I dare you

I knew what he wanted but I wouldn't give it to him.

He carefully placed his hand under my blanket now, rubbing just the underside of my cheeks as I lay face down. I lazily but rhythmically stroked his bare cock with my left hand, making sure to take care when nearing the head---his favorite spot.

His hands grew warmer as he tried to spread me apart ever so lightly but I wouldn't give.

He kissed the side of my face and my hair...an almost pleading in their meaning.

I laid perfectly still except for the stroking.

I felt his leg intertwine between mine and he nudged my foot with his. I could feel him wriggling his fingers just on the edge of my womanhood.

I was definitely getting wet now but I still would not open my legs for him.

Why am I so willing to submit to my vanilla lovers? Is it because I want to see just how animalistic they can get when they can have what they want? Is it because I want them to not be afraid to have their way with me? Or is it because every lady likes to be man-handled every now and then and taking control is much harder sometimes than relinquishing it?

His fingers grew impatient and he started kneading my ass and patting it, as if he wanted to spank me but didn't trust himself to do so without my usual permission and begging. He traced the line in the middle of my ass then danced over each cheek with his fingertips.

I knew what he wanted. His cock starting oozing a small bit of pre-come into my hand.

He reached up from my ass and began playing with the side of my exposed breasts. If I was an engine he wanted to warm me up before taking the drive.

I kept stoking his cock.

"Come on," I thought. "Take me!" I said in my head.

His cock throbbed in my hand.

I knew he'd never be as aggressive as I wanted him to be because he loved me.

I stopped stroking.

He slowly edged back down to my ass taking time to survey my reaction.

I yawned, I stretched, I rolled over and smiled at him and then I got up and walked out of the room.

I knew what he wanted but I wouldn't give it to him the way he wanted because I loved him.

Rant: Big girls don't cry

I have a right to be choosy.

I can choose who kneels for me...
who kisses my heels...
who worships my body...
and more importantly who serves me.

Just because I'm fat doesn't mean I don't get to be choosy.

I've mentioned before that I have a strict age preference for the men I want to serve me. For some reason this gets overlooked on a daily basis. I am looking for someone who can adequately serve me and whom is also atheistically pleasing to me. The age restriction I have enforced seems to be the average limit of when I stop thinking men above that age are attractive. Again this just my preference. Not to mention men above this age don't really have much in common with me. And yes there are exceptions to every rule but I'm speaking in a manner of generally this is what I want.

Recently on Collarme I told a sniveling 52 year old man-child that he was well above my age limit and he got snarky, down right rude if I'm putting it plainly:

"You're lucky a man of my submissive stature even wrote you. Plus you're fat, you should be happy that I'm even offering my service."

I've been called fat, chunky, round, pudgy and everything in between before. It wasn't the "F" word that got me pissed. It was his naive assumption that because I am plus size, I don't have many options. His idea that I should be grateful for the few scraps of affection I do get from any male gendered individuals because I am after all grotesque.

I encountered this often when I was dating vanilla men as well. No one should be considered "lucky" to have someone of the opposite sex acknowledge them. No one is above anyone else.

In case it needs to be said directly: Fat girls aren't desperate. Despite common misconception.

We just aren't.

I never write about my size because it's not a hindrance for me but it seems to be a hindrance for other people and honestly, that's their problem not mine.

I just wanted to let my lovely readers see why some men just aren't submissive material---or for that matter getting-to-know-them material.

Now, I will take my fat ass to bed =)

Dude looks like a lady

Congressman: I missed you.

Miss L: You only think you did.

CM: No, really I did.

ML: Prove it.

CM: Ha, you love having me at your mercy don't you?

ML: I have to admit it does get me a bit hot. Even just thinking about it gets me tingly.

CM: Oh...is that because you know to the outside world I would be a far cry from being considered submissive?

ML: Yes. And  I know behind closed doors I can dress you up like the shameless sissy you are and make you beg for me.

CM: *Blush* Yes Miss L. I would beg for anything from you.

ML: Good. Prove it. Beg to dress up in your pretty dress for me. Get on voice chat, I want to hear you whimper for it.

CM: Yes Miss L

He proceeded to get on voice chat and beg to wear the dress I liked to see his legs in. He was breathy, and spoke carefully. When I commanded a whimper he did so without hesitation. Hearing him moan and whimper made me want to dominate him even more.

ML: You're such a good boy for me sometimes.

CM: Haha I try to be Miss L. I want to be your good boy and yours only. Would you like for me to put on the dress now?

