While the cat's away, the yuppies will play

I definitely get the phrase "a New York minute" after visiting this week. The city was enthralling, bustling, and confusing as always. It's almost like being home when I am there for an extended period. And this visit I really I had to tear myself away to head back to DC.

I initially went for some work and to visit a few friends but it became evident the city had other plans for me. On Friday I went to a local BDSM group. They met in downtown Manhattan and it was a group geared towards the younger players in the scene. I was really psyched to see how their groups compared to back home so I arrived on time only to realize, the group hadn't specified how to recognize them. Once I poked around the restaurant where they were meeting I found a hand written sign sagging on the table that just said their group's call letters. Further inspection of the folks gathered round didn't show off their more kinky sides the way I thought the DC group subtly did. These people were dressed pretty smartly for a 24-hour diner which made me glad I had chosen to dress up as well.

I dragged the bf along with me so that I would have a familiar face and to expose him just a little more to the scene; not that I want to convert him, I just don't want him conjuring images of the people I hang with that are unrealistic. We were greeted briefly...very briefly and then promptly ignored. I tried jumping in the conversation over the course of the meal but they definitely had a clique feeling to their group. It was obvious they all knew each other as they traded inside jokes and hushed laughter. I found out who was "in charge" (if you want to count a whiny, overly anxious, unorganized man-child as a leader) and tried to introduce myself again but I was brushed off. As new members came they scrambled not to be placed at the end of the table with myself..."the new girl". It was like I had cooties! I'll admit, I wasn't being loud or overly aggressive in the situation but that's because I wanted to make a good first impression, you only get one chance right? And they were tanking as I found their behavior down-right rude.

And just as I was about to leave a delightfully adorable girl with a small but simple collar sat next me. She smiled and I thought, "Now here's a friendly face". The group acknowledged her but then proceeded to also keep her out of the loop. Her, myself and my bf all chatted for almost an hour and I learned that she was young, new to the group (this was her second meeting) and looking to make friends. We exchanged our Fetlife info and I can at least be grateful that if nothing else, I made one acquaintance from from the snobby diner bunch. I guess I'm just not New York enough to fit into that group.

On Saturday night I participated in something I'd never heard of, much less done. A phone party line. I can't even recall how I heard about this or got involved, but I do enjoy a good session of phone sex so I thought I'd see what this was all about. I talked with local subs and slaves and a few other Dommes via phone for a couple hours about various BDSM topics. I had a blast and was provided with thought-provoking discussions. Afterward you decide if you want to exchange phone numbers with anyone you talked to and I was lucky enough to be requested by everyone I chatted with! After picture sharing, some of us even made plans to meet the next time I was in the city.

I am not sure if I have mentioned how I feel about what I've dubbed as the "sub-hunt" but I usually take a while to find a sub. I am not sure if it's because I am too picky or because the men are too flaky but once I find a sub I try to give it my all. When our time has come to an end, I go back on the "sub-hunt" sometimes it can take me 6 months or longer to find what I deem an adequate submissive. So far I've been looking for a year, more seriously for the past few months and it is getting daunting. I feel as if I am scrapping the bottom of the barrel with my search. So I mentally told myself that if I hadn't found anyone that I was interested in and vice-versa by November 1st that I am taking an official break for a few months. Just as a breather and to keep my sanity! So, I started looking in NY (because this is also where I found the bf) and I wrote a few people. Some guys were interesting but I got a vibe letting me know they weren't serious. I talked on the phone to a couple but there was no spark. One guy even said after picking up the phone: "Miss L, I have to be honest, I am just looking for sex...and you have a beautiful mouth that I want to do dirty things to me." While I appreciate his candor, I politely declined haha.

I decided to switch up my approach. Fuck how much a guy says he can do for me, fuck his experience, fuck how well he can worship my pussy, and look for someone I might actually get along with. It was with this attitude I wrote someone on Collarme who listed his vanilla interests before his BDSM interests in his profile (brownie point #1), was interested in music and the arts (brownie point #2), was easy on the eyes (brownie point #3) and was located just 8 miles from where I was currently (brownie point #4). I wrote him an honest one-liner and kept looking but to my surprise he was also online that moment and wrote back within minutes. We chatted for a bit in messenger and then he asked if he could call me later that night. Guys rarely ask if they can call me. They always want to fuck around and chat online for ages or text sexual fantasies or email me NSFW pics. I usually have to initiate the phone call idea. All the more reason I was happy to oblige. Once he called and we talked, it was strange...we just fell into the conversation. It was like we had talked before or maybe he was just that easy to talk to. He kept complimenting my voice and my personality (never a bad move) but I kept waiting for the other shoe to drop lol. The conversation was going so well and I enjoyed his personality so much that I slipped in casually:

"So, you wanna meet tomorrow for lunch?" There was a slight pause on his end.

