What Bianca wants, Bianca gets

I'm not usually superstitious but I've been waiting to announce my most recent happenings.

"...we have to squeeze a lot of frogs before we find that prince who says "Thank you, Mistress harder."

I couldn't have said it a moment sooner as I believe I have found a potential submissive. In actuality he is a switch (why was I so adamant against them in the first place?) and he has the perfect mix of what I've been looking for.

I've been telling myself that I didn't need certain things within a BDSM relationship but I'm tired of putting up a fight. I'm glad I held out for someone who is poly, has a good personality, and generally doesn't have a lot of limitations on what they are willing to try and he's a fellow writer. Did I mention he has a disarming smile and spankable bottom to boot?

Ms. Bianca

I've been holding my breath all along the way thinking that he'd turn out to be just another frog but he surprised me!

Today we met to finalize some things before beginning his "official" training. Me being me, I presented him with a few pages of self-made forms to gauge his interests on activities and interrogated him with a set of my own curious questions; I mainly wanted to see him squirm and to get into his head a little. I had ordered him to wear a tie and a pair of very skimpy pink panties to work and then to see me afterward. He was all smiles and and blushes when arrived but I immediately made him strip and get on his knees.

"I'll give you a tour," I announced as I lead him around my apartment by his tie.  This was the closest thing to a collar and leash that I had on hand but he eagerly followed.

We chatted as he filled out the papers and I kept my boot clad foot on his exposed ass. I couldn't resist spanking it with the ruler I so "conveniently" had in my hand but apologized for surprising him. Yes, I apologized, see how out of practice I am?

Before he left I introduced him to my friend Bianca. She can be a bit shy at first but once she warms up to you, she'll always give you just what you need.

I made him get on his knees and ask me proper, "May I feel Bianca please?" he asked looking up at me. 

I twirled her in my hands, feeling the cool leather. 

"Yes you may but first get on all fours," I answered.

He did as he was told and I leaned down getting closer to that perfectly round ass.

SMACK!
SMACK!
SMACK!

I worried I had smacked him too hard but he didn't react that way. Bianca gave him what he was craving and he whimpered out softly before I smacked the other cheek just as many times. Then I rubbed his ass lightly with Bianca's less intimidating side.

That's the beauty in Bianca, she has a soft side but she also has a fierce side that she's not ashamed to bring out at all the right times and tonight was the right time.

Slave, Subs, Tops, Bottoms, oh my!

I was having a very heated debate online today (and yes, I know arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics...) but sometimes I like to get my blood boiling.

Today was a just a mild disagreement, no harm was done =). But an ignorance just on the cusp of the scene was revealed to me. Many people do not know the difference between a sub/submissive and a slave.

Make no mistake there is a difference.

And anyone who has tagged themselves as either will gladly tell you so. As will the Dominants of those. Their relationship is often abbreviated D/s (usually with a lowercase for the submissive to show their role), also described as Tops and bottoms respectively.

So for edification I will give my own definition of the two. This is in no one way the only or correct definition, it is merely defined from my perspective:

Sub/Submissive/Bottom

Usually used to designate a person who is passive. They are usually on the receiving end of the relationship. They are obedient to an extent. They usually explain their limits to their Dominants (who respect them) and their role is merely a session for them. Once they are not in session (an increment of time spent with the Dominant) then they go about their day-to-day lives as normal. The time with the Dominant is commonly referred to as "play". They have a wide range of free will and usually only do tasks that they are comfortable with or have requested.

Slave

This is usually assigned to someone with a more intense acting-out of being a submissive. For them being a slave is not just "play" but more so a lifestyle. Their attitude or reactions to certain situations don't reflect being in the presence of the Dominant because they are always in "slave-mode". They usually go as far as being "trained" to please their Dominant, whereas many submissives just follow orders on a session-by-session basis. Slaves don't exhibit free will. They do whatever the Dominant commands (so long as it is not overly harmful)

Switch

I somewhat hate this term and concept but nonetheless it exists. This would be a person a who either a submissive or a Dominant depending on their current mood. It's handy in a large group when you need to even things out but personally I think it's unrealistic and somewhat confusing. Unless of course you pair two switches together, then everything is perfect!

Commonalities

Both slaves and submissives have submissive personalities. They are essentially allowing someone else to have temporary control over them. They both seek for someone to make decisions for them and to command them into various scenarios.

There's your brief lesson for the day readers, now remember this when a girl says she wants to be your slave not your submissive...means you can do more beautifully tragic things to her *evil grin*