ML: Yes, turn on your cam and strip for me, then I want you to open the curtains in the room and put on the dress.

CM: The curtains? My neighbors can see in from this side of the building.

ML: ...Your point being?

CM: Yes Miss L, I will do as I am told.

With his webcam on he did exactly as I instructed. He took the slowest steps possible to the window and opened the curtains a bit.

ML: Congress boy, I want to see those curtains open wider. Just the way you were spread for me last time we were together.

He came back to the camera with a bit more red on his cheeks and a small smirk on his lips but opened them wider. I watched as he left the room and returned with his dress. He put on the stockings, his dress, a very nice wig and then he pranced over to the camera. It was quite sexy to watch the transformation.

CM: How does this look? Does Miss L approve?

ML: Turn around

He spun around causing his dress ruffles to bounce a bit.

ML: You look delightful! Now I want to see my good by act naughty.

He covered his mouth with his hand (like a proper lady), laughed and then curtseyed.

CM: Whatever you wish my Mistress

The twilight zone

After my trip to London I feel a bit empty. Aside from my personal issues while there my scene experience was great...too great in fact. It's made me feel as if the scene in this area is not where I belong.

When I was overseas it was like a parallel universe where plus size dominant women were in high demand but low supply. My American accent was charming and an instant conversation starter and any British accents were added bonus points for me. I got to attend three fetish events in the week that I was there and while I didn't get to know "everyone" I felt as if the crowd was much more welcoming than in the Metro DC area, which is a shame...because this is where I live.

I also got to meet with five potential submissives, only one of who I had actually chatted with online. The previous guys all backed out in one form or another---so I guess they have that in common with the American men as well. But the gents I did meet while there were a total delight and needed little to no coaching on my part to be submissive toward me. It was amusing leading one guy around by his belt buckle in the busy streets of London as we did get a few odd looks haha.

I know that I don't go out in the Metro DC scene anymore because it is a bit of a headache with the social politics (two groups are vying for attention and hold their festives on the same night every month), the influx of Pro Dommes at every event trying to drum up business, and the general clique feel of things. It seems to be all in "who you know" and "not what you like" in this area.

I've been dreading admitting this because I'm not sure if it was a mix of the travel bug (i.e. new place = blinders, foreign country, etc) or if it really is as black and white as it appears from my end. I've been back two months now and still, like a steady, annoying, drip from a leaky ceiling the men contacting me here are not within my criteria. The fact that many of them don't take the time to read a few simple words on a profile that states what I'm looking for in bullet format really irks the shit out of me! I find myself more angry at the fact that they blatantly ignore my wishes to write me promising how devotedly submissive they are and how well they follow instructions than the actual messages themselves.

*Sigh*  So the question remains, "Where are all the good male DC submissives?"

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Birthday wishes (Part 2)

I had invited quiet sub, I knew he was coming...I just wasn't prepared for it. We had some good sessions but then things just sort of dissolved with our work schedules and my lack of initiative and the times we had seen each other since then had been in vanilla settings.

So while prepping drinks in the kitchen, when I caught a glimpse of a cute, skinny, white boy with long hair coming thru my front door, it didn't dawn on me that it was quiet sub...even though he had told me he had grown his hair out.

There's no other way to say it: He looked completely and utterly fuckable!

Instantly I was happy I had asked him earlier in the week to let me give him some of my birthday spankings, to which he had happily agreed stating, "Whatever the birthday girl wants."

If there's one thing I miss about hanging out with quiet sub it's that he likes to have a good time. And by good time, I mean that we can drink together and get a little wild. He greeted me with a hug and I greeted him with a drink. He's much more relaxed when he drinks and I wanted him to be all relaxed and ready to receive my spankings.

We mingled at the party but kept stealing moments in the corner of random body gropings, intense looks, and bedroom eyes.

I pulled my other sub aside and said, "I want to give you my spankings with quiet sub, is that okay?"
 
"Of course! If that's what you want Miss L," he responded smiling.

I slunk over to quiet sub and pressed him up against my hallway wall lightly, carefully placing my body just close enough to make him feel my body heat. I could feel his heart beating against my breasts and his breath was hot with liquor.

"Are you still okay with me giving you spankings with my other sub?" I asked half expecting him to veto the idea at the last chance.

He thought for a brief moment and said smiling, "Yes, it's fine, as long as you're still doing the spanking."

Shortly thereafter I told the other sub to go to bed room and wait for me there and then I told quiet sub the same minutes later, staggering their entrances.

