Slave, Subs, Tops, Bottoms, oh my!
I was having a very heated debate online today (and yes, I know arguing on the internet is like running in the Special Olympics...) but sometimes I like to get my blood boiling.
Today was a just a mild disagreement, no harm was done =). But an ignorance just on the cusp of the scene was revealed to me. Many people do not know the difference between a sub/submissive and a slave.
Make no mistake there is a difference.
And anyone who has tagged themselves as either will gladly tell you so. As will the Dominants of those. Their relationship is often abbreviated D/s (usually with a lowercase for the submissive to show their role), also described as Tops and bottoms respectively.
So for edification I will give my own definition of the two. This is in no one way the only or correct definition, it is merely defined from my perspective:
Usually used to designate a person who is passive. They are usually on the receiving end of the relationship. They are obedient to an extent. They usually explain their limits to their Dominants (who respect them) and their role is merely a session for them. Once they are not in session (an increment of time spent with the Dominant) then they go about their day-to-day lives as normal. The time with the Dominant is commonly referred to as "play". They have a wide range of free will and usually only do tasks that they are comfortable with or have requested.
This is usually assigned to someone with a more intense acting-out of being a submissive. For them being a slave is not just "play" but more so a lifestyle. Their attitude or reactions to certain situations don't reflect being in the presence of the Dominant because they are always in "slave-mode". They usually go as far as being "trained" to please their Dominant, whereas many submissives just follow orders on a session-by-session basis. Slaves don't exhibit free will. They do whatever the Dominant commands (so long as it is not overly harmful)
I somewhat hate this term and concept but nonetheless it exists. This would be a person a who either a submissive or a Dominant depending on their current mood. It's handy in a large group when you need to even things out but personally I think it's unrealistic and somewhat confusing. Unless of course you pair two switches together, then everything is perfect!
Both slaves and submissives have submissive personalities. They are essentially allowing someone else to have temporary control over them. They both seek for someone to make decisions for them and to command them into various scenarios.
There's your brief lesson for the day readers, now remember this when a girl says she wants to be your slave not your submissive...means you can do more beautifully tragic things to her *evil grin*