Fuck. I knew it, another illusionist. He just wanted to see how close he could get to his fantasy without actually having to act on it.

"Sure! I'd love to Queen L" he chimed in.

Now I was the one with a pause. I tried not to get too excited because, making plans and following thru on plans are two different things.

I told him to pick a restuarant that wasn't Thai and text me the location tomorrow around noon.

The night dragged on with my insomnia and I tried not to think about tomorrow and if he would really text me or if we would really meet. I was relieved when sleep took me over at 7am.

A little after 12, still no text. I wasn't disappointed. I had prepped myself to expect this. I did some last minute packing, showered and such but when I came back to my phone I had one message with the name of a Columbian resturant and the address, with a time to meet. He had taken to calling me Queen L so I instructed him to write "Queen's Subject" on his inner hand before we met. For me this was just another test to see if the Collarme sub was serious. We met and had lunch. He was everything I thought he'd be from talking. Halfway thru lunch he flashed me his palm, inside in big black sharpie letters were: Queen's Subject. This was very unlike one sub I met who didn't work out who wrote another message on his hand so tiny I needed magnifying glasses to read it. This sub was proud to have my name scrawled across his body.

He offered me back to his place for tea and I didn't have anything but time to kill before the drive back so I accepted. Upon arriving, he showed me around but when I sat on the couch, I told him to sit lower than myself. He sat on the floor, then laid on the floor and that is where he stayed. He begged to kiss my feet and hands, which I let him do. He was so adorable as he lay wrapped around my leg almost drifting to sleep as I petted his head. I really wanted to have him strip and allow me the pleasure of some light spanking, but I didn't want to push too far for a first meeting. We talked and moved from room to room but he still expressed wanting to sit at my feet.

At some point he asked me if I liked the power exchange that comes with being a Domme. "What does it feel like to see me sitting here at your feet?", he asked from my toes.

"I can't describe it in words," I said as I thought about it for a moment.

"You know when you have a craving for a certain food...and maybe you wait all week until Friday to finally get it but then you do? It's like the first taste of the food, when it melts in your mouth and you savor the flavor" I said whole heartedly.

He seemed to like this analogy. But that was accurate for me and if the Collarme sub is my first taste of a long craving, then I think I'll have seconds!

A hard day's night

I've had an interesting past couple of weeks. I've been really trying to get out and meet some new people, subs, switches, CDs, even some Doms.

I decided to send a cutesy CD I've admired online a message, just asking if she'd like to have drinks sometime. To my surprise she agreed to almost immediately. We decided on a local bar but she got lost on the way and I used my super GPS skills to guide her to where I was. We just happened to be near a secluded pasture that has a water park attached. Of course since it was late at night it was closed but that didn't stop us from hopping the fence and enjoying a little after-hours fun in the park. We rode all the slides and even got in the wading area of the pool. It was not what I had expected of the night but was fun all the same.

A little later in the week I met up with a young yet ambitious switch who happens to be a nurse. Nurse sub met up at the bookstore where I was having a discussion with some friends. He was very friendly and pretty normal (which is always a relief). We had almost gotten thru the night with us just chatting as friends when I jokingly chided him for wearing the same color as me. He played along and apologized promising next time to ask for permission to match. My stomach did a little flip flop with excitement. A few days later we went out for dinner together and he was just as friendly. I think he's a nice person but worry how about how much time he has to devote to a demanding Miss such as myself, as he is a bit of a workaholic.