I stayed back in the midst of the party a few minutes more (just to make them wait) and then I walked back to my bedroom, opening the door to each of them standing at attention. I locked the door swiftly behind me, the alcohol coursing thru me had shifted my aggressive gear even higher than usual. My mind raced with all the things I could do with not one but two willing submissives. 

But I needed to focus on the task at hand.

"So are you two ready for your spankings?" I asked mischievously grinning slyly.

"Yes Miss L" both said aloud.

I directed them to remove their pants and to get on their hands and knees facing away from me.

If I wasn't excited before, this moment was when it hit me: Two adorable subbie boys were waiting to be spanked by me, bottoms in the air just screaming be touched. I had forgotten how much I enjoyed quiet sub's perfectly round cheeks.

I made the other sub look as well to confirm that it was a great ass.

"You're right Miss L, he does have a great ass," he said to me directly. I nodded and pushed him back down with a smile. Objectifying men the way they sometimes do to women makes me smile if only for the mere fun in turning the tables.

I grabbed Bianaca, couldn't leave her out of the festivities, and paddled the other sub's bottom for a few slaps. He moaned with his head down. Then I moved to quiet sub and did the same. They both arched their backs and pushed their asses closer to me, wanting more. I switched to my hands taking turns, spanking one while teasing the others' balls. They moaned and groaned in pleasure. Inside the bedroom it sounded like a full on mini-orgy.

I couldn't let my other vanilla guests hear what was going on so I made quiet sub kneel on his knees and face me while the other submissive remained on all fours.

"You are so fucking hot. Do you miss me spanking you?" I asked quiet sub, grabbing a handful of his newly long hair forcing him to look up at me.

"Yes Miss L I do," he said in shallow breaths.

I reached down to feel his growing cock and then I spanked the other sub who was on my left side.

I squeezed quiet sub's nipples and he let out a tiny noise that sounded like a deflating balloon.

"Do you want to kiss me?" I asked him.

He nodded and I grabbed his hair again and planted my luscious lips to his. He tasted like the tequila we had taken a shot of earlier. He was quick to give me his tongue and we made out briefly while I pinched and grabbed the other sub's ass with my free hand. There's an intensity between quiet sub and I sometimes, a carnal-ness that takes over when we focus on each other but I didn't want to leave my other sub out.

"Spank him!" I commanded quiet sub pointing to the sub's bottom.

He lifted his hand back and swatted at his bottom landing a firm but not heavy smack.

I could tell the spankee was enjoying this as I knew he enjoyed being spanked also by men with his bi-curious tendencies.

Throughout the night I played a little more in bed with the other submissive, I teased him endlessly and promised he could orgasm the following day with a dildo in his ass (which he did) and he thanked me for letting him have the honor of sharing my bed.

Quiet sub and I played a bit more the next morning as well and I can honestly say with two blowjobs, four spankings, being fingered, having my nipples sucked, watching someone orgasm to my pictures, and fucking a sub with a dildo, this was one of the best birthday I've had in ages.

How can I possibly top this next year?!

In the meantime...Birthday wishes (Part 1)

Did I tell you the one about my birthday....?

Birthdays and spankings go together like lace and leather, so it should be no surprise that it was the main focus of my birthday wishes this year.

In true Mistress L fashion, I threw a birthday party with lots of friends and even more alcohol! But the day started off much unlike other birthdays.

"This is going to be bare bottomed," the sub said almost under his breath as if he too were in shock that I was offering my ass for spankings.

I had told him in the weeks leading up to my birthday that he could give me my birthday spankings (one for each year) and from the dancing light in his eyes I knew he had been looking forward to this. Me on the other hand, I had been slightly dreading it, perhaps dreading is too strong a word, but I was definitely cautious of it.

This sub considered himself a switch. Not only that, he was a switch with a focused interest on spanking specifically. I had a preview of his spanking style before and let's just say, wow! It's a small part of what made me enjoy dominating him even more, the knowledge that he had a dominate side hidden under all that submissive goodness. 

So when I arrived there was the bit of business about my spankings to be taken care of. He had an arsenal of his favorite toys laid out menacingly for me to see beforehand:

1 wooden spoon
1 acrylic cane
1 leather paddle
1 acrylic paddle with holes
1 ping pong paddle

and of course, his bare hands.

So when he said, "This is going to be bare bottomed," I dutifully removed my panties bending over the bed to raise my ass higher for my treasured birthday spankings.

He rubbed my bottom carefully in small circles, which felt nice but then started with a surprise smack to my right cheek.

