Put on a happy face...

I received the CB-6000 I ordered a while ago.

What's a cock cage without a cock?

I was really happy to have it but quickly realized that I didn't have anyone to cage up. No one to train, spank, tease and then so skillfully deny.

It's been about 10-15 days now without my former slave fully. Things are getting better but I am still having the bad dreams where I wake up calling his name apparently and not eating much. I feel like the least powerful Mistress there ever was right now. I'm usually good at getting over stuff and try, try, trying again but this feels slightly different. This was honestly my first try with a lot of things that I might have to rethink. I did things differently than I have the past 6 years.

It was my first time...

-Qusai dating my slave; or at least not being exclusive with him

-Having a boyfriend and a slave at the same time

-Not discussing the "dating/courting" period with my slave

-Picking a slave that I was both very physically and mentally attracted to

-Owning a slave younger than myself

-Taking a slave that had little to no extended experience with serving

-Training in sessions rather than as-we-go-along training

I might have to go back to the drawing board on this one to figure out what works for me. Obviously what's worked before was not what I was seeking or else I wouldn't have tweaked what I sought.

My friends are very eager to get me out of my sullen mood and back into the swing of things but I'm going to have to do that at my own pace. It's only been 2 weeks but that wound is still relatively new. I understand they just want to see me happy and I suppose I will find that in my own time. I've been running thru my mind over and over again just realizing what mistakes were made this time around and even though I know they cannot be undone I'd at least like to learn from them. 

In short I suppose what I am looking for in my next slave endeavor is:

-A person who won't mind a poly relationship/play (should I choose to engage in one)

-Someone to be honest with, I must know they will be reasonable and rational with me

-A slave with more experience (real-time experience is a must)

-A common bond that will allow us to respect each other at all times

-Someone I will appreciate fully (both on and offline)

-A very open-minded individual with whom I can explore and experience new fetishes

-Someone who can communicate on all levels, vanilla and non-vanilla

-Someone who realizes our BDSM relationship may not always be fair but it will always be respected

I'm going to strive to build a better foundation on the next BDSM relationship I enter into. I will make sure to be open, honest, and forthcoming with my dealings.

So maybe lucky number 10?