I had a mid-week dinner planned with a sub who sounded spot-on. But, he was promising me the moon and the stars and we'd only been talking for a few weeks online and had yet to meet face to face. I'm a firm believer that it's easy to be anyone you want online, the true test is how you're able to transcend that into reality when you meet someone. But something didn't sit quite right with me about him, so I was anxious to meet him and see for myself what he was like and what do you know...he stood me up! Yes, even a I get stood up. I tried to give him a second chance (even though I was livid) but he basically ignored me. I can only chuckle when I think that it his lost, not mine. This was definitely a case of it sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

Sweet sub heard about me being stood up and offered to hang out with me the following night. I think he was trying cheer me up, which he did. I finally invited him over (for the first time) and he modeled some underwear he had for me. Yes ladies and gents, it's only taken nearly 2 years but I finally got to see him in his undies. He really does have a nice ass for showing off panties. When we met up for drinks last night he expressed to me that he'd be interested in forced oral on another male. While I'm usually not really that into two guys (there's no room for me there!), the thought of his adorable mouth wrapped around a hard cock definitely got me thinking. The more I learn about sweet sub the more I like. It doesn't hurt that he has such a innocent look to him but I know all the naughty things he wants to do!

Now I'm off to New York for a week to see what kind of trouble I can get into in the Big Apple. 

Ask Miss a stupid question, you know you want to...

I wanted to thank everyone who participated in "Ask A Stupid Question Day", and apologize for the lateness. I didn't think you all would really get into it but you did. Some were sexy...some were downright dirty! But, as promised here's a few selected of the questions asked:

Do you sing in the shower?

Sometimes I do sing in the shower, usually to pop songs or show tunes lol.

Have you ever swallowed cum?

Yep, I'm avid believer in swallowing not spitting, unless it's funky spunk...then just walk away, actually run.

What's your worst fashion accessory?

Hmm, I usually don't care what's stylish and make my own statement but even I have to admit that my shirt proclaiming: "For rent by the hour" is a little more forward than I like sometimes haha.

Do you have a favorite sex position?

Definitely! Doggie-style is my favorite. This is even hotter in the mirror over my bed.

Do you believe in aliens?

It'd be silly to think we were the only intelligent life-forms in the solar system.

How many of your submissives have you had feelings for?

Once you get into the swing of things with sessions or collaring someone it is hard to remain completely in role at all times. For me I only choose long-term subs if I have an emotional or extremely sexually-charged connection with them. If that applies, I can't help but start to care about them, even if it is only as a good friend.

What is your ideal Thanksgiving dinner?

This is one of my favorite holidays. Dinner wise: Stuffing, cranberry sauce (from the can!), mac & cheese, green bean casserole, mash potatoes, turkey and ham, pumpkin pie, pineapple slices, spinach, and cheddar biscuits. Mmm, I'm making myself hungry.

If you could do anything to one sub you've mentioned in your blog, who would it be and what would you do?

This is kinda a trick question haha. I haven't introduced all the subs I've met into my blog yet. But I have always enjoyed domesticating a sub for my use. I would love a full day where I worked and my sub just did whatever he was told to do. That could be from massaging my feet, to mopping, to grocery shopping, and then letting me use him as a footstool, all while wearing whatever I have decided will make him appealing to me. I find it completely sexy when a submissive does what he's asked and with a very genuine "Yes Ma'am" in response.

Do you believe the moon landing was a hoax?

I've often wondered because of its convenient timing and some of the facts not adding up. Our government hiding things or falsifying events for the general public is nothing new.

As a Mistress, do you ever get tired of being in charge?

Absolutely not. I love making decisions in life or others lives, even it's just to tell the other person that they must make a decision. My creativeness is what keeps me from getting board with BDSM.

What's one guilty pleasure of yours (non-sexual)?

It's gotta be reality television. I can really get sucked into their carnival-esque lives sometimes!

Do you ever hurt your hand when you're spanking someone?

Yes. Haha, sometimes I wonder who's really getting the inflicting punishment.

I like your blog when it's sexy, why did you do this dumb question thing?

Just to annoy you haha but seriously, there'll be more sexy things this week so sit tight.

A little eye candy

A friend I've made recently via Fetlife sent me lovely pictures after his play session this weekend. He knows that I have a weakness for Speedos and seeing boys' asses in them. It's like a work of art waiting to being punished =) He said I could share and I didn't want to deprive my dear readers of all my beautiful benefits!

Enjoy!

So spankable isn't it?

What women want

...I actually don't know what all women want, I only know what this woman wants.