"One," I said muffled into the bedsheets, gripping them tightly in my hands. Yes. I had foolishly agreed to counting out my own spankings!

He gave me about 10 more with his hands, a few with the spoon and then switched to that devil cane.

"Sixteen, seventeen, eighteen," I counted between clenched teeth.

It wasn't that he was being overly aggressive, it's just that I am not a pain slut, not to mention me and canes (of acrylic variety specifically) have a bad history. I'll have to tell you readers that story sometime---but I still have PTSD from it so it might be a while haha.

I let him know that it was too hard and he rubbed me gently before moving on to the remainder of his toys. I couldn't honestly tell you what was next as mentally I subdued myself to take the rest (yes, even I can slip into subspace when needed I suppose) and took my spankings like a good girl.

He stood there proud of his work and I pulled up my panties, shaking my head causing the pig-tails I'd worn that day to lightly brush my ears.

"Revenge is going to be so sweet," I teased.

And throughout the day that's all I could think about, giving him his revenge spankings, that is until quiet sub walked into my party...

Life happens

Well I arrived in the UK last weekend and have left this weekend. This was much shorter than the couple months I planned to visit. I didn't get to see much of the city but an extreme family emergency has called me back and it was imminent that I return. Perhaps I will return again at a later time.

I apologize in advance for any future slack in my blogging, but don't worry I'm sure I'll be back full force once things settle down.

Rant: Polyamory is not a bad word

Listen up men of the interwebs...swingers ≠ polyamorous 

I have a few profiles floating around online and all of them mention my being in an open relationship. Despite my stating its variance to swinging the young (and sometimes much too old), dense men writing me don't seem to understand the distinct differences.

So it is for that reason I think it's imperative I explain it as I see it.

Swingers
This is a non-monogamous sexual act. Some people call it 'wife swapping' or 'partner swapping' despite the sexist connotation of it. A couple decides to and is aware of sexual activity with other people. Typically the couple shares these sexual excursions together but not always. Each partner always knows and consents to the sexual activity outside of the relationship. Their sexual acts are usually limited to that of conventional nature and is often only practiced at certain events catered to swinging, swinging clubs, etc. Within this there are two kinds of swapping "full swapping" (full penetrative sex), and "soft swapping" (oral sex). As you may notice at the core of swinging is good ol' fashion sex.

Polyamorous
The very name of this non-monogamous act explains what it means. It is comprised of the Greek words ultimately meaning "many loves". This is also another form of ethical non-monogamy. All partners are aware of outside relationships, however they don't necessarily participate as a couple and sometimes not even both participate. Sex is not the main objective of this type of relationship, experiencing multiple and diverse relationships and all they entail is. The true spirit in being in more than one relationship at a time.

The only commonalities that these share is that they are both consensual, honest, non-monogamous types of relationships. One revolves mainly around sex and the other revolves around building a relationship with an additional person(s).

I can see why the men writing me want me be into swinging. It's much more appealing on the surface and if you're looking for a quick roll in the hay, that's the fastest way to get there but that's not what me and the bf are practicing. But you can't lump us all together just because we do things in an unconventional manner. That doesn't mean we don't crave respect, tolerance, and someone who gives a damn to learn the difference.

I honestly think that both types have their respective pros and cons and even have participated in swinging in the past---nevertheless for now, I am searching for something deeper than 8 inches haha.

I say tomato...

In the past I've said that online based domination and D/s relationships were not my cup of tea. However with my trip looming on the horizon communicating via online thru emails, web cam, and instant messaging is the only feasible way to get to know anyone.

In addition to a few contacts I already had I've began talking to an array of interesting gentlemen; 4 submissives, and two switches.

I hate to be so rashly observant but in my contacts with the British men has been much more pleasant than with the guys here. They are polite, courteous, witty, and just all around a pleasure to chat with. Even when sending the inappropriate penis picture to me the sender politely apologized for his rudeness haha. That's not to say there aren't any guys here who possess those exact characteristics it's just I haven't been experiencing that online.

It has been an interesting way to flex my creative ability in thinking of ways to show my domination while I'm 3,600 miles away. Explicitly explaining the tease and tantalization that I want to put them thru, sharing naughty pictures, and just plainly getting to know them has seemed to work well thus far. 

I'm hoping that they will live up to their online identities and by live up to I mean follow thru on our loose plans to meet up. I've promised myself that I am going to make more of an effort to take part in the local scene when I get that than I do here. I'm going in with an open mind and a desire to explore possibilities.