Rant: BDSM is just not that into you

This has been bugging me for quite some time: People who think using handcuffs or tying up their bf/gf once automatically means they're 'into" BDSM.

Get real.

I'm sorry, call me a bitch (it wouldn't be the first or last time) but I'm a bit of an elitist here. I think BDSM goes far beyond some cheap $5 handcuffs and loosely tying someone up. If anything this means you're flirting with the idea of being kinky. 

Kinky ≠ BDSM.

To me, BDSM is 90% mindfuck, 10% props. Seeing a submissive on their knees does a lot more for me than tying them to a chair. Hearing the words "You own me" get me more wet than any pair of handcuffs ever have. For me, BDSM is all about the power exchange.


When did everyone decide to hop on the BDSM Express? You think because you saw Secretary or a few primetime shows with reference to the scene you have BDSM all figured out? If hear one more of my "friends" claim to be into BDSM without ever having experienced it...I think I will scream. I understand some people research, and talk, and plan, and plot before engaging in an activity and if I thought that any of the people throwing around the BDSM name had the wherewithal to actually follow thru I'd shut-up....but they don't. Hence my supreme need for a rant.

I promise not to think any less of you if you're not into BDSM, I can't say the same if you act like a poser...