenings entertainment – board games! We were beginning the training for next week-Know Your Mistress.

We played a game based on gender roles and I was on the female team, while Mistress and her roommate were on the male team. For the next 45 minutes or so we did our best to finish a game based on negative gender stereotypes and flawed assumptions about gender, laughing almost the whole time. Mistress has a great laugh too.

Whenever I made a particular sexist joke, she would pinch my bare thigh, reminding me that I was playing the game in an undershirt and panties.

We moved onto Scattergories, which I had never played, but had a blast. I recommend it for anyone looking for word games to play and not for a 3 hour long board game. It was a blast. (I won!).

But after that, it was the end of the evening, and before I left, Miss L gave me some panties to wear throughout the week.

After all, I had given her all my boy underwear.

But I am sure you already know that.

writer sub

Edited for approval by: Mistress L 
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"Know Your Mistress" test results (Week 2)

This week writer sub went thru training to better get to know me. I believe it is a crucial part of a healthy D/s relationship that both parties take the time to reveal themselves as people. While titles are fun and great for establishing the guideline of your partnership, without well-rounded people behind them, they are merely that, just titles.

I provided him with a study guide filled with random facts and tidbits about myself and my preferences. Throughout the week I also gave him various tasks such as designing me an ideal dinner with recipes he'd choose, incorporating certain types of speech in his daily dealings, finding and reading me erotic stories, etc.

Today was his test. He was given a 25 questions test and extra credit questions (as I was feeling generous) and told he had 20 minutes to complete it.

As always a score lower than 70% will result in repeating of the weekly training.

Nailing two of the three extra credit questions...

-What is Miss L's bra size?
-What is Miss L's favorite sexual position?
-What is Miss L's tattoo of?

...brought him up to an adequate score of
Total Score :       92/100         Pass

Congratulations writer sub, your Mistress is very pleased! 

Next week is Skills & Crafts...goodie!
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Writer sub is becoming the perfect little sissy, wouldn't you say? I think I'll officially be changing Friday to my favorite day of the week haha. Enjoy the view!


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"Submissive Positions" test results (Week 1)

The submissive in training will perform the following slave positions in less than 30 seconds. Any position not performed within that time-frame will count as a miss. Ten positions will be issued, only 3 can be missed, a score lower than 70% will result in a repeat of weekly training and testing unless otherwise decided by Mistress L. All positions are to be performed in the manner that Mistress L has taught:

1. Worship

2. Table

3. Inspection

4. Attention

5. Close

6. Kneel

7. Punishment (#2)

8. Go To Your Spot

9. Lay Down

10. Stop
Total Score :       120/100         Pass

Extra Credit: Exam (worth 20 points)

Congratulations writer sub, you have pleased this Mistress with your results, you will be rewarded upon our next visit!
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My teacher's pet

I'm doing this for him.

I've been growing my nails out for him.

It's nice to do things for someone again...someone who will appreciate it.

Painting and picture taking are always easier with short nails but scratching a succulent sub's body is more fun, so I grow them for him.

He doesn't know it and he didn't ask me to but I have been.

So much has happened in such a short amount of time but it's still shiny and new so it remains exciting to talk about.

Try as I might I'm still holding on to the notion that he will change his mind, remember he's a switch and loves being dominant more than submissive, thinks I'm not Mistressy enough for him, or any number of reasons that could lead to his disappearance from my life. I'm trying not to hold other submissive's mistakes against him. A few bad subs don't make the whole batch of them rotten right?

Writer sub and I have started his official training (read: Attempting to mold him into a good submissive for me). We previously decided that we would do a 60 day probationary period; I've designed 8 weeks of training for him. Each Sunday we'll start his designated training, follow up with it throughout the week in various ways, and the following Sunday I will test him. His results will be available here, on this blog only, every Sunday evening. Sometimes you dear readers will know how well he's done even before he does! Any test he fails, he will retake thus only setting himself back. At the end of the 60 days there will be an all encompassing test of all the training we've covered. This factored with our chemistry will solely determine whether we continue our relationship.

It may seem like a lot but I feel it is a small price to pay for what he will be getting in return: a fully competent, attentive, and creative Mistress. What more could a plump-bottomed subby boy want?

This week his training was slave positions. I have taught him 20 different positions. Between Bianca and myself we have worked his ass red going thru them over and over again. I tied him, untied him, spanked him, bit him, belted him, scratched him, pulled his hair, nibbled his nipples..all in the name of education of course! So, I have every confidence that he will impress me (and not disappoint Bianca's hard work) by passing with flying colors.

Stay tuned for results on Sunday!
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