I have finally come to terms with what exactly I really want. Many of the things in my life have fallen into place except men. With me, men and relationships have always been an exhilarating roller coaster. I've been thru many hands-in-the-air ups and stomach-turning downs. But it wasn't until I found BDSM that I finally realized it wasn't selfish to want the things I wanted. It didn't make me a bitch to want to be catered to. And it most certainly didn't make me a freak if I wanted to do those with a paddle in hand.

What I seek seems simple enough but weeding thru the unworthies does get daunting. Even though I am dominant that does not mean I need to constantly be in control. I do not want a spineless, worm of a man. I want someone who will hold their head high and walk beside me with confidence. I want someone who will make me laugh while we're out but beg and plead in the bedroom. Someone who will cherish the collar he wears nearly as much as he himself is cherished by me. Even someone who gives a little resistance just to receive a little pain would be a fresh of breath air.

Wake up from your fantasies little subbie boys and smell the leather. Some of us ladies actually know what we want...and if you can stop fumbling over your balls for a minute and get it together you could be sitting pretty under our heels.

Questions, questions, questions

For those of you who are unaware, September 30th is "Ask A Stupid Question Day". I always enjoy answering questions from readers, so I figured why skip this occasion. With that said, all readers are free to email me any questions (no matter how silly) until September 25th and I will post my response to them on the 30th.

If you wish to remain anonymous please state so in your inquiry and feel free to write your question anonymously as well if you'd like. I look forward to seeing what's on all of your minds! So speak up and await answers from the all-knowing Mistress L.

Blowjob: It's not always better than nojob

I had an interesting conversation last week via email where a friend of mine mentioned that he was happy to receive a blowjob after a long drought of

sex. He only had one complainant...it was a bad blowjob.

Every woman who takes the liberty of going down on a man thinks that her technique needs no work. That you, the man, should be grateful that she even went down on you. Unfortunately I have news for you ladies, you could probably use some much needed pointers. Some of these I've mentioned briefly before but this will more in depth.

So let's dive in:

FACT

Blowjobs are a lot a work but can still be fun.

FACT

Going down on your man is still illegal in 15 states, so treasure your naughty actions.

FACT

Not all women were created equal, sorry.

Now for the fun stuff. Basically a blowjob consist of two main techniques (both of which can be built upon), the suck-swallow and the deep throat. The suck-swallow is the easier of the two and the standard go-to but just because it's easier you shouldn't be giving him a yawn fest.

Remember these simple things when going down on a man:

LADIES

Breathe!

Since your mouth will be full during this activity remember to breathe thru your nose. It'll help you from gagging and needing to take frequent stops

Use Your Hands

Don't just hang your hands at your side during a bj, use those extra tools to help stimulate him in all the right places. But remember don't grab his balls too hard (unless he's into that). I try to stick to a "rolling" motion as if I were rolling out small balls of dough.

Pay Him Lip Service

It is a blowjob but don't forget to use those lips of yours for sucking, nibbling, and of course any tongue action you can provide. This will help keep him going while you give your jaw a break.

Get Comfy

Make sure you're in a position that gives you complete access to everything you want to touch without losing your balance. Being on your knees can be a drag after awhile so perhaps put a pillow under you.

Be Creative

Blowjobs are wonderful on their own...but if you want to give him something he'll be sure to remember you can try different things to enhance his experience. Ice cubs, humming with him your mouth, an Altoid. Try different things and see what he likes.

For the ladies that want to attempt deep throating beware: Not all women are created equal. Meaning, not all women have the ability to deep throat. The main technique of taking a cock deep is to suppress your gag reflex. If you're unable to do this you will suck, but not literally...literally you will gag. And honestly, that's not attractive. If you really insist on learning you can practice on a banana (don't be upset if you don't get it right away nor if you're just unable to do it) or you can cheat with this trick: while going as deep as you can on him, use your hand on the shaft to simulate an extended mouth. He probably won't even notice as he'll be in pure bliss.

And men, don't think you got off so easy. If you want a blowjob don't make it difficult for us ladies. Sometimes you are your own demises. Be courteous and follow these tips:

GENTLEMEN
Don't Hold Her Head

We are going as deep as we want to. Any head pushing makes you look like an ass, unless of course she places your hand on the back of her head, then gently push her deeper. If she resist, let up.

