Dear Diary #1

**Trigger warning: This is a re-telling of an intense domestic violence roleplay we engaged in. Please do not read any further if you may be triggered by things falling under that umbrella. Thank you.**

Getting pretty for Mistress...
Well I'll just get right to it. Tonight I got my ass beat. It was my fault if I'm being honest. Mistress had been away for a week on business, and I knew that she was getting home. I knew what time, I knew what she wanted and what she expected, I knew everything and I got it so wrong. I got distracted watching our new television, (honestly that's how I spent most of my week) and totally got my timings messed up. I knew Mistress wanted dinner ready , her glass of wine waiting , and most importantly me dressed up in one of her favourite outfits.

As I realised I was way behind schedule I quickly began trying to tidy the house, get dinner and myself ready. The dinner was in the oven, and I had just jumped out the shower when I heard the familiar cry of "Honey, I'm home" 

'Oh god', I thought​. I was overwhelmed with excitement Mistress was home, but I knew this wasn't up to standard. 

"What the fuck is this?" She asked coldly, pointing toward my bathrobe outfit. 

She cut me off with a raise of her finger and finished her glass of wine in one gulp, without taking her eyes off me. I suddenly felt scared, I knew she was angry. She finished her glass and let it fall to the marble floor. It exploded into hundreds of sharp pieces. I screamed aloud and jumped back.

All the while she was doing she this, she screamed and shouted at me. She told me she didn't need this shit, that she could find a better wife in a week, that I was making her into a laughing stock in our neighbourhood. I hoped desperately none of the neighbours could hear, I'd be so ashamed if they knew this is what I had pushed her into doing. I knew some of the other wives got punished by their husbands, but I thought I was better. 

The beating continued for I don't know how long. I was bruised and crying, when Mistress left the room, with one simple line as she left which sent a shiver down my spine. I can't even bring myself to write what it was, but let's just say i knew that I had no choice but to remain in that room until she returned. I curled up into a ball on the bed, and waited, not moving before her to return. I knew it was my fault, I knew she didn't enjoy doing this to me, but I just wanted it to stop. 

Minutes later I heard her coming back to the room. I tried talking when she arrived, but she stopped me, looking uninterested. Just when I thought it was over she launched at me again, wrapping her hands around my throat. She was on top of me, squeezing harder and harder. I tried to fight.
"It'll be easier for us both if you just relax and accept it," she whispered darkly into my ear.
I closed my eyes accepting it but just as I was about to pass out she let go, and I gasped for air. Seconds later I felt her strong and powerful fingers wrap around my neck again, her nails digging against my throat. I had no fight in me this time, I heard her shouting at me.

"Look at what you're making me do? You think I like this Josy? Huh? Huh!" 

I began to fade out, my eyes closed as I felt as sense of calm for the first time since this had all began, less than an hour ago. I had passed out, and when I came back to seconds later Mistress had got off the bed. I felt light headed and weak. I tried sitting up but couldn't. I felt a hand on the back of my head, it guided me down, and then I realised Mistress wanted me to suck her cock. I think punishing me had excited her, and she positioned herself on the bed so she was able to make me gag and gasp, as she used my mouth. 

This carried on for a few minutes.

"Show me what a good little whore are. Show me you still have some use to me," she shouted at me.

I bent over the bed, and even though I was sore, and frightened, I offered myself to her. I felt her cock rubbing against my pussy and she quickly penetrated. Normally she would be gentle with me, but not this time. She fucked me hard and fast, caring little about my cries and pleads for mercy. When I couldn't take it anymore I tried to moved away, but Mistress told me to take her cock. I moved back and she continued fucking me hard as I  half moaned, half cried  into the pillow. When she was done, she pulled out and left the room and I fell onto the floor, feeling like a used little slut. 

When Mistress returned this last time she pulled me to my feet.

"I wanna be done with this. I'm going to hit you just three more times, just to make sure you understand," she said with a seriousness that hadn't wavered all night.

She told me if I accepted, this would be over. 

"Thank you," I  closed my eyes and whispered. 

The hits got harder and harder, all across my face and I crumpled to the floor, tasting blood in my mouth. Mistress told me to clean up in the punishment room, get myself together, and to let her know when dinner was ready. I laid on the floor for a couple of minutes before getting up, and then began cleaning. I was so sore and so weak, but knew I had to do a good job. After that we ate dinner, we talked, Mistress seemed happy again, and we didn't say one word about what had just happened. It was as if once the punishment was over, all was forgiven. We even had a glass of wine together after dinner, before Mistress fell asleep. 

I am now sitting at my vanity mirror, writing this entry, and looking at my left eye. I know Mistress will be furious if I get a black eye. We have dinner with the Coopers tomorrow night, and I have to look my best. Anyway, I really must sign off, I have to be up early tomorrow morning to make Mistress's breakfast, and make sure the house really is 100% clean and ready for her. If Mistress really is going to make my dream of opening our own B&B happen, I'm going to have to prove to her 

I  can at least keep our house perfect. 

Sissy Josy