Groom, Groom, Groom

Tame the jungle that is your pubic hair. I hate swallowing a "furball" as I'm enjoying giving a good bj. It can turn her off or worse cause us to instinctively chew to get it out. Ouch!

Be Squeaky Clean

I shouldn't need to point this out, but after seeing guy after guy forget this important rule...WASH YOUR COCK! If it smells funny, is sticky, or extra dry looking...I'm probably going to head in the other direction (no pun intended). Oh, and don't forget under those balls!

Announce Your Arrival

Never cum in a woman's mouth without asking her. Period. I know you all get caught up in the moment but when you feel yourself getting close just say so. This isn't a porn. Also, it'll give her the option of pulling away or taking it like a champ.

Now everyone, go out and have fun sucking someone off.

And for the ultra considerate studs, here's a recipe of my own that even you're sure to love, to give you that extra sweet taste:

Miss L's Super Spunk Smoothie

1 cup pineapple, fresh or canned
1 banana, frozen
1 cup apple juice
1/2 tsp ginger
1/2 tsp cinnamon
1/4 tsp nutmeg
1/2 tsp vanilla extract
2 TBS honey
Optional ingredients: 1 raw egg white, 2 TBS wheat germ, 2 TBS flax seed, 1 shot wheat-grass juice

Blend all ingredients in a blender until smooth. 

Drink immediately. 

Repeat daily for best results. 

Takes about one week to go into effect.

It'll only hurt worse if you...

Miss L finally stopped being anti-social last night and headed out to the city for a night with some fellow BDSM fans and kinksters alike. It was my first meeting with the group so I brought along my most trusted entourage members: the fiance and my best male friend. It's funny to see my man in these situations as even though he isn't into BDSM his natural curiosity peaks and he can't help but be his friendly self, ensuring that the conversations he gets himself into are always interesting to say the least.

This group was a lot different than the last group I went to with sweet sub as the members were relatively around my age. I didn't see one woman who could have been my grandmother and don't think I saw any over-the-top older men. Yay for a target crowd!

I settled in quickly as there were people there whom I have been talking with via FetLife or otherwise for years to more recently who I had yet to meet face-to-face. Nice surprises all around. They were a friendly bunch of folks, not at all stand-offish and generally open to any questions.

One boy (he is in all rights a man but he was such a hug-able size that in my mind he's a boy) really stood out for me. He's a Dom but is ever so adorable and just screaming: "Collar me! Spank me!" At least that was my internal monologue whenever he got near me for hugs. If he were to ever want to bend over for me all he'd have to do is name the time and place. Oh and did I mention he has amazing hair for tugging? Long and blonde...Mmm.

Attending the meeting was suppose to help quiet the cravings I had. At least murmur it for a time but I think it actually ramped it up! I found myself in mid-scratching, getting massaged randomly, squeezing butts, and all but licking some people who stopped by my table to chat. I'm so naughty sometimes.

Contrary to popular belief you aren't suppose to picture others naked to calm your nerves for an adverse affect of the giggles. But trust me, there was no giggling when picturing everyone naked, just sheer heated desire.

Mental note: It was a good idea to leave the riding crop at home!

My sexual pickles & ice cream

I'm climbing the walls with an over 6 month dry spanking spell on my theoretical heels. This may seem unusual or very usual if I'm picky as I am as of late. Sometimes I wonder if I'm too narrow-visioned.

When I actually sit and think about what I want in my next dominant-submissive relationship I either draw a blank or too many things come to mind that don't seem feasible.

So, my horniness this weekend led me to message a sub I use to play with on a weekly basis: quiet sub. He and I haven't done anything in a year but we have kept in touch. Before I could even ask him about meeting up soon he beat me to it. It's always nice to have an eager sub wanting to see you, especially him with his ever submissive gaze!

We had pretty good understanding and general routine whenever he visited. We'd hang out for a bit (eat dinner, watch a movie, etc) then have a shot or two of alcohol (he has a bit of anxiety I believe so this helped him relax) and then start in on our playing for a few hours or so. When we were done sometimes we'd talk about the session sometimes we'd talk about random stuff, then he'd be on his way.

We'll see if I can wait long enough to see him or if I'll hit up a club in the meantime for some action or maybe just a munch will take my mind off it.

But, I cannot put into words how badly I want to feel someone's skin in my hand as I spank them, or how much I would love to spit in a sub's mouth. I just get cravings for certain acts and there is no real way to squelch them unless I obey them.

Makes me wonder if I am a submissive to my own needs sometimes...

Under Mistress L's Spell

Mistress L gives me the look that says, "Sit down and shut up." I'm already doing that but I still feel scolded when she sashays by in nothing but a pair of lacy black panties and a matching bra, holding a phone to her ear. Although her round hips and short legs look stunning as usual, she means business. 

I have an itch on my knee but I dare not scratch it while she's in view. I've been on my knees for 15 minutes now and she's yet to say one word to me. 

When I arrived, I knocked on the door and once I saw her peek out of the curtain, I waited the mandatory 5 minutes before I entered. Then I stripped down to the spandex Speedos I always wore at her house and placed the semi-spiky collar around my neck, held the leash in my hands, and began kneeling. 

She had been upstairs working out when I had gotten there but had bounced down the stairs and patted me on the head as she passed me on the floor a few minutes later. This usually meant I had done everything correctly. And thank god for that as the collar I was wearing could get painful if I had fouled up; the spikes were on the inside and with one tug of the attached leash it tightened around my neck and sent searing sensations through one's body; a device she had created and fashioned herself.

Next she had gone on finish her workout stretching right in front of me. Each time she bent to do a toe touch her crotch was only inches from my face. I swear she held the poses for longer than the woman on the television was doing. She loved teasing me. After said teasing she peeled her sweaty clothes off and hopped in the shower. 

I knew exactly what to do once the water started. I gathered up her moist clothing, oh how I wanted to bury my face in it, but last time she caught me doing that she had me do yard work in the hot California sun until I was pouring with sweat. Then she made me ring out my shirt into a shot glass and drink what was produced. No, I wouldn't be sniffing her workout clothes. I put the dirty clothes in the laundry, grabbed her robe, a towel, and her moisturizer and put it in the bathroom for her and then resumed my position in the living room floor. 

When she exited the bathroom in the matching black bra and panties she was on a phone call, chit-chatting away. When she handed me the moisturizer and flopped down on the couch, her leg bent as if I were put on a glass slipper, I began another sometimes-step of this ritual, I rubbed the lotion all over her legs to what I thought was her satisfactory. 

But, I lingered a bit too long in the upper thigh area, how could I not want to caress her soft, brown thighs? And this is when she shot me the look and took the moisturizer from me. She ran upstairs and came back saying, "Yes, Mom, I know" into her telephone. 

I found it highly erotic that she was doing such mundane things but with such sexy undertones. I could barely hide my excitement as she reached over to my quickly erecting cock and snapped the CB device on in one movement. It didn't want to close, as it often was the case when I was hard, but Mistress lifted my balls back and made me fit. 

"SNAP!" was the sound of the case trying to contain my member. She threw me a smile and motioned for me to turn over on my hands and knees. I did so without hesitation. 

She retreated to the kitchen and returned quickly but with what I did not see. She pulled down the skin-tight spandex, Speedos. "Slap! Slap!" She began spanking my now exposed ass. She tugged at my hair tightly in between as if to keep me in perfect stance. 

"Oh, I'm just kneading some tough dough....yes, I bake mother!" She said on the telephone. I heard her stifle a giggle as continued to spank me, with what I now realized was a wooden spoon. "This is how I was taught to make it. You beat it until it molds to what you want it. If that doesn't work, you throw it out and start on a fresh batch." 

Her Mother thought she was talking about dough but I knew she was talking about men, submissive men to be exact. And that's how Mistress L was. She was always one step ahead of my submissive thoughts. 

And that experience sticks out in my mind after 5 years because it is still the only time I've had a Mistress completely control me without ever talking to me. She is one of those women who can give you a look worth a thousand words, a stance that means business, or a finger wag that gives you chills.

And even though that was long ago, when I was first deciding on whether I was submissive or dominant, it was very real. Misress L helped me explore things I had never thought of, some things I have never experienced again. 

But, I have to admit, even in my current dominant role, with one slave-girl of my own, and many spanking sessions under my belt, she is still the only women who can give me one look and make my knees turn to putty, to the point where the buried urge to kneel before her is so great, I'm always surprised when I'm still standing.  

Thank you Mistress L for allowing me share just one of many wonderful adventures that we journeyed. - Your former bitch, Joshua